Fintan's philosophy of gamesmanship.

Fintan, eight, is a quirky boy, in some ways. Yet, there is wisdom in his offbeat viewpoints. Today provided an example.

Fintan played Gaelic football, today, with his little brother Tiarnan. After he came home, he told his mother of a stratagem he had used.

“If you want to win a game,” he began, with a sense of revelation, “pretend you are not playing.”

That thought sunk teasingly into his mother’s mind and jogged her interest.

“Walk slowly across the pitch, as if you are not really there, then, when the ball comes near you, leap on it and kick it as hard as you can!” He laughed, joyously, at his own cunning ploy.

Syahidah laughed too.

Later on, my laughter sounded too, when I heard the tale from my wife.

“Fintan is a social strategist.”, I observed to her. “That will take him far in life.”

She agreed.

I think this incident speaks clearly of the nature of Fintan’s thinking. He is very much aware of the social sphere and of the content of other’s people’s thoughts. He uses his predictions of what they will think, to devise strategies to achieve his goals. He does this automatically and is probably unaware of any effort attached – he just sees, reflexively, what to do, in a social situation to make it work out well for him. This, of course, means that he has plenty of friends. Indeed, people of all ages respond well to Fintan. This is a kind of gift which is too often overlooked – but I think that, of all the gifts one could have, it is undoubtedly among the most useful in life and the most helpful in achieving success. It is the one gift many intelligent children lack. Without it, they are most unlikely ever to achieve their “potential”. That, at least, shall not be Fintan’s fate. I expect him to grow to be most comfortable in the social world and adept within it. What he will make of that skill I do not know, but, from the hints of his attitudes, I would be unsurprised to find him becoming a businessman of some kind. Whatever he chooses to do, I know this: he won’t be alone and there will always be friends in his life. Oh and he will be pretty good at any game involving people.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

On coping with rejection.

The biggest difference between those who succeed in life, and those who fail, is in how they cope with rejection. Some are spurred on by it – others are destroyed by it.

Today, I stumbled on an Internet reference to an Indian Singaporean boy who had shown significant precocity as a child. At the age of 12 or so, he was doing A level exams. He seemed set for a great future. Then he applied for Cambridge, with three A levels in hand...and got rejected. Now, this boy, who had been consumed every day of his young life by Maths and Physics, was totally disheartened by this. He gave up his studies of Maths and Physics. No details were given as to his mental state, but I imagine, from the way he behaved, that he was depressed. He no longer pursued his interests. They no longer seemed to interest him. His relative described him, at the age of 15, as having “lost both his interest and his ability” in both Maths and Physics. He no longer showed precocity. He had become “ordinary”.

It was saddening to read of this case, because I can only say, from my own experience of Cambridge University, that this boy’s rejection from it, may actually have been a good thing. As a young boy, in Cambridge, he would have faced a daunting level of stress and pressure. This may have been damaging and is likely to have been much more than he was prepared to cope with. Looking at his very stark reaction to a simple rejection, I cannot imagine it being even remotely possible that he could cope with life in such a pressured, demanding University. He has given up his life dream simply because one University said: “No.” That is profoundly silly, in its own way. Cambridge reject many good candidates every year...even some great ones slip through, no doubt. They do so, because they are oversubscribed – they are overflowing with good candidates to choose from. Another issue which this young boy seems to have overlooked, is his own age. I am sure that Cambridge is not keen to take on a young boy. They probably rejected him not for his grades (which admittedly were good, but not as good as most candidates), but because of his AGE. They probably didn’t want to cope with the challenges of taking on a thirteen year old, as he would probably have been by the time of admission.

This boy, of such great promise, has given up everything because he could not get into the University of his choice. In so doing, he is showing that he is unable to cope with rejection. Thus, though it is a shame that his talent may now never flower, I can’t help but feel that anybody who gives up, on one rejection, is not going to be able to cope with the difficulties of life. If it hadn’t been Cambridge rejecting him, that stopped him, it would have been something else. For all his evident intelligence and diligence, this boy lacks resilience – the ability to cope with adversity. Thus, whatever the size of his talent the likely dimensions of his success, are going to be limited by this failing. He will never be able to overcome challenges, until he learns to cope with rejection and be resilient in the face of life.

I hope he learns the skill of resilience and the toughness to cope with rejection. If he does not, there is no way this boy is going to achieve the heights his basic intellect and diligence promised. His descent into what seems like depression holds a lesson for all parents of gifted children: do not let your child be put off by a rejection – or indeed, many rejections . People are often rejected for reasons that have nothing to do with their talent. Such decisions should not be allowed to crush a child, but should just be used as a lesson in how life does not always go smoothly or according to our ideal wishes. All children need to learn to overcome such challenges. Children who don’t, are unlikely to ever succeed, no matter how intelligent they are.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

A most polite boy.

Today, as we sat in a restaurant, eating dinner, Tiarnan, five, picked up a chip that had not been covered in chilli powder and rubbed it against one which had. Chilli powder duly transferred from the second chip, to the first.

“Thank you.”, said, Tiarnan, gratefully, his eyes peering down at the plate.

“Who are you saying thank you, to?” I asked, curious, since his gaze had been on no human. “Was it the chip?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Why? Was it because the chip gave you something?”

He nodded again.

What a polite boy. Even the chips get a thank you, from him.

Next he picked up another chip.

“This is the chip I said thank you, to.”, he noted, his eyes looking up at me with an odd seriousness, with a hint of humour in it.

“Now you are going to eat it?”

He looked at the chip, with assessing eyes, and carefully replaced it on the plate.

When he had finished eating, the chip which had “done him a favour”, was left uneaten, on the plate. He just didn’t have the heart to eat the chip that had “helped him out”!

How sweet.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Sensitivity in a child.

Fintan is a sensitive boy. He notices matters of feeling where others would see and feel nothing at all. This receptiveness complements, nicely, his adeptness in social skills – indeed, the two seem closely related, to me.

Long ago, so long that I cannot place a time on it (though I will consult with my wife and see if we can pin it down), Fintan was listening to his mother sing songs, to him, one night.

“Mummy,”, he said, his serious voice emerging from the darkness, “Why do you sing sad songs, at night?”

Syahidah was taken aback. “No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”, he said, still serious, indeed, somewhat saddened, it seemed. “Rock a bye baby is a sad song, because the baby falls down.”

He had a point. Syahidah fell silent and decided not to sing that song. I don’t know whether she ever sang it again.

This exchange is so characteristic of Fintan. To my mind, there is a great sweetness in being able to perceive, as Fintan does, the tragedy in a lullaby, or the underlying emotions in any social situation, whether personally witnessed, or described to him, in a story or on a TV: Fintan always sees the feelings at work – and the meanings of it in terms of emotional values.

It occurs to me that these are the kinds of perceptions and skills that no school ever teaches. Indeed, they would probably go unappreciated in any school in the world. No-one cares too much for feeling or its perception. Yet, in truth, such perceptions are of great value: they are what guide us in our relations with the world and they are that on which many a work of art, in any media, is founded. For Fintan to see the world in this way, is a blessing that, I hope, he will fully appreciate when he grows up. The question is: will the world appreciate this gift, in him, or overlook it? Will the wonder why he is moved, when he is so? Will people think him overly sensitive? Will they regard that as an asset, or a burden?

Whatever the world might think of Fintan’s ways, I know him to be blessed. For Fintan sees emotional riches in the world that others cannot see at all. That means that Fintan’s world is more alive, more layered and more meaningful than the world of those who do not see, as he does. That can only be a good thing.

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page. To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html
and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here: http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Fintan's emotional perception.

Sometimes the questions children ask alter the way a parent sees the world. They are questions which bring home a truth that, perhaps, had been overlooked.

A few days ago, Fintan, five, asked one such question.

He was sitting quietly with his mother, when he turned to her with query in his eyes.

"Why do people look so happy when they are going to the circus, but the animals look so sad?"

The question quite startled his mother, for there was a deep truth in his implicit observation. It is no fun being a caged animal, no matter how much the crowd might enjoy it.

Fintan is a close observer of the world. Sometimes, he sees things which are easy to overlook. Often, he surprises with his questions because they are of a moral, or philosophical or ethical nature. These are not the questions one expects of a five year old. They are questions that show he sees the world through moral eyes, emotional eyes, ethical eyes. He is not only seeing the world for what it is, but asking what it should be. He is questioning the way things are, from a moral perspective and judging it, for emotional value.

It is interesting to see his preoccupation with such questions. Part of him is showing a social maturity that is welcome to see. It is what allows him to get on with everyone he meets. Often, people extend to him an open invitation to visit. What is he doing right, that makes him so popular? Well, that kind of question says it all. Fintan is a young boy who is thinking about feelings, emotions, moral values, what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is not. He is thinking about human conduct - and, beneath it all, seems to hold the value that all should be happy.

Obviously, the character that he has now is but the rudiment of what he is to be. However, I can see that this root promises to be a tree of solid character and human insight. I look forward to knowing, one day, the man he promises to be.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

Brotherly love and solidarity

Tiarnan is a little boy of big emotions. Though only fifteen months old, he shows an interesting degree of complexity in his social interactions and emotional responses.

A few days ago, Syahidah scolded Fintan, for something or other. Tiarnan was a witness to this. On seeing that Fintan was upset by this, he took it upon himself to deal with the matter. He followed his mother out of the living area and into the kitchen and, when he finally reached her, he gave her an overarm slap, with all the not very mighty force of his diminutive frame. Then, having satisfied his innate sense of justice he hurried back to Fintan, where he sat beside him, sharing a silent solidarity with him.

It was touching to see this demonstration of togetherness with his much larger brother: there they sat, a Laurel and Hardy like pair - Tiarnan, appearing slender, delicate and dwarfed by his much stockier, three year old brother Fintan.

It is in such displays that we can read the love children have for each other. Tiarnan is very attached to his mother - yet, on seeing his brother scolded, he took umbrage - and sided with his sibling.

(If you would like to read more of Tiarnan, fifteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and five months, or Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted children and gifted adults in general. Thanks.)

Tiarnan's concern for Daddy

Yesterday, Tiarnan, fifteen months (just turned), did something very sweet.

I was sitting in the computer room and Tiarnan was outside near the kitchen with his mummy. He was carrying a plate on which there sat a biscuit with spread on it. Syahidah told him to go sit in the living room - and he began to walk off - but not in the direction she had indicated. He walked towards the computer room.

Thus, I saw his little form round the corner carrying this plate. He raised it up to me so that I could better see what he offered. It was clear what he intended: my baby son was trying to feed his Daddy. I wasn't hungry but I wasn't going to refuse this thoughtful kindness of my youngest son.

"Thank you, Tiarnan, for the biscuit." I said and he seemed gratified.

I reached down and took the half-eaten biscuit (for the rest was inside him) and ate it, bite by bite. He watched me do so and offered me the plate. I took it and placed it down on the table. When the biscuit was finished he pointed at the plate - and so I gave it back to him.

Happily he walked backwards out of the room looking up at me all the while.

As he left the room, he said, "Bye, bye!".

I was struck by his sweet thoughtfulness in thinking of his Daddy while the others ate. It must have been clear to him that one person was missing from the biscuit-fest - and he had not ignored that but had taken the initiative to ensure that his Daddy had a biscuit too. What did he do: he gave his OWN biscuit to me.

His sweetness and consideration, at such a young age, are not all that common. Many children of his age have yet to learn to think of anyone but themselves. To do so, requires that the child understand other people's situation and to be concerned about it: both skills and attitudes are usually lacking at that age.

It is warming to have a son who would actually think of his father's needs - and do something about them.

What a sweet boy: the littlest waiter in the world.

(If you would like to read more about Tiarnan, fifteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and four months, or Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Tiarnan, the Defiant

Tiarnan is fourteen months old, with two elder siblings. It is that fact that I wish to consider. How does Tiarnan deal with having two, older, larger brothers?

I will look at the situation through the lens of a single behaviour. Sometimes, there is competition for toys - who plays with what when - between Fintan and Tiarnan, since they are quite close in age, Fintan being three. Occasionally this will mean that Fintan will snatch a toy off Tiarnan, if he is too impatient to wait, or perceives the toy as "his" and therefore rightfully owned (which may, indeed, be the case). So, what does Tiarnan do, if a toy is taken from him?

Well, recently, in the past few weeks, he has adopted quite an amusing response. After being snatched from, he will run off and get another toy. Then he will come back and brandish it in the face of the snatcher, as if to say: "Well, you can't get this one!" He stands there, diminutive and all defiant: it is both sweet and funny - but interesting for what it says of his developing character. He doesn't bemoan his loss. He doesn't cry. He doesn't kick up a fuss - he just goes off and gets another one - and then challenges the snatcher to do the same to his new toy. There is, in this the sense of an admirably robust and resilient personality developing - one that will not be easily thwarted by the actions of others. I think, from the evidence of his style of play, that Tiarnan will be the sort of person who has the persistence to overcome many challenges and always find a way to bounce back.

(If you would like to read more of Tiarnan, fourteen months, or his gifted brothers, including Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and four months, or Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, baby genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Tiarnan tells mummy how he feels

Yesterday, Syahidah was playing with Fintan and Tiarnan. She looked at Fintan and said: "I love you", to him.

Tiarnan observed this, tilted his head up at his mother and said to her: "I love you".

This recalls the time Tiarnan said as much to me, many months ago...but it was nice to hear it on his lips, for his mother.

There is a warmth in Tiarnan, fourteen months, that is heartening to see: he is a passionate, emotional baby who responds with his heart to the world. In many ways, that is more delightful to see than any measure of intelligence is: for is not goodness of the heart what brings blessings to every life?

(If you would like to read more of Tiarnan, fourteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and four months, and Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

The Chemistry of Charisma

Eight days ago, I saw something both sweet and surprising.

I had brought Ainan to the playground where we live and, instead of playing with the other kids he had set about doing an experiment with the materials to hand in the park area, next to the swings.

Studiously, he attended to the details of his work. I didn't approach closer to see what exactly he was doing, but I knew him well enough to understand that it was The Great Experimenter at work on some investigation or other.

He never looked up once to see what the other kids were up to in the playground, but focussed on his craft. Yet, I was touched to see that, after a few minutes alone with his project, a blond German girl, of the same age as him, left the playground and her friends, to join him. I could see him explain to her what he was doing - and then she began to assist him. The two worked together quite amiably, Ainan quietly directing her efforts. She was still there half an hour later.

It was sweet to see that though he had made no effort to do so, his intensity had drawn the girl to him. There is something charismatic in his manner, that even a young girl can see across a crowded playground.

I think sincerity of purpose is attractive to people of all ages: it has a charisma all of its own - and Ainan has it in plenty. I didn't approach them for fear of disturbing the sense of unity they had achieved, but watched from afar.

It was a beautiful sunset, with my son, at play.

Emotional intelligence in a baby: self-control

Can babies have high emotional intelligence?

Tiarnan Hasyl Cawley is just nine months old yet, today, he showed remarkable self-control.

He was crying in the taxi on the way to visit a friend. My wife, Syahidah Osman Cawley was trying to comfort him when she noted that we were nearing our destination.

"Stop!", she demanded, of the driver.

"OK." Tiarnan answered, unexpectedly, amidst his tears, and stopped crying at once. He had thought Syahidah was asking him to stop crying.

We were stunned. Never had I heard of a baby being able to exhibit such self-control before, as to stop his crying on command, like that. His eyes were still red, his lips still downcast, but fresh tears had stopped flowing, and his face soon unwrinkled and adopted its normal state of repose. It was as if the weather had suddenly cleared, in the midst of the monsoon: utterly surprising.

Self-control is an aspect of emotional intelligence which some adults have not truly mastered - perhaps many of them, in fact. To see it in a baby of nine months was startling - even to us, who have come to expect the surprising in our children.

This observation is an interesting one to set alongside the display of courage of his elder brother Fintan. There is something in common there, I feel. There is a common emotional intelligence at work: this is just a different aspect of the same phenomenon.

For more on Tiarnan Hasyl Cawley's early athleticism, go to:

http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/babies-who-climb-early-athleticism.html

and:

http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/athleticism-in-baby-opens-door-to.html

For a discussion of Tiarnan's very early speech development:

http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/talkative-baby-genius-verbal.html

For Tiarnan's musicality:

http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/09/baby-who-sings-himself-to-sleep.html

For Tiarnan crawling downstairs at eight months (after upstairs at five months):

http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/09/baby-tiarnan-crawls-downstairs.html

If you would like to read about Ainan Celeste Cawley, Tiarnan's scientific child prodigy brother, go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html