Sensitivity in a child.

Fintan is a sensitive boy. He notices matters of feeling where others would see and feel nothing at all. This receptiveness complements, nicely, his adeptness in social skills – indeed, the two seem closely related, to me.

Long ago, so long that I cannot place a time on it (though I will consult with my wife and see if we can pin it down), Fintan was listening to his mother sing songs, to him, one night.

“Mummy,”, he said, his serious voice emerging from the darkness, “Why do you sing sad songs, at night?”

Syahidah was taken aback. “No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”, he said, still serious, indeed, somewhat saddened, it seemed. “Rock a bye baby is a sad song, because the baby falls down.”

He had a point. Syahidah fell silent and decided not to sing that song. I don’t know whether she ever sang it again.

This exchange is so characteristic of Fintan. To my mind, there is a great sweetness in being able to perceive, as Fintan does, the tragedy in a lullaby, or the underlying emotions in any social situation, whether personally witnessed, or described to him, in a story or on a TV: Fintan always sees the feelings at work – and the meanings of it in terms of emotional values.

It occurs to me that these are the kinds of perceptions and skills that no school ever teaches. Indeed, they would probably go unappreciated in any school in the world. No-one cares too much for feeling or its perception. Yet, in truth, such perceptions are of great value: they are what guide us in our relations with the world and they are that on which many a work of art, in any media, is founded. For Fintan to see the world in this way, is a blessing that, I hope, he will fully appreciate when he grows up. The question is: will the world appreciate this gift, in him, or overlook it? Will the wonder why he is moved, when he is so? Will people think him overly sensitive? Will they regard that as an asset, or a burden?

Whatever the world might think of Fintan’s ways, I know him to be blessed. For Fintan sees emotional riches in the world that others cannot see at all. That means that Fintan’s world is more alive, more layered and more meaningful than the world of those who do not see, as he does. That can only be a good thing.

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