On living up to expectations.

Many a time, I have read that so and so a gifted person, hasn’t met with expectations. There is the assumption that having been gifted as a child, they should then continue to “perform” as an adult. Now, of course, many gifted children DO continue to “perform” as adults. They become noted scientists, artists, CEOs, doctors and lawyers – and, indeed, any number of things. However, some lead less obvious lives. It is these that I wish to address.

The primary problem with this observation – that some gifted people don’t seem to “shine” as adults, is that it is a flawed one. It is based on the premise that a gifted person should do what others expect them to. This, however, overlooks one important factor: what does the gifted person WANT to do?

Some want quiet lives, built around a family, with no need to “shake the corridors of power” or strut their stuff in the wider world. Their world is family. Their “success” is in being a good parent. That is what they seek and that is what they find. Now, who is to say that this kind of life is any less meaningful than the obvious lives that everyone expects of the gifted? Indeed, in some ways, a life of family can be more meaningful than any career one cares to speak of. They are to be commended, perhaps even admired, for the love that they have in their lives.

Then again, there is another type of gifted person, who does not “shine” as one might expect. This is the gifted person who chooses not to live a life of sacrifice in pursuit of some great goal, but, instead, chooses to live an indulgent life of pleasure and personal fulfillment. These are people who do what is fun, what is enjoyable and not what society might wish them to. They live for their personal pleasure and not for the enlightenment of the wider world. For them, their greatest pleasures are not in creative pursuit, but more directly sensual ones – their lives are those of “wine, women and song”, quite often, though there may be other ways of living an enjoyable life, too, that they pursue. The point here, is not what particular life they lead, but that it is directed towards what is pleasurable and not what society may regard as most useful, or important.

Now, again, I must note that it is not for society to dictate the values of its gifted people: some will choose family, others will choose pleasure. Relatively few will choose to live a creative life, even among the gifted. You may ask why this is so. Well, the answer is quite obvious, if one pauses to consider what a creative life is like. Firstly, most creative endeavours and individual efforts are not well rewarded, as one of my brothers once opined of my first book: “You would make more money working in McDonald’s”. Perhaps he was right – after all, I have yet to publish it and it took five and a half years of work. Secondly, a creative life involves the sacrifice of all the other types of life that one could choose to lead. It involves giving up so many other choices – choices which, materially speaking, may lead to much easier, more immediately enjoyable lives. To put it bluntly, in the modern world, many creative people are poor – even if they eventually acquire a reputation and respect, the material rewards can be very slow in coming and, when they do come, they most probably do not match the rewards that could have been obtained more easily and predictably doing something else. Thirdly, a creative life usually involves quite a lot of solitude – and that isn’t for everybody. It is far easier to choose a life of partying and socializing…but much harder to choose the life of someone sitting quietly in a room, on their own, with their thoughts. Such a life is only for the select few – indeed, only those who really enjoy solitude would naturally make such a choice. For those who like to be with others, but also like to create, it is hard, indeed, to give up their social whirl, for the solitude of a garret.

Thus, we should not be surprised that some gifted children, do not choose to perform in the way society expects, as adults. There are far easier paths than that of fulfilling society’s expectations, in this respect. There are also, far more immediately rewarding lives to choose, than the ones conventionally expected of the gifted.

In a way, it is strange that society expects all of its gifted people to contribute creatively to the world – for, ask yourself this: how many ordinary people would voluntarily choose a life of solitude and financial restraint, over a life of socializing and personal wealth? Not many, I would think.

Perhaps more gifted people would choose to be adult creators, if it were a more attractive proposition: less solitude, more rewards. The only problem with this, of course, is that the solitude part is non-negotiable if one is to really have the time to create. As for the rest…society should certainly think about supporting its creative people better. The world would have far more poets and artists, if they could afford to make a living at their art. As it is, many potentially creative people, make a pragmatic decision to do something more lucrative – and have a “good life” instead. Is that choice so difficult to understand?

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm/3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Would you trust this man?

We had a strange experience, today, whilst shopping at Low Yat, Kuala Lumpur's answer to Sim Lim Square, Singapore. For those who don't know, Low Yat is Sim Lim on steroids, but with cheaper prices, in some areas. It specializes in all things to do with computers and is a bigger more spacious mall than Sim Lim, but this is probably owing to Singapore's space constraints.

Anyway, we were looking for a computer to buy and so thought to do some shopping around. One man in particular is memorable for reasons no-one would wish to be.

We had asked at several shops, for a particular type of computer. We had listened whilst they spoke of specs and prices, and what they would bundle in free. Then we came to this particular young man. He was Chinese - but then, that wasn't what distinguished him, since about 90% of those who had served us, were also Chinese. No, what distinguished him, was a certain look in his eyes. It was the strangest look - one that tried to be unrevealing, but all seeing at the same time. He was, clearly, appraising us carefully, but, at the same time, guarding his own thoughts, from discernment.

We looked at the computer in front of us, which was the same model as the one we had been looking at - except for one important difference. He tapped out a price on a calculator in front of him. It was 450RM less than the other guy had asked.

"What are the specs?" I asked.

He tapped the screen and up came the specs.

"Has it a graphics card?" I asked.

He nodded in a manner that didn't convince me. "Yes. Got."

"Which one?" I pursued, a little puzzled by what the screen showed, for I saw no mention of a graphics card at all.

"Got.", he said, with another nod.

I pointed at the screen. "It doesn't say it has a graphics card, here."

"Has. I haven't loaded the drivers yet."

"Can it run Adobe Illustrator?"

"Can.", he began, before launching into a spiel. I tuned him out.

Something made me feel uncomfortable and I urged my wife to come away with me.

When we were out of earshot, I turned to her and said: "I don't think that guy can be trusted."

"Yes,", she said, "I got that feeling, too."

It was a strange moment. I had wondered if it was just me, in having that feeling - but my wife had felt it too. There was something both untrustworthy and predatory about the man.

Then, I remembered something that he had said which only confirmed my view. On being asked about Adobe Illustrator, he had said, that "It can run even without a graphics card...because it depends on the processor speed."

Now, that is absolute nonsense. Adobe Illustrator is a graphics intensive programme that needs a considerable graphics capacity - which, in the pc model he was referring to, meant that it would need a graphics card. I saw no evidence that his machine had a graphics card. So, basically, he was trying to offload onto us, a pc that couldn't possibly run the software we wanted to run on it.

There is a lesson in this. I think, often, it is wise to listen to one's instincts, mysterious and primitive as they may seem. For, I felt on edge, the moment I saw his first look upon us. There was, from the beginning, something eminently untrustworthy about the man.

Yet, I am thankful for the lesson he poses - for I learnt that there is value in those primitive instincts, within, even in this modern world. If we hadn't listened to them, we might, at this very moment, have a new pc in our home, that couldn't possibly run the software we need to run.

Once, man lived in a jungle and survived only by daily struggle: in some ways, we still do, it is just that we don't recognize it anymore. Today, however, I did, for one moment, I did - I saw the world with instinctive eyes, and was saved from a modern economic peril: being ripped off.

It was a good lesson.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm/3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/


Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

The irrationality of motorcyclists.

It has always seemed to me that motorcyclists are an irrational bunch: the risks of their pursuit, far outweigh any pleasure they might feel. Yet, today, I have come to understand that Malaysian motorcyclists are even more irrational, than is typical of their kind.

According to the New Straits Times, today, Malaysian motorcyclists are not fond of wearing their helmets. However, what struck me was their pattern of helmet use. Motorcyclists inside cities, tend to use them, whereas motorcyclists on city outskirts or in rural areas, typically did not use them at all. Now, what could be the cause of this peculiar difference?

Rather bizarrely, I thought, it all comes down to "getting caught". The city motorcyclists wore their helmets, not because they feared hitting their heads on concrete at 60 miles per hour...no, it was because they feared getting caught by the police and fined for not wearing one. That is why the motorcyclists living in rural
and less central areas, did not wear them at all: there were very few police and so they were never likely to be caught and fined, for not wearing one. To me, however, this seemed rather mad. Malaysian motorcyclists fear being fined - that is, the loss of money - more than they fear death - the loss of life. This is something I cannot understand. They consider the minor matter of being fined vastly more important than the major matter of not being alive anymore. You see they take significant steps to prevent a fine (they wear their helmets), but, when the risk of a fine goes away, they don't take the same step to prevent their own deaths (they won't wear a helmet, to save their lives).

Thus, it can be said that Malaysian motorcyclists are eminently irrational, in that they give importance to the unimportant, and no value to the invaluable.

How strange.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm/3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/


Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Of beauty and ugliness.

There is a beauty in the apt expression of words. There is a beauty too, in an honest description of childhood - for in a child's mind, much is still beautiful that, by adulthood, seems no longer. I have tried to write of the beauty of the child's world, through my daily glimpses of it, in my own sons. I have tried also to choose words which, though simple, are beautiful in themselves, for how they capture that world.

So, I have been striving to embody some of this beauty, that I see, daily, in my life, on these electronic pages. To some extent, I am sure that I have succeeded - for some of my posts have captured some of the daily wonders that I encounter. It is true, however, that, at other times, I have failed to fully reflect the beauty that I see: my words do not come close to embodying those moments that are most precious - yet, at least, I have tried. Something of those times will, thus, remain for future contemplation.

Now, on the one hand we have my own striving to capture beauty - but on the other hand, I have seen much ugliness on the internet. There are truly a vast horde of stupid, jealous, spiteful people out there in the world. In particular, quite a few of them seem to come from Singapore. I say this because, on the odd forum, here and there, I have seen the most unpleasant of comments, coming from people who almost always have Chinese names, and use terms such as Ang Moh...they also have Singlish phrasing, so I can conclude that they are Singaporean. More than a few of their remarks are highly insulting about me, or members of my family - and, this is what gets me most, THEIR INFORMATION IS ALMOST ALWAYS WRONG. Yet, they spew their spite, and justify their erroneous views with what amounts to lies, on the internet. Oddly, I have seen this kind of behaviour from two nationalities only: Singaporeans, and Americans. The Americans seem to be doing so out of an extreme sense of competitiveness (ie. your son can't possibly be brighter than my son and I am going to do my damndest to prove it...). The Singaporeans are often doing it out of sinocentric racism. It is quite sad to watch what they do, online, to one of their own citizens. Yet, they don't see Ainan as a Singaporean - they see him as a MALAY...and so they feel apart from him. They think him "OTHER" and therefore unworthy of the fellow feeling that citizens of most countries, show to their fellow citizens. Singapore is a country in which anyone who is non-Chinese is never fully integrated, never fully accepted, by the majority (who are, I might point out, Chinese themselves). Indeed, the way the Chinese forum commenters treated our family is one of the big reasons we decided to leave Singapore. There was just no way that I was going to bring my family up in a country which had so much hate of its own people. Why should I subject them to daily racism, when I can easily find another country that will treat them as one of their own? So, we did...

Anyway, for me, the internet is a place of contrasts, therefore. I am making my own personal efforts to create something of lasting beauty - my thoughts on my children's childhood as they grow up - amidst a world of public arenas that are anything but beautiful. It is a strange contrast. You see the medium that allows me to attempt to express the beauty that I see, daily, is also the medium that allows these antagonists to spew their hate, their envy, their misunderstandings and their, lets be blunt, racism.

It is my hope that the beauty that I succeed in capturing, on these virtual pages, will outshine the ugliness that is found, all over the internet. Personally, I would rather a world that did not have such people in it, as I have seen writing rubbish on the net. Their minds are too crude, too uninformed, too dim and too nasty, to be allowed access to the public arena. Yet, there they are. Would it not be a better world were they not to exist? I can't help but feel that they would vanish, if they were readily identifiable on the net. My thoughts, therefore, again turn to the idea of anonymity on the net. I don't feel there should be any. Were everybody to be immediately identifiable, people such as I have seen, would not dare to write the things they do, lest they face libel charges, or other consequences. A net without anonymity would be a much better one, I think.

In the meantime, I hope my words have more power than theirs; that my thoughts have more readers than theirs - that my readers are able to distinguish truth from lies; beauty from ugliness.

Thank you for reading.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm/3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/


Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)