On living up to expectations.

Many a time, I have read that so and so a gifted person, hasn’t met with expectations. There is the assumption that having been gifted as a child, they should then continue to “perform” as an adult. Now, of course, many gifted children DO continue to “perform” as adults. They become noted scientists, artists, CEOs, doctors and lawyers – and, indeed, any number of things. However, some lead less obvious lives. It is these that I wish to address.

The primary problem with this observation – that some gifted people don’t seem to “shine” as adults, is that it is a flawed one. It is based on the premise that a gifted person should do what others expect them to. This, however, overlooks one important factor: what does the gifted person WANT to do?

Some want quiet lives, built around a family, with no need to “shake the corridors of power” or strut their stuff in the wider world. Their world is family. Their “success” is in being a good parent. That is what they seek and that is what they find. Now, who is to say that this kind of life is any less meaningful than the obvious lives that everyone expects of the gifted? Indeed, in some ways, a life of family can be more meaningful than any career one cares to speak of. They are to be commended, perhaps even admired, for the love that they have in their lives.

Then again, there is another type of gifted person, who does not “shine” as one might expect. This is the gifted person who chooses not to live a life of sacrifice in pursuit of some great goal, but, instead, chooses to live an indulgent life of pleasure and personal fulfillment. These are people who do what is fun, what is enjoyable and not what society might wish them to. They live for their personal pleasure and not for the enlightenment of the wider world. For them, their greatest pleasures are not in creative pursuit, but more directly sensual ones – their lives are those of “wine, women and song”, quite often, though there may be other ways of living an enjoyable life, too, that they pursue. The point here, is not what particular life they lead, but that it is directed towards what is pleasurable and not what society may regard as most useful, or important.

Now, again, I must note that it is not for society to dictate the values of its gifted people: some will choose family, others will choose pleasure. Relatively few will choose to live a creative life, even among the gifted. You may ask why this is so. Well, the answer is quite obvious, if one pauses to consider what a creative life is like. Firstly, most creative endeavours and individual efforts are not well rewarded, as one of my brothers once opined of my first book: “You would make more money working in McDonald’s”. Perhaps he was right – after all, I have yet to publish it and it took five and a half years of work. Secondly, a creative life involves the sacrifice of all the other types of life that one could choose to lead. It involves giving up so many other choices – choices which, materially speaking, may lead to much easier, more immediately enjoyable lives. To put it bluntly, in the modern world, many creative people are poor – even if they eventually acquire a reputation and respect, the material rewards can be very slow in coming and, when they do come, they most probably do not match the rewards that could have been obtained more easily and predictably doing something else. Thirdly, a creative life usually involves quite a lot of solitude – and that isn’t for everybody. It is far easier to choose a life of partying and socializing…but much harder to choose the life of someone sitting quietly in a room, on their own, with their thoughts. Such a life is only for the select few – indeed, only those who really enjoy solitude would naturally make such a choice. For those who like to be with others, but also like to create, it is hard, indeed, to give up their social whirl, for the solitude of a garret.

Thus, we should not be surprised that some gifted children, do not choose to perform in the way society expects, as adults. There are far easier paths than that of fulfilling society’s expectations, in this respect. There are also, far more immediately rewarding lives to choose, than the ones conventionally expected of the gifted.

In a way, it is strange that society expects all of its gifted people to contribute creatively to the world – for, ask yourself this: how many ordinary people would voluntarily choose a life of solitude and financial restraint, over a life of socializing and personal wealth? Not many, I would think.

Perhaps more gifted people would choose to be adult creators, if it were a more attractive proposition: less solitude, more rewards. The only problem with this, of course, is that the solitude part is non-negotiable if one is to really have the time to create. As for the rest…society should certainly think about supporting its creative people better. The world would have far more poets and artists, if they could afford to make a living at their art. As it is, many potentially creative people, make a pragmatic decision to do something more lucrative – and have a “good life” instead. Is that choice so difficult to understand?

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

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On intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.

It puzzles me how often the parents of gifted children are assailed with the accusation of being "pushy" parents. I marvel at the essential incomprehension of the gifted situation this reveals. To be brief, it is impossible to push a child to exceed their limits and achieve something that is not in them.

A gifted child is not pushed into being a gifted child. It is an innate condition, as inherent as the colour of their eyes. It is absurd to accuse the parents of somehow creating this situation by being demanding. Yet, so often, the parents of gifted children hear this assumption wielded in their general direction.

There is a failure to understand the need for intrinsic - and not extrinsic - motivation when it comes to a gifted child, particularly a prodigious one. It is absolutely impossible, in my opinion, to create a prodigious child from one who is not naturally given to be so. The mental qualities of such a child are either in the child or not. One particular quality that must be present, if anything worthwhile is to be achieved, is that of intrinsic motivation. By this, I mean that the child must be motivated, of their own accord, to seek understanding of the subject matter of their interest. The drive to learn must come from the child. I see no real possibility of a prodigious child coming out of an extrinsic learning situation, in which the motivation to learn comes from external factors. So, I think it impossible that a parent (the extrinsic factor) could ever drive a child to become prodigious. The child must already be becoming prodigious of their own accord, driven by their own intrinsic motivations and founded on their own inherent abilities.

It is clear that those who accuse the parents of prodigies of being pushy, actually know nothing about prodigies. If they did, they would understand that it is the child, in such a situation, who does the driving.

Ainan often bugs me to do something with him. It is not what you might imagine. It is not bugging me to get him a toy, or play a game with him. He bugs me to get me to sit down with him and teach him science. He nags me to provide him with scientific stimulation. Anyone who had ever witnessed this, would, at once, have a rather different view of the origin of prodigies and gifted children, than is commonly - and wrongly - supposed. The secret of a child's gift, is in the child themselves. Their gift emerges from their own innate nature. It is not imposed on them from without. They are not a "tabula rasa". They have certain gifts and predispositions at birth and these are fostered by the child themselves, if they are truly destined to become something special. The parent can only provide what the child makes clear, by their actions, nature and requests, that they need. The rest, largely, is up to the child themselves. They must have the ability within them, to excel, but they must also have the drive to do so. It must be something that they really want for themselves. It cannot be imposed on them from without.

Thus, the model many people have in their minds of a gifted child moulded by "pushy parents" into becoming something that they otherwise would never have been is utter nonsense. It is, in fact, an impossibility. If the child is not intrinsically motivated to tread the path that has been chosen, there is no way on earth that they are going to be able to do so. Extrinsic motivations are never going to be strong enough to create the kind of child we come to know as a prodigy. Nor, I would suggest, are they strong enough to engender a gifted child of any kind. There is a reason why a child is called "gifted" - and that is because it is as if a special quality has been bestowed on them, at conception. They are in possession of a gift. It is not something that can be imposed from without, by force of will. It is there, or it is not. The child has received a gift, at conception, or they have not.

Rather than continuing to misunderstand the parents of gifted children, society would do better to enquire what those parents need for their children, to give them what they most require, to take them where they should go and become what they should be.

All parents have a great responsibility to the future of our society. I would suggest that the parents of gifted children have a greater responsibility given the potential of their charges. It seems a pity to assail them with misunderstandings instead of trying to help them do the best they can to ensure that the potential of their children, becomes something actual - for the betterment of the child, and of society as a whole.

So, the next time you hear someone speak of pushy parents, remember my words and explain to them that, without intrinsic motivation, a child could never achieve anything worthwhile at all. So, if the child has achieved something, it is because it is in them to do so. It wasn't put there, from without.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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