The downside of eternal youth.

There is a downside to eternal youth that is little spoken of: it does strange things to people's perceptions.

Today, Ainan, my wife, and I went to an educational fair. We were just exploring possibilities for Ainan for further tertiary education beyond Singapore Polytechnic. I shall discuss the visit more fully in another post. However, I wish to relate something funny which happened while we were there.

I was asking about University options, of one man and he looked past me to where I thought Ainan would be standing.

"Would that be for your daughter?", he asked.

Now, I thought, to myself, I know Ainan is handsome to the point of being pretty, but he was, after all dressed as a boy. Then something made me track his gaze and look where he was looking. There, in his line of sight, stood my wife.

All, at once, I felt very silly, in an uncomfortable way. This man thought my wife, to be my daughter.

"No. It is for him." I countered, pointing at my young son.

"For him?", now it was his turn to be non-plussed.

"Yes."

"How old is he?"

"Nine."

There was a silence while he contemplated this incredible number.

I then found myself having to explain Ainan's educational history to him.

That was not the only time, today, that my wife was referred to as my daughter. In fact, by the time we left, this assumption was getting to be a bit of a habit of the Professors, and other representatives of Universities. Each time, I found myself watching wonder cross their faces as first I pointed to my son, and then explained that my "daughter" was actually my wife.

Now, lest you begin to worry about my aged appearance, it is not me who looks old, but my wife who looks young. You see, the oddest thing about her is that she hasn't changed in the thirteen years I have known her. She looks as youthful as the day we met.

Many people would think of this agelessness as a wonderful thing - and, in a way, it is. However, there is a downside to eternal youth, if only visited on one partner, and not the other. As time passes, we seem to draw apart in age. I have "matured" and now no longer look as fresh as I once did - though most judge me younger than my years. My wife, on the other hand, hasn't changed at all, in all those years. Thus the apparent age gap between us has grown. Indeed, so much so, that only the other day, Syahidah was approached by a modelling agent who wanted to represent her, but was concerned that she might not be old enough to be represented! (She would have to have reached her "majority").

Time has passed for me, but has not for her, at least, it seems so, to the eye. She is, now, as I remember to her to have been, when we first met. The pity of it is, I am not. I am not, however, displeased with either the way I look, or the way she does. It is just that I see, now, incomprehension, in the eyes of others, as they see this "strange couple". It is funny how a simple matter like not changing can, over time, produce such puzzled reactions. After all, the true age gap between us remains unchanged. That gap is not great and is quite common. However, the apparent age gap is now what causes confusion.

It has occurred to me that if my wife's appearance continues to remain unchanged that the day will come when people refer to her as my "grand-daughter". Should that ever occur, I don't think I will bother to explain - for no-one would believe the truth: even now, they doubt it. But what can I do? I am actually telling them the truth!

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

Where sympathy is a crime.

In Singapore, sympathy is a crime. At least, it seems so, from the way posters respond to me whenever I express sympathy for the plight of anyone, at all. I find this both revealing and perturbing. It reveals the Singaporean psyche - such as it is - and perturbs all who understand what is laid bare.

Recently, I have written with sympathy of David Hartanto Widjaja, Zhou Zheng and Dr. Allan Ooi: they all share one common bond - the manner of their deaths. Their suicides have brought them together in a way that life did not, for I doubt that they knew each other. Yet, in death, they are one: the Singapore suicides.

Now, my posts on the pressures that led to their deaths attracted a response that I should have expected, but didn't. Many of the respondents were quite harsh. They blamed the victims. They called them (in some places on the net): "losers", for killing themselves. They were looked down upon for their "weakness". In all, the general thrust of the comments was most unforgiving, not at all sympathetic and altogether rather cold. The impression was left that Singaporeans are a heartless lot, without feeling for their fellow humans - indeed, without any care for them at all. To me, this observation is a greater tragedy than the deaths of the three young men. It is tragic that Singaporeans should care so little for each other that the manner of these deaths should not inspire any sympathy. One begins to understand why, living in this heartless, cold, uncaring society, that three young men would decide to kill themselves. Surely, life, in some quarters in this city, cannot be very pleasant, when one is surrounded by such heartless, unfeeling people.

Another thing that surprised me about the comments I received and read on other sites on the web, is that some of the commenters are noted for their intelligence. They are relatively well-known writers on the net and have, in the past, seemed intelligent on quite a few topics. Yet, on the subject of these recent suicides they are blunt, dismissive, unmoved, unfeeling and uncaring. Quite simply, they react as if at the passing of three cockroaches, rather than three intelligent young people. I found this rather perturbing, for it indicates that in the Singaporean "elite" there is a lack of feeling for one's fellow man. In its place there is cold reason.

This observation of mine is not one based on one instance. It is based on the fact that EVERYTIME I am sympathetic towards someone or something, on the net, I get coldhearted, uncaring and even nasty comments. It happened when Nordin bin Mondong climbed into the tiger enclosure, too. I find this really rather concerning. It indicates that Singaporeans have never really learnt the value of the lives of others. They have never really learnt to appreciate the general concept that life itself is valuable and that each of us is uniquely precious. They have, in its place, a detachment from each other - and a disregard for the fate of their fellows. In particular, they don't care for those who "couldn't cope", those who were overwhelmed by the stresses of this society. There is the general opinion that they were "weak" and therefore deserving of their fates. There is no sympathy, here, for those more sensitive than ourselves. Indeed, sensitivity, as a characteristic, is seemingly despised.

As an outsider, I see a society that has lost sight of what matters. People matter. Lives matter. Money doesn't. Yet, in Singapore it is the latter that matters, and the former which are undervalued.

There is also a general lack of insight from the respondents concerning the causes of the suicides. They never look at themselves and their society to see if it could be to blame, they always blame the victims, instead. In Singapore, the victim is always at fault - for Singapore is a thing of blameless perfection and flawless wonder that could not possibly have played a part.

Well, it is clear to me, as an outsider, that were Singapore a kinder, warmer, more human society, that none of those three men would have killed themselves. It is the very harshness of the Singaporean people before human sensitivity, that led to their deaths. It is also that very harshness they show in response to those deaths.

The funny part of this is, of course, that when anything befalls the coldhearted respondents, no-one around them will give a damn - and so they will come to know what it feels, to have done to themselves, what they have so often done to others.

I shall continue to be sympathetic to those on whom misfortune or too much of life's pain has fallen. No doubt, my commenters shall continue to be unsympathetic and heartless, too.

I am not going to change my outlook simply because the people around me don't share it. It is important to retain one's deeper humanity, even if the society in which one lives has lost its - or never really known it.

Singapore has yet to learn what to value. At present, they have selected the wrong things to worship. Here, Mammon is God - and, in all else, they are unbelievers.

Perhaps it would take the fall of Mammon (which might be happening) to wake them up to more meaningful aspects of life.

However, it will not be until there is a flood of shared sympathy, when I post, again, on something unfortunate, that I will finally know that Singapore has matured to become fully human. Until then, sympathy shall, no doubt, remain a crime.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

The morality of rumours.

Rumours are a moral dilemma. That is, to receive a rumour puts the recipient in a moral quandary. The question is: should I pass on the rumour or not?

Well, the answer to this is always no. The reason why it should always be no, is that the recipient of the rumour is unlikely to have the necessary inside information to determine whether or not the rumour is true or not. If the rumour is NOT true, then to pass it on, is to commit slander, if negative. No moral person could, therefore, pass on a rumour in all good conscience.

The funny thing is, however, that most people spread rumours reflexively, without even thinking about where the information came from, or whether it was just a malicious lie sent spinning out into the world, by some anonymous jealous or spiteful person. Often, I think, rumours are just that: created to do harm to one that the rumour-monger has taken a dislike to. Like all of us, I have heard some ridiculous rumours in my time. You may have heard the same ones, too (think hamster and film star, for instance). I am pretty certain that the majority of rumours I get to hear are just not true. A moment's thought about them makes them begin to seem very unlikely indeed. We have all, for instance, heard the rumours about happily married film stars or other famous people, who have several children and yet are rumoured to be gay. Our first response to that should be: "That's ludicrous!", but too often, perhaps, in fact, almost all of the time, people pass on such rumours without thinking about their veracity.

Rumours wouldn't spread, at all, if people were either wise, intelligent or both. If they were wise, they would realize that they don't know enough to know whether the rumour is true - and therefore shouldn't in all moral conscience, pass it on. If they were intelligent, they would be smart enough to see through it and know it to be a lie - and again, wouldn't pass it on. However, in this world, the wise and the intelligent are few and the foolish and stupid are many. Thus it is that rumours are passed on, grow and become legends known by all - and yet, unsupported by any evidence, at all.

One can only conclude that rumours thrive on the stupidity of men...or their lack of moral conscience. For it can never be right to spread a negative idea about someone, without knowing it to be true. In fact, it can never be right to spread a negative idea about someone, even if you know it is true. One shouldn't, in brief, use words against the reputations of our fellow humans. To do so, strikes me as a moral failing.

Now, what do I do when I encounter a rumour? Well, firstly I just listen. Then I watch the person who is telling me of it, to see what their attitude is towards it (too often this is a kind of malicious glee). When they have finished, I will then comment on what they have said to see if they have any support to the comment they have just made. On those occasions when I can see some flaw, contradiction or know of contrary evidence, I will let the person know that what they have just said is false. On one occasion, for instance, I was at a dinner party, at which someone said, about a famous person, that they were partial to a particular kind of illegal relationship. My first and immediate response was: "I don't believe it!". I then told them all why I didn't believe it. You see it just wasn't plausible, given the physical shortcomings of the rather old man in question, that this kind of relationship could ever have occurred at all. It was just malicious gossip designed to bring him down, which was being relayed, without any thought about whether it was true, at a rather elevated gathering, at which people should know better. After I had pointed out the absurdity of the situation in question, I saw several people begin to re-appraise their unthinking acceptance of the slur. What surprised me, however, was that they hadn't thought of it themselves.

So, my personal approach to rumours is never to pass one on, to refute those against which I can discern contradictory evidence and to remind those who spread rumours that they have absolutely no way of knowing that there is any truth to what they are saying at all.

However, I am just one voice in a rather big world. Thus, my own little stand against rumour-mongering can only have a minute effect. However, if all who read this begin to take a higher moral stand on the issue of rumours and urge others to do the same, perhaps human discourse can rise above words founded on ill-feeling and begin to speak of certain truths to each other.

That would be an immeasurable improvement over what often passes for conversation, these days. Indeed, the modern conversation is often nothing but a series of rumours stuck end to end. I rather hope to see the end of such conversations. There are more fruitful ways to speak about the world. I only hope people make the effort to adopt them.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

The Dr. Allan Ooi Act.

Perhaps, it is time for a Dr. Allan Ooi Act, in Singapore. I shall explain.

As many of my readers will know, Dr. Allan Ooi was a Singaporean doctor working for the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) on a bond. This was a legal restraint of his right to do anything else but work for the SAF. He had no freedom to do so, until his bond had expired. The problem, for him, was that the bond, originally twelve years long, had been extended to fifteen or sixteen years - and then made unbreakable - meaning he had no escape option, under any circumstances. Dr. Allan Ooi killed himself to escape his bond.

In many countries, the tradition is to name new laws after the people whose lives inspired those laws. Perhaps, in Singapore, there could be a new law called the Dr. Allan Ooi Act, which could either outlaw the practise of bonding entirely, or restrict its scope so that bonds are short-term affairs, with get out clauses so that anyone can leave the bond by fulfilling certain requirements which must not be impossible or too onerous.

Dr. Allan Ooi took his own life, because he could see no other way out of the living hell he faced. He hated his job and the life it gave him, but was bonded to it, for what must have seemed a lifetime. No-one should have to face such a life again. It is time to change the law: let there be a Dr. Allan Ooi Act to bring humanity into Singaporean employment law.

Dr. Allan Ooi could not have made the point of his distress clearer. Let us listen to the message of his short life and change the law, to make Singapore a kinder place in which to work. Let not his short life, have been in vain.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

End the practise of bonding.

Singapore has very strange employment practises. One of them is called "bonding". This is slavery that comes in two flavours: a scholarship with a "bond" and a job with a bond.

Now, I am aware that I shall have to explain the concept of bonding for those who reside in countries that abolished slavery a century or two ago. Singapore has yet to understand the value of a free people.

In Singapore, many people find themselves tied down to jobs or situations that they don't want to be in. Yet, they have no choice but to continue for periods which really can be quite long. If they try to escape these "bonds", they will find themselves financially ruined - thus they labour on, unhappily, in what amounts to bonded servitude, without any freedom to leave their position.

In Singapore, youngsters, who are really too young to understand what they are getting into, are often offered "bonded" scholarships. These are scholarships with a big sting in the tale. For the privilege of receiving tuition fees and the like paid (which in many countries would be free anyway), they have to serve a number of years with an organization, thereafter. They have no choice, in this job, once they accept the scholarship: they must do it, or else.

In Singapore, people in the job market often encounter a job contract with a "bond" attached. This means that once you sign, you cannot leave that company for a certain period. You have no choice but to continue, unless you wish to pay ruinous financial penalties. So, if you stay you might be very unhappy, with your work circumstances, if you leave, you will be very unhappy with the "fine" you have to pay.

I must say it is really all quite evil.

Now, I have brought up the matter of bonding in Singapore for a reason. There has been yet another high profile suicide among Singapore's academic elite. Dr. Allan Ooi, killed himself, to escape his bond with the Singapore Armed Forces. That is right: his bond was such an onerous burden upon him that he would rather be DEAD than complete the term of his servitude.

Singapore has really got a lot to learn about treating humans like, well, humans.

Dr. Allan Ooi committed suicide, according to his suicide email, sent 24 hours after his death, largely because of his awful job at the SAF. "My job was terrible, no joy, no satisfaction" he wrote. That was bad enough. However, what sent him over the edge, it seems, from his own words, was that his TWELVE YEAR BOND was extended to FIFTEEN OR SIXTEEN YEARS, then "UNBREAKABLE". It seems clear that his employer, the Singaporean government in the shape of the Armed Forces, was treating him as a possession and not as a human being. Well, this particular "possession" didn't want to be possessed - and so killed himself to escape being possessed.

The worst part of this case was the way the media tried to lie about it. They painted him in various ways and none of them remotely reflected the truth of his suicide letter. They even portrayed him, in some quarters, as broken hearted! Other suggestions included excessive online wargaming and addiction to gambling - none of which is true. It is really more than a little disturbing that the local media should rush in to smear a dead man's name, just to protect the image of a "terrible" employer - the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF).

Bonding treats human beings as possessions to be used and abused. It is nothing but slavery renamed. It should be stopped. No civilized country practices this procedure, nor especially would they condone the way it is used in Singapore: to remove choice from human beings. In Singapore, people are often placed in terrible employment situations from which there is no escape, because they are bonded to their jobs. I, too, have been offered bonds but have always declined jobs that come with such conditions.

I think it is no coincidence that Singapore has had this rash of recent suicides among the brighter of its people. Quite simply, many people are suffering, in their own, individual ways, in this state, largely because there is too little regard for people, in Singapore's institutions. Employers and Universities alike have, the evidence suggests, created circumstances that have not considered the frailties and vulnerabilities that many people have. In Singapore, human beings are outlawed: only robots are required. If you are not robotic enough, you will just have to suffer in silence, until one day, you crack as, recently, David Hartanto Widjaja, Zhou Zheng and, now, Dr. Allan Ooi did.

None of these deaths were necessary. All of them would have been prevented if the institutions in question had been a little more humane. In one case, if a scholarship had not been withdrawn, one scholar would probably be alive. In another, if a bond had not been extended, a young Doctor would still be alive (he was only 27). I have no information on Zhou Zheng and so cannot say why he died. These are not inevitable causes of death. A little more kindness would have prevented these suicides.

The justification for bonding is all one-sided: the organization that paid the scholarship wants to ensure that it is "reimbursed" by enforcing a certain number of years labour from the scholar. Yet, if the experience of working for them is unbearable, the scholar has no escape. In the case of Dr. Allan Ooi, his only escape from the terrible existence he faced was death itself.

Good organizations don't need to bond their scholars. If an organization is good to work for, scholars will voluntarily stay with the organization. It is only BAD organizations that need to use this kind of force. Clearly one can come to some sort of conclusion about an organization that needs to extend a 12 year bond to 15 or 16. Perhaps no-one wants to be a doctor with the SAF voluntarily. They could remedy that, by becoming a pleasant place to work. It really is quite simple.

I rather hope that Dr. Allan Ooi's death will lead to a reassessment of the practise of bonding. It is time Singapore caught up the developed world and accepted the general concept of VOLUNTARY labour. Slave labour should play no role in the employment landscape of Singapore: that it does, is a matter of great national shame.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

Barack Obama and the video store.

Sometimes, serendipity seems almost wise in what it presents to us.

Today, I came upon a most serendipitous sight. I was browsing in a video store, when I saw a video entitled "Barack Obama" in bold letters, with the subtitle: "The man and his journey". He seemed rather happy with himself, on the front cover, as you might expect. I was amused, however, at the video next to Barack Obama. It was entitled, "The Mesmerist". So, if you read left to right across the video shelves, it went: "Barack Obama, The Mesmerist". How funny and how telling, for what is he not, but a mesmerist who has captivated the mind of America and the world beyond?

There is something hypnotic about his presence on the stage, something that makes you think that what is being said is significant in the way Great Men say things of significance - and yet, when you look at the words, alone, when he is no longer there to say them, they seem pallid things of little strength and meaning. What we are witnessing, of course, is Barack Obama's charisma, at work, which invests his every word and every deed, with a seeming significance way beyond its actual import. More than any other President, he seems instinctively to understand the essence of stage presence and how to use it to his advantage.

Barack Obama has perfected the role of the President, as the President is envisaged by Hollywood. He comes across as a mature, solid, stable, reassuring patriarchal figure, the Father to a Nation, a man on whom all can depend. The only problem is, that it is difficult to discern how much of this impression reflects the true nature of the man, and how much is no more true of him, than an actor's characters are true of the actor themselves. It may be that the image Barack Obama projects is as distant from his true self, as that of Anthony Hopkins and Hannibal Lecter - or it may be that he is close to the role he portrays and that much of what we see is truly Barack Obama himself. At this point in time, it is not possible to know which case it might be: we will just have to watch and learn more of him, over time. However, it is true to observe that he has mesmerized his nation. Whether this mesmerism is an act, or comes unbidden from his natural character, the fact remains that he has an essentially hypnotic hold over his nation. In such a state, a nation cannot be expected to clearly assess his actions, words and deeds and judge the true quality of the President they have elected. It will take until the spell has broken, somewhat, and the nation is no longer fully enamoured of him, before they start to see him clearly, as he truly is, rather than as he projects himself to be.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)