The gifted disclosure dilemma.

Often, being gifted feels like a secret. More pointedly, being the parent of a gifted child feels like a rather complicated secret, with many layers of burden.

The big issue for parents of gifted children, is whether to disclose their child’s giftedness to those they encounter socially. You see, the reactions to such knowledge can range widely, from interest, and approval, to shock, envy and open dislike. Often, one cannot judge the reaction, before the news is imparted – so there is ever a dilemma: “Should I tell, or not?”

I generally don’t discuss our lives much, directly, with those who are not close to us. I am typically a little reserved – a listener, more than a talker (though I can talk quite abundantly if I so wish!); a watcher, more than an interlocutor. Again, of course, this can be misunderstood as aloofness, rather than introversion. It seems that everything about the gifted and being gifted, carries its own penalty, if one is not careful to communicate one’s essence, effectively: misunderstanding awaits at every step.

So, being rather quiet, in my own life, I am left to wonder just how quiet I should be on the part of my children, in a social context. Today, for instance, I brought Ainan to a new social group of homeschoolers. The people were very nice. They had a relaxed quality that comes to youngsters brought up at home with their parents, rather than in the conformist, often stressful surroundings of a school. However, there was one question that I didn’t know how to handle, very well.

“What is Ainan studying?”, asked a curious Australian lady, with an encouraging smile.

I wasn’t encouraged, I was a little hesitant.

Should I tell the truth or not? If I did, she might react disappointingly – if I didn’t, I was storing up trouble for later, when she eventually found out.

My words tripped a little on my tongue. “Well… he is at a University, now.”

“What?”, she asked, in a very strange way: she seemed both shocked, and sure she had misheard.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t know whether it was wise to repeat what I had just said.

My silence seemed to answer her.

“Oh.”, she said, as if that said a lot. “I see.”

Again, I didn’t answer her, not knowing how.

It was time for her to pause. I let the silence linger for a while between us.

“Is he the one I read about on the homeschooling website?”, she pursued, more gently now, calmer, perhaps over her shock.

“Yes.”, I said, aloud, “Probably”, I said, to myself, not knowing for sure which article she was referring to.

Then she became very curious and motivated. Something seemed to come alive in her.

“Do you have other children?”, she asked, looking thoughtfully at her own three sons.

“Yes. I have three sons.”

She lowered her voice. “One of my sons, even homeschooling, is obviously more gifted than the others – but I don’t want to focus on just one: how do you cope with that?”

“Give each son what they need. Their needs will usually be different.”

She nodded at that, as if seeing differences in her own children.

“Never compare them. Never say: “Look at your brother, look at what he can do.” If you do that they will hate each other.”

Again she nodded.

“A lot of parents do compare. They think it will goad the others on. It won’t. It is very destructive.”

“I make sure they do different things.”, she revealed.

“It doesn’t have to be different – though it usually is. You just have to make sure you never compare.”

There were other questions, all delivered with the same intensity.

I needed a drink, so I said so.

“Of course, I have more to ask, but I don’t want to keep you.”

Her parting gaze seemed very meaningful and evaluatory. There was much thought in her unvoiced, perhaps many questions unasked and unanswered.

I recognized that look. I have seen it many times before. It comes to people who want to find out how and why Ainan became the way he is. (Or at least, her look seemed like that look.)

The answer, of course, is one that they wouldn’t like very much: the largest part of what made Ainan occurred at the moment of conception, when particular genes from the mother joined up with particular genes from the father. It was this natural endowment that gave him all the potentials we have seen unfold, to date. Without his native gifts, I don’t think it would be possible for any child to do as he has. Still, however, that doesn’t prevent people from asking, from trying to find out some hidden “secret” about what made Ainan, Ainan. Of course, I don’t think I can ever really satisfy them, since there is nothing that can be imparted to them, readily, to magically transform their child, in an instant. Though, I often sense that that is what they are looking for.

I rather regretted my openness with the Australian lady. I felt her attitude change from the casually friendly to the intently interested and it made me uncomfortable: I would prefer it, if she had remained casually friendly. Perhaps some of my discomfort comes from my own quietness of person: I prefer to be left in peace. To speak of Ainan’s particular gifts is to invite a lack of peace into one’s life. Then again, once people know that about him, the way they see him is likely to change. Perhaps they will come to expect certain behaviours from him, certain mannerisms, words and deeds. I don’t think it is fair for him to have such expectations. He should be free to be as he is – a child of eleven – even if one particularly blessed in one particular way.

Maybe I will decide on total silence on the issue, in future social meetings. I might decide on secrecy, as the best policy, moving forward. It seems a pity, however, to have to do that – but, at times, I feel that it is not helpful for people to know that about him, at the outset. Perhaps, they should gradually find out over time, by simple acquaintance and observation of their own. Of course, there would not be a need to even be considering secrecy on the issue, if people could just quietly accept him as he is. More often, however, one sees an elevated interest in finding out ever more about him and what made him the way he is. That, I find discomfiting, largely because it is misplaced interest: they are looking in the wrong place, for his essence. With Ainan, nature is stronger than nurture. That is clear looking back to the beginnings of his life. He was always unusual, right from the very first glance, out of the womb. That is something people consistently fail to understand. I wish they understood that. Then they could go about befriending him, rather than being interested in decoding him.

Up until now, I have been honest and open with people when they ask about what my son is studying and other matters of academic development. However, today’s experience has made me pause to re-evaluate my stance: am I doing the right thing? Should I just give noncommittal, empty replies, that evade the issue? Should I learn to obscure, rather than reveal? Do I risk isolating Ainan by being open about him? Would it be better to be cloaked?

Even these questions are uncomfortable for me, because I am not one to dissemble. Though reserved, I am open when I speak. Yet, witnessing the reactions of people to news of Ainan’s nature does make me think that perhaps I should learn to be a little obfuscatory on the issue. I haven’t tried it, so I don’t know if it would make me more comfortable. It remains to be seen whether I will adopt that stance in future. I shall continue to observe people’s reactions to him and allow that to inform my decision. In the meantime, perhaps readers who have had similar experiences might like to discuss them, with me, in the comments below. Do you think it is better to keep silent about a child’s giftedness, in new social situations – or to be frank and open about it? Does being open risk isolating the gifted child, further? Is it better for the child to be accepted for what people come to see them as, rather than viewed in a certain way, because of what they learn of them, at the outset?

Your views, thoughts and feelings below, please…

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.htmland here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Where all the artists go.

I had an interesting conversation with a local businessman in Malaysia, the other day. He is in the fashion business and thus is an habitual observer of all things related to his passion – and that includes fine art.

My wife is an artist, as some of you will know. He asked her if she intended to make a career of it and make money out of it. She gave a nod and a simple “I do.”

He grew reflective. “Many artists in Malaysia just have one exhibition and then disappear.”, he observed a little tiredly, at the thought. “I think it is just a hobby for them.”

In my view he had understood it precisely wrong. It is not that artists in Malaysia only tinker with their art, as a “hobby”, show it once then disappear. What is happening is much more sad than that. What is happening, it is clear to me from observing the situation and speaking to artists, is that the artists are DISAPPOINTED with the response. What frequently happens with artists in Malaysia is that they hold an exhibition and the response is muted. Perhaps the artist doesn’t sell many pieces. Indeed, usually, I would say they lose money on their exhibition. After all, many spaces here charge a daily fee to exhibit – MAPS, for instance, charges an enormous 1,000 RM per day, for the privilege of showing one’s art. These fees almost ensure that new artists lose considerably, if they decide to exhibit in such galleries/spaces.

In a way, the prompt disappearance of these artists from the art scene, after one show – which is quite common – is a rational decision. The disappointed artist is left with the bitter thought that “there is no money in it” or “they hated my stuff” – and they will never, ever go to the expense, bother and effort of exhibiting again. So the artist disappears and is never heard from again. In this way, I am sure that many good voices never get to sing of their art and their world views – their work is lost to us all, forever.

The problem here is not with the artists, but with the system. The way the art market is organized, makes it difficult for the young artist to establish themselves, without incurring considerable cost – or without being deeply disappointed. What is needed is some public art spaces, which are open to newcomers – but which are FREE to hire. This public subsidy for young artists, will ensure that these voices do not fall silent prematurely and that they have a chance to reach their ultimate audience. The public can also play a role here. Why not go to exhibitions of young artists, take a look at their works – and, if you like them, buy one or more? You should note that art makes a good long term investment, since, on average, art prices rise faster than property prices – so, not only will you be helping an artist develop a career and give them hope for their futures – but you will be helping to build your own future wealth too, by building a particularly attractive (in many ways) investment portfolio. Were this to be the common response to young artists, Malaysia would have a much more vibrant art culture than it does. In a way, the depth of art in a nation is precisely related to the willingness of the people to buy it, when the artists are young and starting out. If Malaysian art is shallower than it need be, it is only because the people wait a little too long, too often, to appreciate the outpourings of creativity of their young artists. If not supported at the beginning, there will, most often, be a swift end to such nascent careers.

Part of the problem, perhaps, is the local obsession with “branding”. I note, for instance, that older, establish artists, in a recent Henry Butcher auction, commanded prices up to 1 million Ringgits per piece of work. These are healthy prices and it is good to see local investors supporting such venerable names. However, it seems clear from the phenomenon of disappearing young artists, that the same support is not there, often, for those just starting out in their art careers. Thus it is that the pipeline from first show to venerable, brand name status, is not being properly supported. So it is that many artists fall silent.

The most important stage at which to support an artist, by buying their work, is at the beginning – for that will encourage them to continue. That is also the time to buy to realize the highest long term gains. So, seek out young artists, and invest in their work – you are not only investing in your own financial future, but in the future of the nation’s culture, itself.

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.htmland here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Should presidential candidates have IQ tests?

My provocative opening question is not without reason. I am led to wonder whether Presidential or Prime Ministerial candidates should be forced to undergo IQ tests, before running for office, worldwide. This would ensure that unhelpfully dumb candidates did not get elected based on their charm, charisma, good looks, sonorous voice and popular appeal, alone. Those characteristics, whilst admirable in an actor, do not aid performance in decision making at the helm of a nation - they just make one look good whilst doing it.

This question came to mind after stumbling on some videos of President Obama "speaking", without a teleprompter. This is quite something to watch. He is totally incoherent, the words appearing randomized, without meaning in relation to each other - a stuttering, stumbling, rambling mess. I was shocked. I have never, actually, seen a poorer example of spontaneous speech than the videos of Obama on Youtube, speaking without a teleprompter, on asthma treatment, at a town hall. He quite obviously has no idea at all what he is talking about or what he should be saying. Without the teleprompter - which had failed - he is unable to construct a coherent thought. In the video he is seen to make excuses, saying he hadn't been sleeping much. It is quite sad - and shocking to watch.

Now I must say at this point, that I know very little about American politics, not having followed it closely. I also have no real interest in it. So my pointing out that Obama has trouble speaking without a teleprompter, should not be seen as a political statement. I have no wish to have any influence on American politics. I am just drawing your attention to a remarkable inability to speak spontaneously of a US President. Personally, this is not what I expected to see. I expected much more polish, skill and fluency from President Obama, than that. I suppose, therefore, that I had been influenced by all the image making that surrounds the man. I had not had the chance to see the underlying truth. Well, now I have. It is quietly sobering.

Take a look, if you will at the videos on Youtube that show Obama's propensity for verbal clumsiness and mistaken utterances. Try searching for "Obama without a teleprompter", and "Obama Gaffe Mania". The latter is a compilation of errors which are quite wide ranging in type and subject matter. They show that President Obama has great weaknesses in many areas.

Now, you will no doubt recall that President Bush (the last one), was frequently accused of being dumb. He also made quite a few errors in public, which gave the impression that he wasn't the brightest of the bright. So, my remarks do not just apply to President Obama, but Presidents in general. The question is: how bright should a President be?

I would suggest that a President should be bright enough to be able to understand all the issues put to him, for a decision to be made. A President should also be able to speak spontaneously, without script writers, on any subject pertaining to the ruling of a nation. Thus, a President should be well-informed, bright and capable of speaking clearly and thinking effectively. The gaffes, by President Obama, do not show these qualities. One of them, for instance, speaks of him being able to see many fallen heroes in the audience today. Thus it is that President Obama doesn't know that a fallen hero is a dead person. At least, his tongue doesn't know. This kind of statement does not encourage the belief that President Obama is an intelligent man. However, as I have said, there are other former Presidents, too, who were of questionable intellect.

It seems to me, that a minimal acceptable IQ for a President or Prime Minister, might be 130. That is two standard deviations above the mean for a Caucasian group and at the lower margin of "moderately gifted". One person in forty four has such an IQ, in Western nations. That doesn't seem too stringent, nor does it seem too light a requirement. Basically, such a person, as a child, would typically be the brightest person in the class, of an ordinary school. That should be the minimum intelligence for a candidate for high office. Anything less, risks the election of someone who cannot understand deeply enough the nuances of the decisions they have to make.

It is said, by some researchers, that a leader should not be more than 30 IQ points above the led, if they are to communicate effectively with them. This is an unfortunate constraint since it works directly against the ability of leaders to understand the issues they must grapple with. However, my proposed threshold of 130 is on that limit and is, therefore, still within the optimal range for effective leadership. Furthermore, it seems to me, that higher IQs than that would have the benefit of better decision making, which might overcome any decrement in the ability to lead through effective communication to the masses.

What is President Obama's IQ? I have no idea. However, I would be utterly unsurprised if it were considerably below my suggested cut off. The same applies to former President George Bush, of course. It seems to me that America would be better off with brighter Presidents than it has been its habit to elect. My proposed requirement for a decent IQ, in political candidates for high office, would ensure that politicians, in high office, at least, had the mental wherewithal to make informed decisions.

Do you agree? Do you think politicians should be forced to undergo publicly declared IQ tests? Would this improve the quality of political life, the world over? Or would it be unfair in some way, to require political figures to be at least moderately smart? Please give me your thoughts below.

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.htmland here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)