A little old man.

Tiarnan is just five years old. Yet, at times, he seems like a little old man.

A couple of days ago, I was working, to a self-imposed deadline, on some project or other. It was night and my sons were waiting for me to put them to bed. The door to my “office” creaked open. In came my littlest boy: Tiarnan.

“We have waited SO long for you...”, he began, in an exasperated tone, his little face peering up at me with a certain degree of pique. Tiarnan, as you may know, is rather emotional and does “pique” rather well (and all other emotional states, for that matter). It is almost as if his emotions have been concentrated, in his small frame, by having such a small space to exist in. He is like one of those cunning little chillis, that look so small and unassuming but which have the capacity to burn through your mouth in an instant.

I looked down at him, not answering for the time being, my thoughts still on my project.

“Would you do that to your friend?”, he enquired, his eyebrows raised. “No!”, he answered, for me. “So don’t do it to us!”, he scolded at last.

His words seemed so out of place, on his diminutive tongue, supported by his modest, elfin frame. It was as if an old man had possessed him and given him the attitude and demeanour of a peeved 80 year old.

His words impressed me out of my chair. I rose, took his hand and led him to his room. Then, I read my sons a few stories and settled them down to sleep.

As I left them asleep, I couldn’t help but wonder at the social maturity of my youngest son. He clearly understood social norms of behaviour very well and knew how a person should normally conduct himself. The wonder of it was, how he had come to such an understanding, with so little time in the world, to do so. Was this an instinctual thing with him? Or was he able to derive social rules, quickly, on little information? Or was he just projecting himself into the world and judging the actions of others based on what he, himself, would do? There was no telling which it was. I knew only this: my littlest boy was not such a little boy inside his head. There is an understanding, in him, beyond his years, for many things, particularly about people and how they are or should be. It is strange to say it, but this premature wisdom gives him a great charm – for his words and observations seem so unaccountably out of place, that they draw attention to themselves. To hear something said by such a little person is, oddly, to give it great weight. We heed most, what we least expect to hear.

Tiarnan’s words did prompt me to reflect on my own actions. I hadn’t kept him waiting for long – perhaps fifteen minutes – which doesn’t seem long to me – but to him, it was far too long.

Maybe he is right. Perhaps I should attend to them, first, and set aside whatever else it is I am doing. In their world, brief times seem very long indeed.

Sorry Tiarnan. Next time, you won’t have to wait for Daddy.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

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Tiarnan on moral complexity.

Last month, Tiarnan, three, at the time, was talking to his mother about character. He stood still before his mother, with his customary serious expression on his face, when he is about to mention something of significance. It gave him a presence that demanded attention - so Syahidah duly gave it to him.

"Mummy, you shouldn't always choose the good guy, because sometimes the good guy can be bad, and the bad guy can be good."

It was an interesting comment, for it showed that Tiarnan's understanding of morality and character had gone beyond black and white, and now incorporated every shade of grey, too. For him, character was not clearcut, anymore: there were ambiguities and blurrings of categories. To me, this seems a sign of a maturing grasp of the nature of people - for no-one is perfectly one thing or another, but a blend, instead, of various dispositions. Tiarnan has come to understand that, already.

Seeing childhood, from the outside, as I do, as a parent, it amazes me how quickly, very young children come to understand the world, when you consider how little time they have had to do so. They seem to come an insight of what it is all about upon very little exposure indeed. It seems to me that they are better able to do this, than a typical adult: ie. come to an understanding based on little information. Young children, in my experience, do this very well.

In a way, this is very revealing, because it goes beyond the world view that Hollywood would have little children believe: that of the pure good guy and bad guy division. Tiarnan has seen much Hollywood fare...but he has also been observing the world itself. His conclusion is clear: all is not clearcut, the world is not black and white, but grey. It is, I feel, a step towards a maturer understanding of the social world.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Reserved silence and social maturity

I had the privilege to observe Ainan, yesterday, in an impromptu classroom situation.

It was at a Science Show in the Mall event. These are events put on by the Science Centre and ASTAR - Singapore's Agency for Science Technology and Research (I think that is how it goes).

It was an all afternoon affair, but it was the end of it, that drew my attention.

Ainan sat with perhaps 50 other kids, listening to the presenters who were asking scientific questions of the audience. At every question, one, two or three kids would raise their hands, their faces straining to be the one chosen to answer. Ainan, however, was much cooler than that. He sat, with his mother and, instead of raising his arm would lean over to her and relay the answer to her.

I was some distance away but I could read the answers on his lips. Then another child would be chosen to answer. They would go up, answer the question into a mike, then receive a prize. Ainan, however, didn't rise to this particular bait - prize or no prize, he never let his arm rise into the air. He just leant over and answered each of the perhaps twenty questions to his mother. He made no effort to draw the presenters attention to himself, he didn't shout out an answer nor raise his arm.

I thought this very revealing. It seems that Ainan has learnt the social value of discretion. What benefit would come to him from answering all the questions? He would learn nothing more - but he might alienate the other children. So, what did he do instead? He answered none of them publicly - yet I could see that he knew the answers. He was taking a more discrete path.

I found myself impressed by this. It seems that he has acquired a certain social wisdom in the past year. He has learnt that it is better to be discrete than to shout out one's knowledge. He is more likely to have friends that way, and more likely to be accepted. He has, it seems, no need for the ego boost that comes from being seen to be the one who knows. He, instead, prefers to know that he knows - and to let his mother know, too. That is enough for him.

Ainan is, it seems, learning how to adjust to the social world rather more effectively than I had hoped. Relatively few gifted children learn to be this discrete, so early on - after all Ainan is yet only 7. It is a hopeful sign, therefore, that he will be able to navigate the social issues ahead that he shall no doubt face.

I wonder how many teachers, however, would understand the quiet child, who knows but doesn't show that he knows? Most would misunderstand, of course. Yet, what he would lose from the teacher, he would gain from his fellows: so it might, indeed, be a fair trade. It is no good having one teacher on your side, when to do so, you lose 40 kids. That doesn't seem wise. Ainan has chosen the socially more enriching path. A reserved silence is what one can expect from this particular gifted child in the classroom.

What do you have to do to find out what's on his mind? Have a quiet chat with him, away from the multitude of observers. Then he will let his guard down.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and eleven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and four months, and Tiarnan, twenty-one months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)