Simon Hughes at Cambridge University.

Simon Hughes has been appointed Deputy to Nick Clegg at the Liberal Democrat party, at party level. I find this interesting because it awoke my sole personal memory of Simon Hughes, from long ago, at Cambridge University.

I had attended a talk at which the then leader of the Liberal Democrats, Paddy Ashdown was speaking. Along with him, was Simon Hughes.

Now, a friend of mine had been unable to attend the talk, but, hearing that I was going, he asked me to ask a question for him.

"Mr. Ashdown," I began, after the talk, "I have a question by proxy for you."
At that point, Simon Hughes burst out with a mocking laugh, perhaps even a scornful one. "A question by PROXY," he echoed.

The laugh was clearly intended to be at my expense.

Paddy Ashdown immediately cast a dark, cutting glance that clearly told him to shut up.

Paddy Ashdown, now Lord Ashdown of Norton-sub-Hamdon, duly answered my friend's question.

From that moment forth, however, I never really had a high opinion of Simon Hughes, of his personality (rude), his intelligence (not evident), his wisdom (lacking), his self-awareness (incomplete). Any politician who can actually laugh AT a potential voter, who is asking a serious question, can only be described as a bit of a self-destructive idiot. Now, he is Deputy to Nick Clegg. I only hope that, since then, he has grown up and acquired some respect for others. If not, then he is a very poor and unwise choice for Deputy, in my view. Perhaps Nick Clegg does not know this man's limitations as much as he should. It will be interesting to see if he turns out to have been a good choice, or not.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
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This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission

The privileges of the old.

In Asian societies, traditionally, the old are looked up to - even when they are very short, if you know what I mean. However, do they always deserve this automatic respect? Two days ago, I encountered someone that made me think otherwise.

I was in the queue to get on the morning bus, there being three people in front of me and quite a few behind. Suddenly, someone elbowed me to the left, pushing me to one side, as they thrust forward. I turned to see who it was: to my surprise my eyes alighted on a very elderly woman of, I estimate somewhere between 85 and 95 years old. She looked very fit and spry - but there was something fierce and cold in her face. She didn't look to be a "nice old lady" at all.

I wasn't the only person she pushed out of the way. She pushed past all three people ahead of me, to the front of the queue. All who saw what she had done stared at her - but no-one spoke out. Perhaps they were all mentally making "allowances for her age". Well, I really don't think that any allowance should be made. It was a very simple matter of a rude, ill-mannered, uncouth person who just happened to be elderly.

In the whole incident, the old Chinese lady didn't say a word. She just held her fierce, dark expression on her face and kind of dared anyone to challenge her.

The event had rather an effect on me. Why, I wondered, should such behaviour be allowed, by all in the queue, simply because she was old? What she was doing broke all the social rules - and it wasn't as if she was frail, or anything: she was fit, aggressive and had physically pushed everyone out of the way. Here was an elderly person abusing her status as an old person. She was taking advantage of the Asian tendency to revere the old - to actually misbehave. I wasn't impressed. Her action made me reflect that, perhaps the elderly don't deserve the respect they are automatically given. They don't, necessarily, deserve any more respect than anyone else. They are, most definitely, not certain to be any better than anyone else - and therefore not deserving of a different attitude towards them.

Then again, I wondered, sometime later: what kind of life made this old lady so fierce, so aggressive and so unpleasant to her fellow man? Perhaps far from respecting her, we should pity her the kind of life that engenders the kind of attitude she showed. Surely, there was something wrong with her.

However, her age did save her from my rebuke. Had she been younger, I would have remonstrated with her for the elbow and insisted on her return to the back of the queue. The sight of her silver hair shocked me into silence. I was too busy being surprised to actually do anything about her rudeness.

The next time, however, I would probably speak up - and resist - for it wouldn't be a surprise anymore. It would just be one more rude elderly person who should know better.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

A misplaced sense of entitlement.

Courtesy is a two-way thing - but, oddly, many people seem to think of it as one way only: from others, to them.

Last week, I sat on the bus. When I got on, there were still more seats than people, so I sat on the outside of a double seat, with the inner seat left empty (since I don't like to be trapped inside, when I need to leave).

A few stops later, there were more people than seats, so I rose from my seat, and asked all those standing nearby if they would like to sit down. No-one did. Some shook their heads, others just didn't answer me. So I sat down again.

A few stops later, another group of people got on. A Caucasian woman, whose hair was dyed blonde and whose years were a handful more than mine, spoke in an Australian accent: "Can I sit in there?"

"Yes, of course." I answered, and rose to let her in.

She sat in silence. She didn't thank me.

Unperturbed I confided: "I did ask everyone nearby if they wanted to sit, but no-one did."

She looked out of the window, as if I did not exist.

I shut up.

I went into a reverie, to pass the time and find interest in my thoughts.

After a while, a voice penetrated my thoughts: "Would anyone like to give me a seat?"

The voice was strident, insistent and, again, that of an Australian woman.

She spoke awfully near me, so I looked up. There was a dark-haired Australian woman in her thirties looking down on me. At first, I wondered why she did so, but then I saw her bump: she was pregnant.

I was being asked to give up my seat. I looked briefly at the Australian woman next to me, to whom I had already given a seat. She looked away and out of the window, as if I didn't exist.

"Yes, of course." I said - and rose to let her in.

This new, pregnant Australian woman sat in silence. She didn't thank me, either.

Thus, I stood, without a seat, in the aisle, which was quite an accomplishment since ten minutes before I had had two seats all to myself.

Neither woman looked at me. They behaved as if I didn't exist.

I appraised these Australian women, as if for clues as to their surprising rudeness. Both of them expected courtesy from others - indeed, DEMANDED it - but neither of them was prepared to be courteous to others, in response. Both had secured a seat from me - yet neither had thanked me for doing so. I thought this more than a little rude. It seemed ignorant, too.

I still had the tone of voice of the pregnant woman echoing in my mind: it was such a demanding voice, a voice that said: "It is my RIGHT to have a seat! Now MOVE!" The odd thing is, she had never considered that other people have feelings and they, too, are worthy of respect.

Looking back on it, I think that neither Australian woman deserved a seat. The proper response to them, had I had full knowledge of their characters would have been to have said: "No!". I should then have done as they had done: look out of the window as if they did not exist.

Yet, I had not known. I gave both of them the common level of courtesy and helpfulness I give to all people. That is my way. Yet, sometimes, it seems the wrong thing to do - because sometimes that courtesy is punished by those who receive it. I rather wish I had full knowledge of people so I would know to whom to show respect and courtesy and whom to snub.

I learnt something from the encounter, though. I had experienced discourtesy from Singaporeans on many occasions - but this was my first encounter with Australian rudeness. Perhaps discourtesy is not just a local problem, then, but is fast becoming a global one. Either that, or these two ladies have adopted ways that fit in around here, a little too well.

If I had been that pregnant woman, I would have begun my request with a polite: "Excuse me..." and adopted a gentle, enquiring tone, rather than the demanding one that had been hers.

I know that, in general, pregnant women should be given a seat because the extra burden of the baby places a strain on their backs...however, I have just had a funny thought: does a sixty kilo pregnant woman (as I adjudged her to be), find greater difficulty standing for long periods than a 106 kg man (me)? I have nearly double the weight she needs to support, so there could be an argument there that the greater strain would be my own...

I raise the matter above in jest - but it does have a serious point: there may be other people with just as much, or perhaps, more need for a seat than even a pregnant woman. In this light, any pregnant woman should at least say "Thank you." when someone provides them with a seat. After all, someone has elected to give up their own comfort to make them more comfortable.

As for the Australian women: they have succeeded in lowering my expectations of what Australia might be like to visit (I have yet to go). I wonder if they are all as rude, there, as these two were to me?

Share your experiences please.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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Where all good deeds are punished.

Everyone has heard the phrase: "No good deed goes unpunished." - but have you ever seen such a force in operation? In Singapore, it is a daily occurrence.

Today, on the bus, I saw two instances of poor behaviour that would not even be recognized as poor behaviour by the perpetrators - yet poor behaviour it is.

The first occurred as a young woman got on the bus. She paid for her ticket - but then didn't collect it. She walked to the middle of the bus. The bus driver noted this and tried to attract her attention: "Lady! Hello!" he said, in English more polite than one was accustomed to, here, in Singapore. She ignored him, or didn't hear him. Seeing this, a man in his 30s walked down the bus to the "lady" and told her that the bus driver wanted to speak to her. She didn't reply to him. She met his helpful words with a sullen silence and not a word of thanks. She walked past him as if he did not exist and approached the driver. The bus driver handed her, her ticket saying: "You forgot this." She met his helpful words with a sullen silence and not a word of thanks. She walked back to the middle of the bus, as if the driver did not exist.

The second incident was more personal and happened later in the day. I was sitting on the outside of a dual seat. When I had sat down, the bus had been fairly empty, but quite a few people had just boarded. Seeing a young woman standing next to my seat, I rose from my chair and offered her the inside seat: "Would you like to sit down?" I asked.

She met my helpful words with a sullen silence and not a word of thanks. She sat down on the offered seat and looked away out of the window, as if, either I did not exist, or she did not wish to acknowledge that I did.

Now, in my country, both of these young women would be considered rude, ignorant, unpleasant and generally unworthy. When I lived in England, it was common to hear "please" and "thank you" rather a lot. Every courtesy was met with another courtesy in kind. To do a good turn for another was to receive immediate and genuine thanks. Not in Singapore, however. Here one can go all day opening doors for people, offering people seats, helping others in random distress - and NOT ONE OF THEM WILL THANK YOU IN RETURN. Politicians here talk about cultivating a graceful society - but Singapore is actually the most graceless place I have ever lived in. Here, the words "please" and "thank you" are not even in the local dictionary - or, if they are, no-one has read it.

It bothers me that I am not thanked when I show kindness or consideration to others here. They behave, in return, as if my kindness or consideration were their automatic right and I was beneath consideration for having shown it. It is quite unpleasant. I feel that Singapore is truly a place where every good deed is punished. For it is a kind of punishment not to be thanked and to be met with a surly silence every time one shows kindness to one's fellow humans, here. No wonder so many people want to leave Singapore. When one's fellow citizens are so uncivilized it is no surprise at all that they are all clamouring for somewhere else to live. What they don't realize is that they are each individually and collectively to blame for the poor social graces on show here - for each of them, typically, is guilty of them.

So, I have two messages today, for Singapore: they are the word: "Please" to be used before any request of another person, and the phrase "thank you" whenever anyone else does you a kindness or a service. Please use them, they make life so much better in a way you will only come to understand when their use is universal - for what they do is make people feel APPRECIATED.

Do you know what effect being snubbed by people every time I am kind to them has on me? It makes me think twice about considering others in future. The next time I have an empty seat to share with another, I may just decide to keep it to myself. After all, why should I think of others when to do so is only to receive rudeness in reply? The same applies to other situations in which I might assist others. Why should I pause to hold a door open, when to do so will receive no thanks and the other person will look on me as if I am some kind of slave, for doing so? So, I won't hold doors open, anymore. What if I can do something to help another, which means taking a minute of my time? I wouldn't do it, if I knew I would receive a sullen silence in return.

I am learning how to behave in Singapore. If I really want to fit in, I should just behave as if no-one else matters and no-one else exists. If I did so, I would be just as everyone else appears to be.

However, I don't really want to change in that way. I don't want to become the sort of person I have always despised. I would rather that everyone in Singapore change, instead, and become polite and socially graceful.

So the next time someone does you a kindness, just say: "Thank you." It would really help make Singapore a better place in which to live.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.)