A misplaced sense of entitlement.

Courtesy is a two-way thing - but, oddly, many people seem to think of it as one way only: from others, to them.

Last week, I sat on the bus. When I got on, there were still more seats than people, so I sat on the outside of a double seat, with the inner seat left empty (since I don't like to be trapped inside, when I need to leave).

A few stops later, there were more people than seats, so I rose from my seat, and asked all those standing nearby if they would like to sit down. No-one did. Some shook their heads, others just didn't answer me. So I sat down again.

A few stops later, another group of people got on. A Caucasian woman, whose hair was dyed blonde and whose years were a handful more than mine, spoke in an Australian accent: "Can I sit in there?"

"Yes, of course." I answered, and rose to let her in.

She sat in silence. She didn't thank me.

Unperturbed I confided: "I did ask everyone nearby if they wanted to sit, but no-one did."

She looked out of the window, as if I did not exist.

I shut up.

I went into a reverie, to pass the time and find interest in my thoughts.

After a while, a voice penetrated my thoughts: "Would anyone like to give me a seat?"

The voice was strident, insistent and, again, that of an Australian woman.

She spoke awfully near me, so I looked up. There was a dark-haired Australian woman in her thirties looking down on me. At first, I wondered why she did so, but then I saw her bump: she was pregnant.

I was being asked to give up my seat. I looked briefly at the Australian woman next to me, to whom I had already given a seat. She looked away and out of the window, as if I didn't exist.

"Yes, of course." I said - and rose to let her in.

This new, pregnant Australian woman sat in silence. She didn't thank me, either.

Thus, I stood, without a seat, in the aisle, which was quite an accomplishment since ten minutes before I had had two seats all to myself.

Neither woman looked at me. They behaved as if I didn't exist.

I appraised these Australian women, as if for clues as to their surprising rudeness. Both of them expected courtesy from others - indeed, DEMANDED it - but neither of them was prepared to be courteous to others, in response. Both had secured a seat from me - yet neither had thanked me for doing so. I thought this more than a little rude. It seemed ignorant, too.

I still had the tone of voice of the pregnant woman echoing in my mind: it was such a demanding voice, a voice that said: "It is my RIGHT to have a seat! Now MOVE!" The odd thing is, she had never considered that other people have feelings and they, too, are worthy of respect.

Looking back on it, I think that neither Australian woman deserved a seat. The proper response to them, had I had full knowledge of their characters would have been to have said: "No!". I should then have done as they had done: look out of the window as if they did not exist.

Yet, I had not known. I gave both of them the common level of courtesy and helpfulness I give to all people. That is my way. Yet, sometimes, it seems the wrong thing to do - because sometimes that courtesy is punished by those who receive it. I rather wish I had full knowledge of people so I would know to whom to show respect and courtesy and whom to snub.

I learnt something from the encounter, though. I had experienced discourtesy from Singaporeans on many occasions - but this was my first encounter with Australian rudeness. Perhaps discourtesy is not just a local problem, then, but is fast becoming a global one. Either that, or these two ladies have adopted ways that fit in around here, a little too well.

If I had been that pregnant woman, I would have begun my request with a polite: "Excuse me..." and adopted a gentle, enquiring tone, rather than the demanding one that had been hers.

I know that, in general, pregnant women should be given a seat because the extra burden of the baby places a strain on their backs...however, I have just had a funny thought: does a sixty kilo pregnant woman (as I adjudged her to be), find greater difficulty standing for long periods than a 106 kg man (me)? I have nearly double the weight she needs to support, so there could be an argument there that the greater strain would be my own...

I raise the matter above in jest - but it does have a serious point: there may be other people with just as much, or perhaps, more need for a seat than even a pregnant woman. In this light, any pregnant woman should at least say "Thank you." when someone provides them with a seat. After all, someone has elected to give up their own comfort to make them more comfortable.

As for the Australian women: they have succeeded in lowering my expectations of what Australia might be like to visit (I have yet to go). I wonder if they are all as rude, there, as these two were to me?

Share your experiences please.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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