Being ordinary or extraordinary.

What is the difference between being ordinary or being extraordinary? Sometimes they are one and the same.

I once wrote about the gifted child’s viewpoint of others, in a post, “Gifted or Impaired?”. My basic contention in that post was that a gifted child may not conceive of themselves as gifted, but of everyone else as “impaired”. I had an interesting conversation with Ainan a couple of days ago, which called to mind that post.

I had come to understand that Ainan had a strange view of his gifts. So, I tried to make him see that what he could do was extraordinary.

“It is all ordinary.”, he retorted. “Everything is ordinary.”

There was an expansiveness in his “everything” that led me to understand something. For Ainan, there are NO extraordinary achievements, in this world – everything is lumped under the “ordinary” title he was bestowing on it.

I tried to counter him, but it was no use. He left the conversation with the same view he had held at the beginning: that everything he had been able to do in his life was “ordinary” – and that, perhaps, everything everyone else had proven able to do was “ordinary” too. Ainan’s inner standard for what would amount to “extraordinary” was so high that nothing and no-one – except perhaps comic book fictional superheroes – could possibly qualify as “extraordinary”.

In a way, I see Ainan’s viewpoint on the matter of what constitutes a special gift, as a defence mechanism. By conceiving all that he has done and can do as “ordinary”, he does not separate himself from others – he can be one among all. I suppose that there is some psychological security in that. He can feel that he belongs, in a way that, perhaps, to an objective outsider, he might not seem to belong at all.

I didn’t press the point. I am comfortable with Ainan’s conception of himself, if it makes him feel more comfortable being who he is, as it seems to. Indeed, his view of himself does rather agree with my understanding that gifted children might not necessarily be able to see their own gifts. Should they try to understand them, they might, instead, come to view others as “less than ordinary” or “impaired”. Ainan has, indeed, come to a version of this understanding. Ainan has come to the view that there is no such thing as extraordinary accomplishment – because he is, of course, benchmarking all such accomplishments against what he can do himself. Given the level of what he can do and does quite casually, nothing, by comparison, seems extraordinary anymore. Hence, he conceives of a very ordinary world, in which there is nothing special in a child being the youngest in the world to have passed O level, or being in College – as he was – at 8 years old. To Ainan, that is all very ordinary.

At this time, therefore, I have a truer understanding of Ainan than he does himself. He does not see the wider world just yet. He has seen only a small sliver of that world – a small, very academic sliver. So, he cannot yet see his place in the fullness of the world. I wonder, now, how he will feel when he comes to the realization  - which is pretty certain to come, one day – that he is very far from ordinary. Will he be able to adjust to such an understanding? Will he live in denial and try to hold onto his view that “everything is ordinary”. We shall see. In the meantime, I won’t raise the matter, again, but will watch, instead, for signs of how his world view is developing.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

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Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.) 

How to be an individual.

A couple of days ago, my youngest son, Tiarnan, 6, gave us all a lesson in how to be an individual.

His mother, Syahidah, was chatting to him about his school life and his friends. She remarked that one of his friends did something she thought was interesting and asked:

“Why don’t you do that, too?”

“I don’t like to COPY!”, he sat, his face suddenly catching fire, with an inner fury at the very idea. “I DON’T COPY!”, he snapped.

She was surprised at the vehemence of his reply but was impressed, too. For in his instant retort, there lay a big, fat clue as to Tiarnan’s nature: he prizes originality. Now, Tiarnan may only be 6 years old, but he is a very individual six year old. He is very much himself and himself alone. Without realizing it, he revealed one of those reasons, in his outburst: he resists imitating his friends. What they do, he deliberately does not do. He seeks to do his own thing, uninfluenced by others. He resists influence, in a world in which most of his young colleagues at school, quite actively seek influence.

I think individuality is very important. It is key to being an interesting person and key to doing anything original in the world. There never was a genius, who was not also very much an individual. I think the phrase “conformist genius” would be a contradiction in terms. To be a genius, or a creative person of merely talented dimensions, you have to be a non-conformist individual – someone who seeks to be themselves in a world that seeks, too often, to be all alike.

I am encouraged by Tiarnan’s vituperative response to his mother’s question. It speaks of a strong need to be an individual – one which will serve him well, should he ever choose to pursue a creative endeavour as an adult – for nothing is more important in a creative field, than that one is an individual.

Carry on being yourself, Tiarnan...even if vehemently so!

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Will Smith on true friends.

I came across a great quote from Will Smith, the Hollywood actor/film star today. It went:

“If you were absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.”

Brilliant.

If this is a real quote from Will Smith and not just a misattribution, my estimation of him has been increased by this pithy and oh-so-true remark. Everyone who has ever sought to achieve anything of real creative worth, must note this phenomenon, at some time or other. Especially when they actually create something worthy. All those people who were invisible, when you needed them, suddenly pop out, when you don’t. It is quite perturbing. There is a whole sub-species of Humanity who think that their fellow Man are so stupid, that they can be scarce, when their compatriots are struggling towards success, but suddenly be ever present when success comes at last. It is a particularly ugly behaviour.

Even a casual glance at the early lives of many geniuses, before they reached renown, reveals much private struggle, in which they strove to create their works, not infrequently against the indifference or unhelpfulness of those around them. I wonder at how those who stood by and did nothing to help, responded when the genius finally succeeded? Did they expect to be able to “cash in”, on the situation?

Will Smith’s wise words are worth bearing in mind, for anyone who is working towards a personal success of any significance. Observe the people around you. Note who is helpful and who is not. Note who is there for you, and who is never so. Never forget those who help you along the way – nor those who hinder you. When, finally, your success is yours. Note the responses of the very same people, good and bad: do they suddenly change? Do the once unhelpful or hindering types suddenly become profusely interested in you? If so, simply exercise your memory, and see them as they truly are.

Indeed, this is a particularly important matter for anyone who becomes rich, famous or both to bear in mind. Only those people who were supportive in your darker times, are worth your consideration when you begin to flourish. Those who were more noted by their absence, than their presence, should never be trusted, or given a moment’s attention – after all, they didn’t do so for you when you actually needed their help.

Fame and wealth make this situation particularly acute for their bearer. Many people are attracted to the famous or the wealthy, seeking favours of some kind from them, or even just the reflected glory of close association. Those people are easily sorted by the Will Smith Rule – above. The ones who were there, when you were “no-one”, are worth your attention, when you become “someone”. The converse is true for the others. When people you haven’t seen for twenty years suddenly start treating you as their best friend, it is time to start closing doors in faces...preferably ON faces.

From Will Smith’s remark, I read that he most likely experienced this too. It seems, however, that he saw through the sudden hangers-on. Good for him.

I would be interested in any anecdotes, from people’s lives, on any similar experience. Did personal success bring you a sudden avalanche of friends you never knew you had, sourced from among those who had become very practised at ignoring you, during your time of struggle? Stories below, please.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Who owns a blog?

Who owns a blog? You might think this a funny question, but recently, I have come to observe that the READERS think they own a blog. I shall explain.

Not infrequently, I receive comments from readers, either approving of certain kinds of articles, and requesting more of them, or disapproving of certain kinds of articles and requesting fewer of them. Sometimes, however, I detect a proprietorial tone in the comments that seems to be saying: "I am the reader, it is MY blog experience and so it MUST be this way." I find this attitude both odd, and intriguing.

In my experience, bloggers don't make any money from blogging. They write because they have something they wish to say. In this sense, the blog is the ultimate writer's medium - in that it is written purely out of the free will of the writer, usually for no other purpose than expressing his or her thoughts. It is not a monetary situation, as other writing situations are. No matter how well I write, I will not make any money out of it. No one is going to pay me for a particularly thoughtful or insightful blog post. Indeed, the only thing that keeps blog writers writing is the fact that most of them love to write...otherwise, why bother?

The readers who make demands upon me, to write in particular ways, do not seem to understand my position as a blogger. There is no compensation for me, to write, at all. There most probably never will be. I could blog for the rest of my life (which I may do) and I will make nothing at all out of it, in monetary terms. I will, however, have done one thing: I will have expressed my views on things that matter to me. I will have inscribed a portrait of my self, in some indirect way, in how I write and in what I choose to write. I will, therefore, have expressed myself, day by day, year by year. That is all it will do. There will never be a tangible financial reward for having done so.

Readers who think they own the blog are thinking only of themselves - of what they want and of their needs. This is, I suppose, an easy trap to fall into. Nothing, I suppose, could be easier, for some people, than thinking only of themselves. However, they should realize that the blogger is someone else, whom they will never meet and who DOES NOT KNOW THEIR CONCERNS. The blogger does not write to please a particular individual for then they become a writer for hire, as it were, even if no payment is made. A blogger writes because there is something of interest to them in that moment: it is an expression of the thoughts of the present. Therefore, to demand of the blogger that they write in a particular way and of particular subject matter, is to demand that the blogger change, that the blogger should become someone else. In fact, it is a demand that the blogger cease to be a blogger and become a writer for hire.

If a blogger is true to themselves, they will, over time, cover all subjects and areas that are natural to them. There will, in that spectrum of articles, be material that pleases many people. However, no blogger should be required to focus on a particular type of article, from that repertoire, since that would be to distort the truth of themselves, it would be to slant it, in an unbalanced fashion, in a particular direction.

If a reader likes one article type that the blogger writes, then the reader should be patient enough to let the blogger write such articles, as and when they are moved to do so and read their other article types, in between, as background that allows a better understanding of the blogger/writer. The reader should not demand of the blogger to cease writing particular types of articles to focus on the type that they like, because that introduces inauthenticity into the blogger's work. The blogger will no longer be true to the moment and to themselves if they blog on demand, in this way.

I will write what I wish to write, when I wish to write it. That is, in fact, the attraction of blogging. There is no editor with a decision over whether or not any particular thought may be published, there is no publisher to say "The market isn't big enough for that!", there is only the thought and the wish to communicate it - along with the unparalleled ability to do so, at the press of a key.

I do take note of the readers comments over what they do and do not like. However, I also note the proprietorial attitude of some of them - and this concerns me. The reader does not own the blog - just as the reader does not write the blog. To expect the blogger to write on demand is to completely destroy the meaning of what it is to blog. So, I am not going down that path. I will write what it occurs to me to write on any particular day.

At the same time, I am happy to have readers and enjoy my correspondence with them. Yet, the day I allow myself to be dictated to, by the more vocal readers and have my work determined by them, is the day that I should really cease to write. I won't do that. I will write what I wish to, when I wish to...and hope that some people, at least, appreciate it enough to read it.

Thank you.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)