A lesson in sweetness of character.

Sweetness of character is as rare as great brilliance of mind - in fact, it is, rather sadly, probably rarer.

Yesterday, Fintan, six, was eating dinner with us. What was strange was that he only took rice and vegetables, onto his plate.

"Fintan, eat some of the curried chicken!", I urged him.

"No.", he said to me quietly, without rebellion, but with a certain firmness.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to dirty my plate, so that no-one has to wash it up."

As he spoke, he looked down at the cleanliness of his plate. It was unlike everyone else's around the table, in that it hadn't been "dirtied" by curry.

I was struck dumb for a moment, out of reverence for his sweetness. How many other six year olds would think so much of other people, that they would deny themselves food to make life easier for them? I knew that Fintan actually liked chicken, so it wasn't that he was avoiding it for his own interests - he was doing so to protect those of another.

"Eat the chicken, Fintan.", I said, softly, "Don't worry about your plate."

He looked at the chicken then, and reached out slowly to get some, after some inner hesitation.

Never, in all my life, have I seen anyone do as Fintan had done in that moment. I cannot, at this time, know what Fintan will become - but I hope he retains this essential sweetness of character and that it is not bashed out of him, by regular encounters with far less considerate people. Should it remain a part of him, Fintan will be one of those people that it is a pleasure to know, simply for the chance to witness the essence of their being.

Thank you, Fintan, for being as you are: a boy who would starve himself, rather than trouble another person.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

IMDB is the Internet Movie Database for film and tv professionals. If you would like to look at my IMDb listing for which another fifteen credits are to be uploaded, (which will probably take several months before they are accepted) please go to: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3438598/ As I write, the listing is new and brief - however, by the time you read this it might have a dozen or a score of credits...so please do take a look. My son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, also has an IMDb listing. His is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3305973/ My wife, Syahidah Osman Cawley, has a listing as well. Hers is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

The roots of kindness.

World Kindness Day is on 13th November 2009. So, it is apt that attention should, once more, focus on the Singapore Kindness Movement. The big question to be asked, first, of course is: is Singapore an essentially unkind society?

The short answer, unfortunately, is yes – and I shall tell you why. Singapore is a country built on competition. It is a nation that has raised competition to be the apex of all human endeavour. Were there Ten Singaporean Commandments, the first would be: Thou Shalt Win (At All Costs). Here, in Singapore, the only thing that matters, really, is that one should “win”, no matter what it takes to do so. In a culture where the only success is to be “No.1”, it seems necessary, to the people, to step on everyone else to get there. People brought up to believe that “winning is all”, become people who will do anything to win. This creates a fundamentally unpleasant attitude towards other people. You see, in such a “winner takes all” culture, other people are not seen as one’s fellow citizens, of a shared nation, but as one’s COMPETITORS. It is a small step from the word “competitor” to the word “enemy”. Thus, true Singaporeans don’t love their fellow man, they compete with them; fight with them; trample on them. They come to be people who only think of one person: themselves – no-one else is considered, or even considered worthy of being considered. No-one else matters, but “me”.

Singapore is a nation of people each of whom has the same thought running through their heads: “me, me, me”. There is no room for thought of anyone else. The consequences are clear. Singaporeans won’t do even the most basic of kindnesses for each other. They slam doors in each other’s faces, instead of holding them open. They get on trains, or into lifts, before others have got off. They steal each other’s taxis, getting into cabs others have called. They jump queues and get angry if challenged (which rarely happens). If offered a seat, on a bus, or a train, they will almost always fail to say “thank you”, but will sit in silence. Unbelievably, they even attack their fellow Singaporeans online, for doing well, in any endeavour. The list of poor behaviours could go on forever – but there is no need, for all the behaviours share one thing in common: a lack of thought for anyone else. Here, no-one considers the feelings of others.

Now, how are we to change this? How are we to make a kinder society? The Singapore Kindness Movement is a start. At least, it might prompt people to reflect on the issues and begin a process of personal change. However, I think it is too late to expect adults to change their ways, significantly. If Singapore is to become noted for the kindness of its people (which would, after all, be a lovely thing, wouldn’t it?), the efforts must begin in early childhood. Singapore’s children need to be taught to think of their effect on others; they need to learn to consider the feelings of others, just as much as they do their own. Parents can help with this, but schools should take on much of the burden. The instilling of kindness, as a desired attitude, could be woven into every lesson, in every school, in the land. It should begin with the teachers…perhaps they can be kind to their students. Every time they do so, they are teaching the children about kindness.

Perhaps, too, if Singaporeans could learn to compete less, with each other, and appreciate more, each other’s achievements, then a greater consideration for each other, might grow in their hearts. If Singaporeans can accept that other Singaporeans can win, too, and that that is something to feel pride in, rather than resentment of, perhaps the essential attitude of Singaporeans towards each other, might be changed for the better.

Kindness is a very important quality of a people. A kind person makes the lives of every person they ever meet, better. Of course, the opposite applies, too: an unkind person, makes the lives of everyone they meet worse. So, the Singapore Kindness Movement does not represent a trivial idea. It represents something fundamental to the quality of life, for everyone living in Singapore. If Singaporeans are, on the whole, unkind to each other, then it makes Singapore an unpleasant place to live in. Thus, it is important, for every Singaporean to begin to think in terms of how they can be kind to others. At each and every interaction, with other people, thought should be given to how they might show kindness, in that moment. Were all to do this, Singapore would quickly become one of the world’s most pleasant places to live in.

Of course, it takes two people to be kind: not just one. By this I mean, whenever anyone shows a kindness to another, that other should say: "Thank you", for the kindness shown. Should they not thank their benefactor, they would be greeting a kindness, with rudeness...which is just another variety of unkindness. So there are two parts to this: being kind to others - and being polite to those who are kind to us.

Be kind!

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

IMDB is the Internet Movie Database for film and tv professionals. If you would like to look at my IMDb listing for which another fifteen credits are to be uploaded, (which will probably take several months before they are accepted) please go to: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3438598/ As I write, the listing is new and brief - however, by the time you read this it might have a dozen or a score of credits...so please do take a look. My son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, also has an IMDb listing. His is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3305973/ My wife, Syahidah Osman Cawley, has a listing as well. Hers is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

The toddler and the baby

How do toddlers see little babies? Tiarnan's reaction gives some insight.

On the 27th July, Tiarnan was visiting some friends with us. There was a newborn baby in the house (it was for a baby shower). Tiarnan was very taken by this baby. He peered into the cot, looking down on the resting baby.

He looked up at his mother, then and asked if Tiarnan could hold the baby. His mother picked up the baby, gently in answer and brought her over to the bed.

"Sit down." she said to Tiarnan, as she pointed at the edge of the bed. He did so. Then she placed the baby in his outstretched arms, continuing to hold it, herself.

Tiarnan wrapped his arms around the baby very carefully. There was a tenderness in him that was sweet to witness. He looked so pleased just to hold the baby in his arms. He looked down at her, with fascination in his eyes. It was almost, in a way, like witnessing a father holding his baby, such reverence was in his face. It seems that Tiarnan is a good daddy in the making!

It was interesting to note the care with which he approached the baby. Everything he did around her was gentle and careful in the extreme. His movements were slow and careful and he was careful not to squeeze her more than necessary to hold onto her. It was clear that he understood how delicate such a young baby is. It was endearing to watch him take care of her so - for, in our eyes, he is not, of course, much older himself, at just two. Yet, there he was, the Littlest "Daddy" in the world - or so it seemed in an emotional sense, with the sense of caring that he clearly embodied.

I look forward to the day that I am a grandfather and Tiarnan is a daddy. I fully expect to recognize his attitude towards his children from these early moments of Tiarnan the toddler, with a newborn baby.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.)