The pain of brilliance.

I know a very bright young Professor, in his thirties, in a foreign University, in South America. I won’t give any more identifying details, because I think he should remain anonymous to protect him. Now, he is very much brighter than a typical person. He came first in a competitive examination to determine who would be selected for his academic position. He is publishing papers at a good rate and is making a name for himself in his discipline. He is even working with a very famous University, in Europe, on a special project. This is a mark of distinction indeed, for he is doing something for them, that they are not able to do themselves. In short, he is doing well in his academic career. He has come far for one so young. Yet, it doesn’t make him happy. Why, you wonder?

Well, it is simple. He is in pain...social pain. It brings him almost to tears to have to deal with his fellow academics in his University, because they are almost all mediocre, by comparison to him. Everyday, he must try to accommodate himself to the general “dumbness” that surrounds him. Everyday, he must struggle through conversations with people who are completely unable to follow his thoughts, should he allow himself to show them to others. He is suffocating. He is enveloped in a social bubble that prevents true communication to those around him, simply because it is impossible for them to understand him. Now, I understand him well. I know this situation. Perhaps that is why he discussed it with me.

My friend’s problem is the peculiar affliction of many gifted people all over the world. If one is truly gifted, then, in a very real sense, one is also truly cursed. For with the gifts of the mind, come the curses of the social world. It is essentially impossible for my friend, to fit in, in his present environment, because the disparity in intelligence, between him and those around him, is too marked. He is brilliant. They are not. Nothing that he, himself, can do, will ever change that. The only way he can accommodate to it, is by hiding himself, and nurturing a false public self, to be accepted. However, the real him is still there, inside, hidden away, quietly suffocating, quietly tortured by it all.

I have suggested to him that he find a more elite University to join, for the average intelligence of the staff should be greater, and there are likely to be more truly bright academics there. I hope he does so, for there can be nothing but misery in his future, if he stays where he is.

Everyone who is not truly gifted, imagines that life must be wonderful for those who are. The truth, however, is rather different. Great gift is a great burden, too. With every blessing it brings, there are concomitant curses that nothing the gifted person does, will ever change. It is still a blessing to be gifted – but a mixed blessing. It is not innately a gift that brings great happiness in its wake. Happiness, as a gifted person, must be worked for. Each gifted person must come to their own accommodation with the world and must find their own path within it, that satisfies whatever personal, professional and social needs they may have. Some, like myself, find that the best solution is to become accustomed to a quiet life. If one does not need constant social contact, or gives up that need, then life is easier – for there are many other ways to be fulfilled, that don’t involve people.

I am lucky. I have a good wife who complements me well. That fulfils my primary social needs. Anything else is a bonus. I enjoy the company of intelligent people, when I have the chance to spend time with them – but I have learnt not to need such company too often. Every now and again, is enough, to meet any social need I might have.

My friend does not deserve to be in pain. He did not ask to be the way he is. He did not make himself more intelligent than the people around him. That is just the way he is. Yet, he suffers all the same. Many gifted people suffer likewise – yet their pain goes unknown, it is something overlooked, marginalized and ignored. Rather than being understood, many gifted people are envied. So, not only do they have to put up with the pain of intellectual isolation – but they receive varying degrees of social hostility too, quite often. This is sad, because, like I said, they are the way they are, through no fault of their own. One cannot blame someone for their genetic inheritance.

I hope my friend manages to change his life for the better and finds a more intelligent milieu in which to live. I hope, too, that every significantly gifted person, in the world, finds at least one other, to relate to, at the level they would wish to, in an ideal world. That is all it takes, to make the pain go away: one person to talk to, freely. Do you have that?

Posted by Valentine Cawley

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Patrick Swayze's death: a note on what is important.

Patrick Swayze has died. He was rather too young, of course, at 57, but it had seemed rather inevitable, recently, given the seriousness of his pancreatic cancer.

At times like this, it can give comfort to those loved ones he has left behind, to realize how full a life he lived - and I am fairly sure he lived a full one. He was also successful in his chosen field and has left a substantial body of work. So, perhaps, his loved ones will draw nourishment from that. How he touched those he knew, how rich was the life he lived with them, is what is important. So, too, how fulfilled he felt in his work. I think, regarding that, that he must really have loved being an actor - because he took the lead role in The Beast, after his diagnosis and so chose to spend some of his final months working. That, in itself, tells us that, in his own view, he lived life the right way.

The reason I have chosen to write this post, however, is because of my surprise at what some of the searchers to my blog have searched for today. Some have used the terms: "Patrick Swayze net worth" and "What was Patrick Swayze worth" (this latter search was from Yonkers, in New York...I didn't check where the other was from.). I find these searches tasteless and really off the mark. The man has just died and all they are interested in, is the size of his estate. His wealth didn't matter much when he was alive - and it matters even less now that he is dead. What matters is did he live well, did he fulfill himself and did he share a good life with those he loved? Nothing else matters...certainly, not how many greenbacks he managed to accumulate. Really, I often find myself surprised - even shocked - at how shallow the world is becoming.

Rest in Peace Patrick Swayze.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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IMDB is the Internet Movie Database for film and tv professionals.If you would like to look at my IMDb listing for which another fifteen credits are to be uploaded, (which will probably take several months before they are accepted) please go to: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3438598/ As I write, the listing is new and brief - however, by the time you read this it might have a dozen or a score of credits...so please do take a look. My son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, also has an IMDb listing. His is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3305973/ My wife, Syahidah Osman Cawley, has a listing as well. Hers is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

Chance meeting with a "family friend"

Today, my wife was in a forested area: a deep, dark, forest. At least, that is what it was as evening approached.

She was with Ainan and Tiarnan, on an adventure. At some point, she encountered a fellow adventurer and struck up a conversation.

As they walked, she talked. "This is his physical education.", she remarked, pointing to Ainan.

The conversation encompased education in general. Finally, being of a mind to know what he thought of the matter, she asked him: "Have you heard about the 7 year old boy?"

"Of course I have," he nodded knowledgeably, "I know the family."

She appraised him carefully on hearing that.

"I know the parents.", he expanded, generously.

Syahidah, the mother of the seven year old in question - had never seen him in her life, before.

It is amazing what the media can do: an appearance in the press can give you friends you never knew you had, friends you have never even met.

How bizarre.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and ten months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and three months, and Tiarnan, twenty months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)