Tiarnan's emotional responses

We live in Singapore. It is a city-state of modest proportions, but great ambitions. As you might expect, it is getting relatively crowded, being a small island with four and a half million people.

A couple of days ago, we were in a taxi being driven through town, with Tiarnan, nineteen months, in the car. He was sitting with his mother, looking backwards, as the car moved ahead. Suddenly, he pointed out of the window, and grinned toothily- his big smile revealing each of his small front teeth, his nose wrinkling up as it always did when he was most happy.

We looked where he had pointed and saw a big expanse of green: nothing more than that - just a patch of grass and trees, battling for survival in the middle of a spreading city. Looking at the green and looking at his smile, I was immediately struck by how great his response to it was: he was really happy to see a patch of living plant life, clambering up a mound of earth by the roadside.

He has shown a love of nature before, but it is becoming more clear that he really loves nature. Many little children wouldn't even notice the presence of grass and trees - but Tiarnan picks them out as worthy of special notice and smiles, abundantly, at their presence. He actually responds emotionally to nature: seeing it makes him happy.

Given Tiarnan's love of nature and Fintan's love of animals, perhaps we should be living in the countryside, and not a city. Or at least, we should make sure they spend more time amidst grass, trees and four legged friends.

I wonder at the future world they will grow up in. The global trend appears to be towards ever larger cities and ever greater encroachments upon nature. Will there be much less of the type of world our children love, when they become self-determining adults? I hope not. It would be a pity if Tiarnan were not to have something to smile about, everyday.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and nine months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and two months, and Tiarnan, nineteen months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

The self-perception of a toddler

Tiarnan is a toddler - he is but eighteen months old. I wonder, at times, how he sees himself and the rest of the world. Sometimes, something he does or some attitude he takes reveals a lot of what must be going in him. The other day was a case in point.

Tiarnan led me into the computer room, where his brother, Ainan, was at work and pointed at the screen. "Baby!", he said. Ainan knew what he meant. "He wants to see babies.", he said, indulgently and started to type at the keyboard.

As images of babies appeared on the screen, Tiarnan at once started jumping up and down: "Babies!" he said, most pleased to see them. We let him see images of "babies" - some were indeed, babies, others were toddlers like himself. He was delighted at this.

I thought this was both sweet and sad for what it said about how he felt. Tiarnan is not going to nursery, at this moment. Perhaps, in leading me to the computer, which he knew was capable of calling up any and all information, he was expressing a need for the company of others of his own age. He has two older brothers - four years and seven - but, to an eighteen month old, that is quite a gap.

Another interpretation is evident, however, which may, in fact, be the dominant one. Tiarnan simply likes babies: he thinks they are cute. Whenever he meets a baby when we are out, he smiles, goes up to it and interacts with it, much as a mother does to her baby: with an overwhelming feeling of adoration. I think he thinks of babies as very young and cute - not realizing that most of the world thinks of him in just the same way. He too is a "baby" to our eyes - but not to his own.

I feel that Tiarnan thinks of himself as distinct from babies - as more mature and developed - and therefore that babies are the province of cuteness and careful interaction (for he is always careful with them) that takes note of their fragility.

It is funny to watch him with babies - for he is very much like an adoring adult - but actually a toddler, who is seemingly unaware of his own toddler status. It is very sweet.

(If you would like to read more of Tiarnan, eighteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and eight months, or Fintan, four years and one month, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, genetics, left-handedness, College, University, Chemistry, Science, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Where love is banned.

Travel affords one many unexpected opportunities. In particular, living in a part of the world different from one's formative years, can teach us much more than one might suppose.

Singapore, where I live, has a fairly broad contact with mainland China. There are many mainland Chinese here - living, working and studying. Recently I had a peculiar conversation with a group of Chinese mainland students. The subject of social expectation had come up. On this matter, one girl remarked:

"In China, no-one is allowed to fall in love, in school."

I was shocked at this and so was initially silent. Into this silence, she continued: "Not in middle school or high school - but in University, it is OK."

This young woman, of University age, evidently found my surprise, surprising.

"That is really strange." I couldn't help but remark.

"It is normal.", she shrugged, accepting it.

"So, what happens if a student falls in love in high school?"

"Then they are a bad student." Her words were said with meaning: clearly she had imbibed the viewpoint of her society and made it her own. To her, indeed, such a student would be a wrongdoer and a "bad" student.

"Their teacher will be very angry..." she continued, "and will call their parents. Then their parents will be very angry, too."

I was beginning to feel a little horrified at this point, at the nature of the society she was painting. A society in which young love is greeted with anger; in which the natural feelings of bonding that arise between people in their mid to late teens, should be looked upon as "wrong" and "bad", made me really uncomfortable - queasy even.

I tried to imagine what it would be like to grow up in a society so set against love. Every thought and understanding that came to me was accompanied by the conviction that such a world would be very damaging to human development.

I had never met a truly passionate character from mainland China. By this I mean fired with emotion, driven by it, propelled by it. Such people are very capable of great things. Perhaps, the suppression of emotion which all their young have to undergo is responsible for that lack of fire, as adults. Something suppressed for too long, may very well shrivel up from disuse.

This conversation raises a very important issue. Which is more important: academic success or healthy emotional development? Chinese society has, as I am informed, made the decision that academic success stands above all things - and not even love may stand in the way. In choosing this stance, they have, probably without realizing it, chosen to stunt the emotional development of an entire nation. Yes, they may not be distracted from their studies - for as she further explained: "When you are in love, you cannot study well." - but they will also not experience the natural development of their emotional self. That side will be blocked - for many years. By the time they are allowed to express that side, it will have become muted, through both time and disuse. A dispassionate people will be the result.

Raising a child is not easy - and there are many choices that a parent - or an educator - must make - but from my point of view, no choice should be taken that leads to the diminishment of an individual. Nothing should be done to impair their growth in any way.

Yes, love may distract the students from study - but it would also make them happy in the face of great difficulty and perhaps more able to shoulder the burdens of academic demand which are placed upon them. Disallowing it and making it a forbidden emotion, on the other hand, can only ever have a negative and inhibitory effect on the development of their children. China will be much the worse for it, when these emotionally disabled teens become their future leaders of society.

(If you would like to read of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and no months, or Tiarnan, seventeen months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted children and gifted adults in general. Thanks.)