Syahidah communicates with children.

Syahidah, my wife, has an interesting way with children. Somehow, she just knows what to say, to connect with them, in their world. In short, she “speaks their language”.

Yesterday, Tiarnan, five, hadn’t quite finished up his dinner. Perhaps he was full – or perhaps he was distracted. (He is the type to find his imagination more interesting, than what is happening in his immediate surroundings, at times).

Syahidah looked down at her smallest son and said, seriously:

“Eat up your carrots.”

Tiarnan listened, but only because it was his mummy speaking.

“Carrots are good for your eyes.”, she continued, “That is why you don’t see rabbits wearing spectacles.”

I laughed explosively on hearing this. Tiarnan didn't. He maintained a serious demeanour. It was clear that he considered this a fair point, having two rabbits in the house and neither sporting a pair of spectacles.

He ate his carrots.

I thought this a wonderful example of how Syahidah always knows just what to say, to a child, to get them to understand her point. In a way, this is a gift, a communicative gift – and one that is not that common, unfortunately, among adults, or even parents. With most people, we grow too far from our own childhoods, to readily connect to those in theirs. Not so with Syahidah: for her, childhood is very close to the surface and readily reachable. She remembers it well and so can relate to children in a way few can. I think my sons are lucky to have her as their mummy – and I am lucky to have her as my wife!

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.htmland here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

The role of a parent.

The role of a parent is to try to raise a child greater than the one they were, and to give that child a better childhood, than they had.

At least, that is what I aspire to do - though whether I succeed or not, I will leave for others to judge. After all, posterity will see more of the totality of my children's lives, than I am likely to.

I have written the thought, above, for a good reason. I have noted that some parents seem competitive with their children. These parents would never wish the child to grow to be greater than they are. Indeed, they do all they can to frustrate the child's ambitions, consciously or otherwise. To my mind, such "parents" don't know what it means to be a parent. A true parent aspires to nurture a person greater than themselves. The greatest success a parent can have is to be outshone, by one's children. In truth, of course, the parent is not eclipsed by the child's achievements, but revealed by them - for in them, lies evidence of the parents' ability to nurture the growth of another human being, to guide their offspring to greatness, of whatever kind.

A parent is not made greater, by being greater than their children. A parent is made greater, if their children are "greater" than they were, for, in so achieving, the parent has succeeded in creating a more nurturant life, for their offspring, than they must have had themselves. So, paradoxical as it might seem, the greatest success a parent can have is to raise children greater than themselves. Raising children is the ultimate act of creativity - one of infinite complexity and subtlety. To do that so well, that the child seems greater than the parent, is true greatness indeed.

Contrast this attitude and outlook, to those parents who seek to overshadow their children and thereby make themselves seem "greater". It is a more common attitude than might be supposed. Many a mother, with an attractive daughter, finds herself dressing to compete for attention, with her young offspring. It is a foolish way to feel. I am pleased that my children are better looking than I am. I do not feel lesser by comparison, but, in fact, feel enhanced that they are so attractive. Indeed, I am delighted by every manner in which they do things which I could not, or which differ, in some way, from the child I was, in an interesting fashion.

Perhaps it could be said that a sane parent delights in every accomplishment of their children - and that an insane one may resent them.

What those who are uncomfortable watching their children's talents grow, perhaps into areas in which their own never flourished, should imbibe is that the more brightly the child shines, the more light they throw upon their parents. A parent is never lessened, by the greatness of their child. In fact, the greatness of a parent, may be defined by the greatness of the child. The greatest parents of all, are those who manage, through their words, deeds and choices, to create children that others consider to surpass them. What the observers overlook, however, is that to create a being that surpasses oneself, is to show skill as a parent, that none may surpass.

I would like nothing more than to bring children into this world, who are better than me, in every way. Now, I don't know if this is possible, but at least, by trying to do so, I am aspiring to be the best parent, anyone can be. As a parting thought, it seems to me that, if all parents, tried to make children greater than themselves, that this world would, very soon, become a much better place than it is. Of course, it must not be forgotten, that this goal of generational advance, cannot be achieved by pushing the children. They must instead be encouraged, nurtured, guided, loved and most importantly, listened to. Nowhere, in this particular parenting recipe, is there any room for "pushing". That, in my view, is always going to fail.

Happy parenting all. May your children be greater than you are! I can think of no better blessing - nor one that could change the world, more, for the better.


(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html
and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here: http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks. You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

The Tower of Babel.

I live on the top flour of an apartment block in Singapore. I could, therefore, be said to live in a tower. Today, that tower seemed like the Tower of Babel, for a moment.

You will recall the tale of Babel, and of how the people of the Earth were fated not to be able to speak in a common tongue. Well, today, Fintan came rushing back from the swimming pool, his hair all wet, his body not yet dry, with urgent words on his lips.

His mouth opened before me, as his eyes searched mine and out poured a string of alien sounds.

I looked at him in puzzlement, trying to make sense of what he had said.

He repeated the alien sounds, clearly puzzled by my lack of response to what were clearly urgent words.

Everyone else in the room began to laugh...to Fintan's evident incomprehension: first I wouldn't react, second, everyone else was laughing. He didn't know why.

Then I told him: "Speak to me in English, Fintan."

At last he understood.

"Daddy, Ainan won't get out of the swimming pool!"

My second born son had spoken to me in Malay, in his urgency to be understood, not recalling, for a moment, that I speak very few words of that tongue.

It was a strange moment - and a distancing one. It felt very uncomfortable to see him so close to me, but unable to communicate. An awful remembrance comes to me now, of a South American man I once knew who was divorced from his Japanese wife. He spoke English and Spanish...but after a while his children began to forget their little English - and he was no longer able to communicate with his own children, for he had little Japanese. How terrible that must be. He had lost them more completely than just the divorce achieved. Well, today, for a moment, I felt that unbridgeable distance between father and son that comes when neither speaks the other's tongue.

Yet, there is another lesson here, too. It is that Fintan is becoming comfortable with his second language - so that he sometimes finds himself speaking it, without even realizing that he is doing so. One day, no doubt, he will be fully bilingual. He won't be my only son to be so.

I just hope he remembers to speak to me in English!

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.)

Little Boy, Big Heart

Last night, Tiarnan, twenty months, lay in the centre of our bed. He is a playful character to have around, and never less than entertaining. After we had spent some time enjoying his whimsical nature, we turned out the lights.

I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

Singapore is a hot and humid country and so we have no need for blankets, yet, above us, there is the ever present ceiling fan, creating a strong breeze throughout the room. Sometimes it is just a little too strong - so, though the actual room temperature might be over thirty degrees centigrade, as it often is, the breeze can make one feel quite chill. It is a curious paradox.

After a few minutes of listening to the whirr of the fan, I felt two little hands pressing on my chest, and down my abdomen. I opened my eyes to see Tiarnan, with a sheet in his hands, wrapping it about my body, to shield me from the fan. He smiled down at me and then carried on tucking me in.

How sweet. Tiarnan must have felt the strong breeze on his skin and felt cold. Yet, his thoughts didn't stop there: he realized that I, too, would feel the same breeze, and might also feel cold. So what did he do? He reached down and took a sheet - and used it to cover me.

His unexpected kindness touched me. I am not sure that all that many little people of his age, would think of doing such a thing. What a big heart he has.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and ten months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and three months, and Tiarnan, twenty months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

The Art of communication, Tiarnan style.

When you are a baby, communication is both very important, and very difficult. How do you relate to those giant adult beings, in a timely manner to have your needs met?

Tiarnan, fifteen months, has always been a good communicator, with both body language and words. He also goes out of his way to make himself understood.

A few days ago, his mother, Syahidah asked him:

"Why do you have these marks on your legs?"

"Jatuh." he said, which is Malay for "I fell down."

He has been speaking since he was two months old, so that was not the surprise. What was telling was what he did next. He picked up a plastic cup and threw it to the floor and repeated what he had said: "Jatuh".

I find this very interesting. It shows that he is tackling the need for communication in more than one mode: by word, then by deed, to demonstrate the meaning of the word and to show that he meant what it meant. This shows that he understands the problem of communication very well. It also shows that he is resourceful in tackling it in his own way.

He has, in this instance, translated a word into an action. This recalls his earlier development of many months ago, of translating between languages to show that he knew the corresponding words in both of his main languages.

(If you would like to know more of Tiarnan, fifteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and five months, or Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted children and gifted adults, in general. Thanks.)

The difficulty of parenting a prodigy child

Prodigies present their parents with unique problems. One problem is communication with them, in their chosen area.

Ainan is a scientist with a specialist interest in Chemistry - but with other areas developing, too. As his father, and only scientifically aware relative, I have a great responsibility: providing him with someone to talk to, about his chosen subject area. Now, this wasn't such a big problem when he first started investigating Chemistry - but, as the months pass, and he gallops along, I find that he has already surpassed me, in his chemical knowledge - indeed, he did so some while ago. How then, am I to communicate with him?

Well, I have one advantage - and that is many years of general scientific reading and education. I have an understanding of many scientific concepts - and the ability to learn new ones rapidly. In this manner, should Ainan make a scientific observation or proposition, I am able to evaluate whether it is scientifically reasonable and feedback my thoughts on the matter. Yet, there remains a problem: his reading is becoming ever deeper and ever more technical and with it, his knowledge. There is no doubt that he now knows more Chemistry than I ever knew, despite the fact that I took Chemistry up to the end of my first year at Cambridge. Ainan is outgrowing his father's scientific knowledge - at least in his area of interest. Outside of that area, his scientific speculations and understandings are becoming ever more complex - and so, perhaps, one day, I will wrestle with the same problem outside of Chemistry, too.

This developing situation of which I speak will occur with any parent of a prodigy child, to some degree. If the child is truly prodigious, then they will outgrow the parent, in their chosen area, unless the parent is a practising, ever learning and growing professional in the area of the child's expertise. I am not. I am a generally educated scientist, but don't practise as a professional Chemist (though I used to be a Physicist).

So, what do I do? I try to keep up with his reading so that I can provide him with a sounding-board for his thoughts; a scientific confidante. I am able to do this at present, for my scientific understanding is very broad - and I learn new concepts quickly, allowing me to talk things through with him.

One day, though, I know that I alone will not be enough for him. One day, he will speak and I will have no means to understand. Should that day come, and Ainan have no other chemically trained person to talk to, he will be alone, in the world, in his thoughts. I hope to forestall that day by re-teaching myself Chemistry (after all, it is two long decades since I studied it) and by learning Chemistry I never knew, just to keep up. Yet, how much longer can I run along behind him? Can I keep pace with him, so that he has someone to relate his thoughts to? His mind is younger and fresher than mine, so I labour at a natural disadvantage. My mind will slow as his grows strong. Clearly, there will come a time when I cannot converse with him as he might wish - unless I make as much an effort to become a well-versed chemist as he does.

This, then, is the situation of all parents of a prodigy child. As the child grows in their discipline, they grow further apart from the parent, until the day comes when parent and child can no longer converse. Is it not sad, that victory in the child's growth, inevitably leads to a kind of mental division from the parent? Yet, that is what every parent of a prodigy unknowingly seeks, in trying to help their child grow. They seek the day when parent and child can no longer talk, and be understood.

There is a kind of irony in that, that I am not sure I am comfortable with - yet, I try to enable my son's progress, knowing, even as I do, that I am taking him to a place of which, he will not be able to speak to me.

How strange is life, that victory should also be a kind of defeat.

Good luck Ainan. If you ever read this, know at least that I tried to keep up.

(If you would like to read more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and three months, or his gifted brothers Tiarnan, thirteen months and Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)