A lesson in sweetness of character.

Sweetness of character is as rare as great brilliance of mind - in fact, it is, rather sadly, probably rarer.

Yesterday, Fintan, six, was eating dinner with us. What was strange was that he only took rice and vegetables, onto his plate.

"Fintan, eat some of the curried chicken!", I urged him.

"No.", he said to me quietly, without rebellion, but with a certain firmness.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to dirty my plate, so that no-one has to wash it up."

As he spoke, he looked down at the cleanliness of his plate. It was unlike everyone else's around the table, in that it hadn't been "dirtied" by curry.

I was struck dumb for a moment, out of reverence for his sweetness. How many other six year olds would think so much of other people, that they would deny themselves food to make life easier for them? I knew that Fintan actually liked chicken, so it wasn't that he was avoiding it for his own interests - he was doing so to protect those of another.

"Eat the chicken, Fintan.", I said, softly, "Don't worry about your plate."

He looked at the chicken then, and reached out slowly to get some, after some inner hesitation.

Never, in all my life, have I seen anyone do as Fintan had done in that moment. I cannot, at this time, know what Fintan will become - but I hope he retains this essential sweetness of character and that it is not bashed out of him, by regular encounters with far less considerate people. Should it remain a part of him, Fintan will be one of those people that it is a pleasure to know, simply for the chance to witness the essence of their being.

Thank you, Fintan, for being as you are: a boy who would starve himself, rather than trouble another person.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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Little Boy, Big Heart

Last night, Tiarnan, twenty months, lay in the centre of our bed. He is a playful character to have around, and never less than entertaining. After we had spent some time enjoying his whimsical nature, we turned out the lights.

I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

Singapore is a hot and humid country and so we have no need for blankets, yet, above us, there is the ever present ceiling fan, creating a strong breeze throughout the room. Sometimes it is just a little too strong - so, though the actual room temperature might be over thirty degrees centigrade, as it often is, the breeze can make one feel quite chill. It is a curious paradox.

After a few minutes of listening to the whirr of the fan, I felt two little hands pressing on my chest, and down my abdomen. I opened my eyes to see Tiarnan, with a sheet in his hands, wrapping it about my body, to shield me from the fan. He smiled down at me and then carried on tucking me in.

How sweet. Tiarnan must have felt the strong breeze on his skin and felt cold. Yet, his thoughts didn't stop there: he realized that I, too, would feel the same breeze, and might also feel cold. So what did he do? He reached down and took a sheet - and used it to cover me.

His unexpected kindness touched me. I am not sure that all that many little people of his age, would think of doing such a thing. What a big heart he has.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and ten months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and three months, and Tiarnan, twenty months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Is sweetness of character innate?

In this modern world, in which selfishness is the creed of almost all, few think of others. Fintan, three, however, is an exception.

Today, I took Fintan to the pool, while his brother Ainan was still at school. He played quite contentedly, even though the pool was largely empty. When it came time to go we went to the shop and bought a few things: including a drink for him and some chocolate sweets.

Curiously, as we were about to leave the shop, he said: "Can I hold the sweets?"

Those words struck me as odd: not, "Can I eat the sweets?" but "Can I hold the sweets?"

I thought at first he was being euphemistic, and that he meant to eat them, but, as we walked back home he held them in his hands, making no attempt to open them.

After a few minutes of this, I took them off him and said: "Would you like me to open them?"

He shook his head. "No. Because later my brother cry." He wouldn't, of course, but in Fintan's world that was something to be avoided. I was touched by his words. Here was a three year old who was very fond of his sweets, who wouldn't open a pack of chocolates because his older brother, Ainan, wasn't present to share in them.

"You are a nice boy, Fintan." I remarked, warmly.

He shook his head, at once, rather sharply, actually: "No, not nice: smart!" he corrected me. "Smart or good." he further elucidated.

It seems that he has already learnt to value smartness or goodness above niceness - which is a pity, in a way, since he is, in fact, of a very sweet character - so "nice" is a fair description.

So I walked all the way home with my smart, good and nice three year old son.

Once there, I offered to open the drink for him: "No." He shook his head, "Wait until my brother comes."

I smiled at that. Smartness and goodness he might prize - but he just can't stop being nice - even towards someone who wasn't there and who would never know that Fintan had made a sacrifice in his favour, in his absence - unless I told him so.

What a sweetie.

(If you would like to read more of Fintan, three, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and five months, or Tiarnan, fifteen months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted children and gifted adults in general. Thanks.)

Tiarnan's concern for Daddy

Yesterday, Tiarnan, fifteen months (just turned), did something very sweet.

I was sitting in the computer room and Tiarnan was outside near the kitchen with his mummy. He was carrying a plate on which there sat a biscuit with spread on it. Syahidah told him to go sit in the living room - and he began to walk off - but not in the direction she had indicated. He walked towards the computer room.

Thus, I saw his little form round the corner carrying this plate. He raised it up to me so that I could better see what he offered. It was clear what he intended: my baby son was trying to feed his Daddy. I wasn't hungry but I wasn't going to refuse this thoughtful kindness of my youngest son.

"Thank you, Tiarnan, for the biscuit." I said and he seemed gratified.

I reached down and took the half-eaten biscuit (for the rest was inside him) and ate it, bite by bite. He watched me do so and offered me the plate. I took it and placed it down on the table. When the biscuit was finished he pointed at the plate - and so I gave it back to him.

Happily he walked backwards out of the room looking up at me all the while.

As he left the room, he said, "Bye, bye!".

I was struck by his sweet thoughtfulness in thinking of his Daddy while the others ate. It must have been clear to him that one person was missing from the biscuit-fest - and he had not ignored that but had taken the initiative to ensure that his Daddy had a biscuit too. What did he do: he gave his OWN biscuit to me.

His sweetness and consideration, at such a young age, are not all that common. Many children of his age have yet to learn to think of anyone but themselves. To do so, requires that the child understand other people's situation and to be concerned about it: both skills and attitudes are usually lacking at that age.

It is warming to have a son who would actually think of his father's needs - and do something about them.

What a sweet boy: the littlest waiter in the world.

(If you would like to read more about Tiarnan, fifteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and four months, or Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Fintan puzzles at the fairness of the world

About two weeks ago, Fintan came into our room in the morning, with a question on his lips.

"Daddy...why are there four boys and only one mummy?" He pointed at me, himself and his brothers, as he said so.

His voice and face were both concerned - he seemed to think there was something inherently unfair in all of this.

"Well, when mummy has a baby, half of them are boys and half are girls...it just happens that all of them have been boys. That is all."

He listened to this, but wasn't convinced of its fairness. I felt like telling him that mummy would have a girl one day - but didn't - for how could I be sure of that?

I see in this question, and in others that Fintan asks, a developing sense of what is right, true and moral. He senses unfairness in some of the characteristics of the world - and puzzles at them. He is not one to accept that which does not seem just.

Without knowing it, therefore, Fintan is measuring the world against some inner sense of what is fair and just. He has an internal moral sense - and it appears to be developing nicely.

I am happy about that, for one who senses unfairness in the world around them, is also very likely to be one who behaves fairly in their conduct towards others. The development of a moral sense is also a sign of the development of a moral character: the two go together. A child cannot sense immorality, injustice or unfairness - and then behave unjustly, immorally or unfairly - for the child would sense the wrongness of their own behaviour, then, measured against their developing internal standard.

It appears that, in Fintan, at least, a sense of justice and morality develops quite early - after all, he is only three.

I look forward to the good hearted man he promises to become, knowing, as I do, the good-hearted child that he is.

Fintan's sweetness of character

If I had one wish, it would be that everyone in the world could be as sweet natured as Fintan, three, for then it would be a happy world, indeed.

About a week ago, Fintan went to a party, at a school. There he played "educationally" with children of his age, learning some Chinese along the way. That, however, was not what struck me. When it came time to leave, Fintan spotted some sweets, on display and tucked into them, in seeming greed, coming up with a handful: four sweets, in all. He put them in his pocket.

"You can't take so many Fintan!" said his mummy.

He looked at her, with his open, innocent face, and announced: "One is for Abang, mummy, one is for Tiarnan, one is for Daddy and one is for me."

Abang is a term of respect, meaning "Older brother" and refers, of course, to Ainan.

Far from being greedy, Fintan, as is usual with him, had thought of others - and made sure that each of the important sweet eaters in his life, had one sweet, each. What is notable is that none of those he thought of were witness to this - and so he could have quite easily consumed them all, himself, without any of us knowing. But that isn't Fintan's way: his thoughts were for others and what they would enjoy.

Since I became a father, I have become an observer of the behaviour of other people's children, too. Most of my observations come from Singapore. It is much more common among little children, here - and probably elsewhere - to see instinctive selfishness on display - those who think of themselves, alone, appear to be in the majority. It is warming, therefore, to see Fintan's behaviour - for his type of thinking leads to the development of a person who makes a good friend, a good father, a good husband - and a good person, generally. One day, I hope, Fintan will be all three: he is already the first to his brothers and the last, for sure.

(If you would like to read of more tales of Fintan, Tiarnan or Ainan Celeste Cawley, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults, and gifted children in general. Thanks.)