The deepest wish for the future.

To have children, is to be a watcher of the future. To look on them, is to wonder what they might become, one day and to feel a duty to guide them or empower them , to be whatever they truly wish.

A couple of days ago, my wife Syahidah looked at me across the dining table.

“I hope our kids grow to be as patient as you.”, she began, her eyes looking deeply across the table and into the future, at the same time.

I was pleased to hear that implicit compliment.

“...and as tidy as me.”, she said, with a meaningful gaze.

I wasn’t so pleased to hear that implicit criticism!

I laughed though. “That is just like something Fintan might say.”

She smiled her agreement.

We see each other, in each other, every day, in ways little and large. Her remark had the comic structure of Fintan’s utterances – and no doubt, his had that structure, because of her. I felt the invisible bonds of like mindedness joining us, in that moment. We are each a part of the other, a partial reflection of each other. This is a fact of all families – but one too often not fully understood I feel. Every one of our children is a part of us, us a part of them. In their minds are thoughts we would recognize as like our own, feelings too, that we know so well.

I like this togetherness. It is what makes a family feel so different from any other random group of people known to each other. We are not just known to each other – we are like each other, fashioned from the very same cognitive and affective substance.

It is interesting to look at our children and see which elements of them come from my wife and which from myself. It is not difficult to see the jigsaw puzzle that they are, as a rearrangement of components within ourselves.

Considering her wish, I would say I have to agree. I hope they have my patience and her tidiness – the other way around just would not do at all!

One day, we will know. I look forward to that day and all the others, in which my children are becoming. It is a story of infinite richness, written before my eyes, daily. It is also a story I cannot, now, imagine, ever having missed.

Here’s to a patient and tidy future!

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Of Casinos and confectionery.

“Mum,” began Fintan, eight, with a certain puzzled intensity, “Why is gambling a sin?”

Syahidah’s curious eyes appraised his puzzled eyes, a little surprised at the question.

“It is a sin because gambling is addictive and it ruins your life.”

“Oh my God!”, Fintan exclaimed, with shocked, widening eyes, “What is chocolate, then? I am addicted to chocolate!”

She had to smile, at the connection he drew – and reassured him that chocolate was fine.

This little conversation didn’t stop him eating chocolate, subsequently, though perhaps he indulged a little more appreciatively of his “addiction”.

I like Fintan’s question. It shows that he is trying to understand the moral codes of adults and come to an appreciation of why it is that certain behaviours are thought bad and others not. It also shows that he considers that this adult labelling is not intrinsically clear – that is, things which we deem wrong, do not necessarily appear wrong to him. He could not, himself, understand why gambling would be a “sin”. He must have considered the activity – the playing of games for money – and not been able to see what was wrong with that. This suggests that the innate morality of a child and the constructed morality of adults are not the same thing. He appraises the morality of things from a fresh, innocent and largely uninfluenced position, not yet having been indoctrinated into adult thinking. It is refreshing to see him come to his own viewpoints as to what is wrong and what is not. Of course, by asking his mother for her understandings, he is seeking to teach himself the adult world’s moral stance – or at least the moral stance of my wife’s adult world. However, I see that, in him, there is another morality, already extant, to which he is comparing his mother’s views.

This leads me to wonder what his moral views would be, were he not to be instructed at all in the constructed adult world’s ones. Would his views remain as they are now – the moral outlook of a child? The experiment cannot be done, and should not be, for moral reasons, ironically...but it is interesting to speculate how much of our moral views are indoctrinated as we grow up, and how many are intrinsic. It is clear that Fintan has intrinsic views, but that he is seeking an understanding of the extrinsic ones. This suggests that he is prepared to believe that those outside himself, have more moral understanding than he does. His outlook therefore, is that he is prepared to learn what people he trusts believe to be so.

It is revealing that he considers moral issues at all. I am not sure how many kids these days, actually think of moral matters...but Fintan does. He is concerned that he lives his life, in the right – but to do so, he must first come to an understanding of what is right, and what is not.

I mustn’t let him spoil his enjoyment of chocolate, though...for that would be an unnecessary loss. Now, I am just going to give him a piece of one of his favoured chocolate bars...

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Tiarnan, the little policeman

About three days ago, Tiarnan, fifteen months, stepped in to control his brothers' behaviour.

Ainan, 7, and Fintan, 3, were playing in a rough and tumble style. This is characteristic of boys everywhere and, generally speaking, no-one really gets hurt: it is just play wrestling. Tiarnan, however, thought differently of this. He looked at Fintan on top of Ainan on the couch, the two struggling together and he looked up at me, then pointed at his brothers: "Heh..."

I looked at where he pointed, then decided to do something. I stepped in and pulled the two boys apart. The funny thing was Tiarnan's reaction. He was flabbergasted that I had listened to him and taken his instruction. His little pixie form began dancing around the room in excitement that I had acted on his tip off: he was exhilarated.

It was a little thing - but in listening to Tiarnan and acting on his intention, I think I did much to reach through to him. What does he think now: that Daddy listens to him.

It was a good moment.

By the way, the boys didn't go back to their wrestling.

(If you would like to read more of Tiarnan, fifteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and five months, or Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted children and gifted adults. Thanks.)

Fintan puzzles at the fairness of the world

About two weeks ago, Fintan came into our room in the morning, with a question on his lips.

"Daddy...why are there four boys and only one mummy?" He pointed at me, himself and his brothers, as he said so.

His voice and face were both concerned - he seemed to think there was something inherently unfair in all of this.

"Well, when mummy has a baby, half of them are boys and half are girls...it just happens that all of them have been boys. That is all."

He listened to this, but wasn't convinced of its fairness. I felt like telling him that mummy would have a girl one day - but didn't - for how could I be sure of that?

I see in this question, and in others that Fintan asks, a developing sense of what is right, true and moral. He senses unfairness in some of the characteristics of the world - and puzzles at them. He is not one to accept that which does not seem just.

Without knowing it, therefore, Fintan is measuring the world against some inner sense of what is fair and just. He has an internal moral sense - and it appears to be developing nicely.

I am happy about that, for one who senses unfairness in the world around them, is also very likely to be one who behaves fairly in their conduct towards others. The development of a moral sense is also a sign of the development of a moral character: the two go together. A child cannot sense immorality, injustice or unfairness - and then behave unjustly, immorally or unfairly - for the child would sense the wrongness of their own behaviour, then, measured against their developing internal standard.

It appears that, in Fintan, at least, a sense of justice and morality develops quite early - after all, he is only three.

I look forward to the good hearted man he promises to become, knowing, as I do, the good-hearted child that he is.