The essence of fatherhood.

Today, The Star newspaper, of Malaysia, published an article they had commissioned from me, on fatherhood. In the article, I have tried to encapsulate our style of parenting in seven parenting principles. These principles form the basis of how we have raised our kids. They are also the principles which allowed our eldest child to develop into a child prodigy.

I am very curious as to what you think of the article. So, let me know what you like about it, below, if you will.

The article is to be found here:

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2012/6/13/lifeliving/11458603&sec=lifeliving

Please share it with your own readers by linking to it from whatever sites you have. I hope that my parenting principles get to be read by many people. I would like to think they helped some people, particularly children. Thank you.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.) 

The unexpected rewards of fatherhood.

Fatherhood comes with many rewards and, it must be said, responsibilities. Curiously, and unexpectedly, in some ways, it also seems to come with a biological reward: better health. A very large study of 138,000 men by the AARP, concluded that men who had fathered children, were 17% less likely to die of cardiovascular disease than men who had never done so.

Rather unflatteringly, researchers compared this health effect, to the benefits of owning a dog. Both share in common a simple mechanism: caring for another. It seems that having someone to care about may bring blessings, other than the immediate rewards that come with expressing such care.

The research did not express any conclusions on whether this effect depended on the number of children in anyway, but was expressed in terms of childless or not childless.

Of course, this effect may be no more than another effect altogether: the ill health that might cause a man to be infertile. So, what we might be seeing here, might not be a positive effect of fatherhood, at all, but a negative effect of the inability to father a child. Either way, it does suggest that, in this narrow respect, fathers are healthier than non-fathers. I find it interesting, for it does suggest some kind of positive selection process for better health in the reproductive system itself. Perhaps evolution hasn’t come to as much of a halt, as many people seem to believe (in truth it is, if anything, faster than before, due to new selection processes at work...not all of them beneficial).

Anyway, this research cheered me a little. As the father of three sons, perhaps they bring me another kind of reward, other than the obvious ones inherent in parenting. If so, thank you to my Three Musketeers! (and to my wife for providing them.)

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

The role of a parent.

The role of a parent is to try to raise a child greater than the one they were, and to give that child a better childhood, than they had.

At least, that is what I aspire to do - though whether I succeed or not, I will leave for others to judge. After all, posterity will see more of the totality of my children's lives, than I am likely to.

I have written the thought, above, for a good reason. I have noted that some parents seem competitive with their children. These parents would never wish the child to grow to be greater than they are. Indeed, they do all they can to frustrate the child's ambitions, consciously or otherwise. To my mind, such "parents" don't know what it means to be a parent. A true parent aspires to nurture a person greater than themselves. The greatest success a parent can have is to be outshone, by one's children. In truth, of course, the parent is not eclipsed by the child's achievements, but revealed by them - for in them, lies evidence of the parents' ability to nurture the growth of another human being, to guide their offspring to greatness, of whatever kind.

A parent is not made greater, by being greater than their children. A parent is made greater, if their children are "greater" than they were, for, in so achieving, the parent has succeeded in creating a more nurturant life, for their offspring, than they must have had themselves. So, paradoxical as it might seem, the greatest success a parent can have is to raise children greater than themselves. Raising children is the ultimate act of creativity - one of infinite complexity and subtlety. To do that so well, that the child seems greater than the parent, is true greatness indeed.

Contrast this attitude and outlook, to those parents who seek to overshadow their children and thereby make themselves seem "greater". It is a more common attitude than might be supposed. Many a mother, with an attractive daughter, finds herself dressing to compete for attention, with her young offspring. It is a foolish way to feel. I am pleased that my children are better looking than I am. I do not feel lesser by comparison, but, in fact, feel enhanced that they are so attractive. Indeed, I am delighted by every manner in which they do things which I could not, or which differ, in some way, from the child I was, in an interesting fashion.

Perhaps it could be said that a sane parent delights in every accomplishment of their children - and that an insane one may resent them.

What those who are uncomfortable watching their children's talents grow, perhaps into areas in which their own never flourished, should imbibe is that the more brightly the child shines, the more light they throw upon their parents. A parent is never lessened, by the greatness of their child. In fact, the greatness of a parent, may be defined by the greatness of the child. The greatest parents of all, are those who manage, through their words, deeds and choices, to create children that others consider to surpass them. What the observers overlook, however, is that to create a being that surpasses oneself, is to show skill as a parent, that none may surpass.

I would like nothing more than to bring children into this world, who are better than me, in every way. Now, I don't know if this is possible, but at least, by trying to do so, I am aspiring to be the best parent, anyone can be. As a parting thought, it seems to me that, if all parents, tried to make children greater than themselves, that this world would, very soon, become a much better place than it is. Of course, it must not be forgotten, that this goal of generational advance, cannot be achieved by pushing the children. They must instead be encouraged, nurtured, guided, loved and most importantly, listened to. Nowhere, in this particular parenting recipe, is there any room for "pushing". That, in my view, is always going to fail.

Happy parenting all. May your children be greater than you are! I can think of no better blessing - nor one that could change the world, more, for the better.


(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html
and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here: http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks. You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

The colleague I made one day.

I had no idea, when my first son was born, that in a few years, he would, essentially, become not only my son, but my colleague, too.

Before Ainan, I had never really had a close scientific colleague with whom I could discuss ideas and consider possibilties. Although Ainan is only eight years old, talking to him is not like talking to an eight year old - it is like holding a discussion with a very creative, fast thinking adult scientist. I find it refreshing. All my life I have lacked such stimulation (I didn't find it at Cambridge University, for instance) but, now, in my own home, I have as much of it as I want or could ever need - all I have to do is begin a sentence with "Ainan..." and I am soon deep into a wide-ranging, scientifically profound conversation. It is wonderful.

I don't know what the future of the intellectual side of my relationship with my son will hold. Yet, I can say: the present is pretty good. I have had the best scientific conversations in my life with Ainan since he was five years old. No other conversation, with adult scientists, has proven as remotely interesting.

Fatherhood is full of surprises - and some of them are much more rewarding than one could ever have anticipated.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.)