Childhood stories, in the eyes of a child.

A few days ago, my wife Syahidah, told a story to her youngest son, Tiarnan, 6. The story was not a happy one. It was about a cruel old woman, who didn’t feed her cat, until the cat’s fur started to fall out. Eventually, the cat died of starvation.

On finishing the story, Syahidah looked expectantly at Tiarnan for a reaction. She expected him to empathize with the cat and be unhappy with the old woman.

Tiarnan looked thoughtful.

“Did the old woman have enough food for herself in the first place?”, he enquired, gently, of his surprised mother.

That was a thought that had not occurred to her. Tiarnan had come upon his own alternative interpretation of the possible story behind the events described.

His face grew even more intent.

“Also did the fur really fall out because of the lack of food? I see Mochi and Sushi pulling each other’s fur out.”

Mochi and Sushi are our female rabbits.

These two little thoughts, of Tiarnan’s left Syahidah rather impressed. They showed that Tiarnan wasn’t accepting the story at face value – at the value the writing of the story was trying to lead him to hold. No. Tiarnan was re-examining the story for other possible explanations and seeing in it, other reasons for why the events had unfolded as they had – reasons which absolved the old woman of personal blame and shifted the blame onto unfortunate circumstances, instead.

Tiarnan’s thinking, here, showed both creativity and critical analysis – and the ability to form his own view, apart from any view he was being led to believe. These are hopeful characteristics and bespeak the growth of an independent mind likely to hold its own views, no matter what the majority says. His is a young mind likely to grow into an original thinker, irrespective of what might commonly be believed.

What is most indicative of a creative mind at work, here, is that he did not accept the view he was being led to hold, but examined the situation for himself, testing it against his own understanding of the possibilities. He thought it through for himself, coming to his own conception of what was happening, or at least his own consideration of what might have been happening. He used his imagination for what the possible underlying truths might be. In doing so he was forming theories of motivation and circumstance, to explain observed behaviour - theories which were not stated in the story, but which he inferred would explain the observed actions, if they were operant. This is both quite complex thinking and creative, too, for he needed to invent possible explanations and reality test them for explanatory and predictive value, given his understanding of human behavioural possibilities. I would characterize this thinking as independent, mature, creative and insightful...and that is rather heartening to note in one just six years old.

Tiarnan is showing a very interesting blend of characteristics, in his thinking, in his personality and in the way he does things. His is a very complex young mind, in many ways, with multiple unexpected dispositions held in one mind. I will elucidate on these characteristics over time, in other posts – just let it be said, here, that Tiarnan promises to become a deep and subtle young man, one day.

In the meantime, as he grows up, he will, no doubt, be able to teach his mother, alternative ways of seeing the childhood stories she tells him. I wonder who will learn more, the son or the mother?

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Analyzing Hollywood's social rules.

About six weeks ago, or so, Tiarnan was watching a TV series, with us. It was a fairly tame and "safe" programme, for our children to watch, with us, largely speaking. However, one dramatic moment led to an interesting series of observations from Tiarnan, four.

A young man and woman on the screen suddenly kissed each other. It wasn't a long kiss or an overly emphatic one, but Tiarnan had already learnt the rules of the house and knew that what might follow was not for him to watch.

He piped up then, in his high little voice: "I knew that was going to happen.", he declared, looking up at his mummy, on whose lap he sat.

"Why?", she asked, softly, knowing that his reasoning is likely to be far more interesting than his observation.

"Because there was a boy and a girl alone in a room, together.", he said. "They always kiss."

He was very serious as he spoke, his analytical mind at work, assessing the onscreen behaviour of Hollywood "people".

"What if a girl and a girl are in a room, then?", asked Syahidah, without the smile she no doubt felt like making.

"Oh. Then they just talk.", said Tiarnan, with certainty.

"How about a boy and a boy?"

"Just talk.", he repeated, with a nod.

We both found the way he had summed up Hollywood character behaviour rather interesting. For a start, he was right: out of all the shows he had seen - been allowed to see - that was precisely the pattern of behaviour of the characters on screen. He had not seen any gay characters, of either sex. So, the laws of behaviour that he had derived are accurate. What is also of interest is that Tiarnan had developed the ability to predict what was going to happen on screen, from the elements of the scene: who was in shot, in relation to who else was or was not in shot. To my mind, this is very revealing of how he is coming to understand the social world. Tiarnan is actually inferring and deducing laws of behaviour. He is constructing social patterns, from his Hollywood experiences. Given this, of course, I am led to feel an even greater responsibility over what material he watches - because I would not want him to start inferring incorrect rules of behaviour, or ones that reflected too much a poor set of values with which I don't agree.

Another lesson from this conversation is that Hollywood is influential in much more subtle ways than whether it shows sex or violence. Children might be learning such things as social behaviour from Hollywood films - or how adults are supposed to interact. Thus it is one needs to be even more watchful over the kinds of viewing experiences they have. What they might be learning from the shows, might not be what is obvious at all. Tiarnan is learning about the rules of the social world, from Hollywood fiction: I wonder what else he is learning from it?

I will have to watch and listen to him with care, on the matter. Perhaps there are more surprises to be found.

Analyzing Hollywood's social rules.

About six weeks ago, or so, Tiarnan was watching a TV series, with us. It was a fairly tame and "safe" programme, for our children to watch, with us, largely speaking. However, one dramatic moment led to an interesting series of observations from Tiarnan, four.

A young man and woman on the screen suddenly kissed each other. It wasn't a long kiss or an overly emphatic one, but Tiarnan had already learnt the rules of the house and knew that what might follow was not for him to watch.

He piped up then, in his high little voice: "I knew that was going to happen.", he declared, looking up at his mummy, on whose lap he sat.

"Why?", she asked, softly, knowing that his reasoning is likely to be far more interesting than his observation.

"Because there was a boy and a girl alone in a room, together.", he said. "They always kiss."

He was very serious as he spoke, his analytical mind at work, assessing the onscreen behaviour of Hollywood "people".

"What if a girl and a girl are in a room, then?", asked Syahidah, without the smile she no doubt felt like making.

"Oh. Then they just talk.", said Tiarnan, with certainty.

"How about a boy and a boy?"

"Just talk.", he repeated, with a nod.

We both found the way he had summed up Hollywood character behaviour rather interesting. For a start, he was right: out of all the shows he had seen - been allowed to see - that was precisely the pattern of behaviour of the characters on screen. He had not seen any gay characters, of either sex. So, the laws of behaviour that he had derived are accurate. What is also of interest is that Tiarnan had developed the ability to predict what was going to happen on screen, from the elements of the scene: who was in shot, in relation to who else was or was not in shot. To my mind, this is very revealing of how he is coming to understand the social world. Tiarnan is actually inferring and deducing laws of behaviour. He is constructing social patterns, from his Hollywood experiences. Given this, of course, I am led to feel an even greater responsibility over what material he watches - because I would not want him to start inferring incorrect rules of behaviour, or ones that reflected too much a poor set of values with which I don't agree.

Another lesson from this conversation is that Hollywood is influential in much more subtle ways than whether it shows sex or violence. Children might be learning such things as social behaviour from Hollywood films - or how adults are supposed to interact. Thus it is one needs to be even more watchful over the kinds of viewing experiences they have. What they might be learning from the shows, might not be what is obvious at all. Tiarnan is learning about the rules of the social world, from Hollywood fiction: I wonder what else he is learning from it?

I will have to watch and listen to him with care, on the matter. Perhaps there are more surprises to be found.

The fate of genius.

How do geniuses fare in life? Is their success inevitable? I ask this for a reason. Today, someone from Washingtonville, New York, arrived on my blog with the provocative search terms: "Why do geniuses often fail in life?"

Well, one wonders, firstly: do they? It is difficult to answer this question, for there are no stats to bring to bear on the matter, that I know of. However, it is easy to source anecdotes which suggest that many people, of great talent, live lives beneath their potential. We all, in fact, know such people: people whose intelligence sparkles, in conversation, but whose lives look a little dull by comparison - something is missing, something never happened.

So, let us assume that the assumption of my blog searcher from Washingtonville, is correct. Let us take it that geniuses do often fail in life. Yet, is that the right question? I think we should rather be asking why does life fail geniuses?

You see, the life of a genius is not the easy picture everyone seems to think. There is the basic assumption, of all, that the greatest of intellectual gifts mean that the possessor is blessed with an "easy life" and that, in some way, one should be envious of them. This is, I think, a misplaced envy. Genius is not an easy burden: it is to carry the weight of expectations of a humanity unwilling to help. Everyone expects great things of the "genius" - but they expect them begrudgingly, not really wanting the genius to accomplish them, for how "bad" it would make the ordinary person look by comparison. Thus, the achievement is both expected and resented beforehand. It is a strange circumstance, for the genius is resented for things not yet done: a jealousy permeates the air, for achievements not yet made and which may never be made. It is most bizarre. It is as if the whole of the rest of humanity, imagines the genius' "fated" future life and begrudges them for its lustre - then sits back and hopes desperately that it doesn't happen - or does, more to the point, everything they can to frustrate all progress.

No-one, on Earth, is more hated than a genius, in their early years. Their self-evident gift is a spur to every darker emotion in people: hate and envy gleam in every eye - and for what? Because those others, see, they know that the genius is "better" than they are - and they loathe them for it.

To be a genius is thus to be barred from acceptance by humanity. It is to be thrust out, by an essential difference, into a category of one's own. It is a great thing to be a genius - for, Humanity is only ever united in the presence of one: united in envy of the "Great One".

It is a truth, that all of significant talent, come to observe - that the only admired genius, is a dead genius. It is, you see, impossible to be envious of the dead. Thus, only when a genius is safely interred, will the envy slough away, and the admiration come to the fore. Geniuses have the bizarre distinction of being universally hated in life, and universally loved in death. Most people would rather choose the opposite condition - but it is not for the genius to choose: they were born the way they are and cannot trade it for the alternative. So long as they rise far above the common herd of man, that herd, that sheep-like mass, will despise them for it. That leads us to why so many geniuses "fail".

The only course of action, for a genius who wishes to have a happy life, is to give up being who they are. A genius who "fails" is an ordinary man, once more. A genius who "fails" may be accepted, finally. A genius who "fails" is one who succeeds, in life. For, it is clear, that if a genius fails, they come to be seen to be human again. They can, for the very first time, be embraced as "one of us" - and so, at last, at long, long, last, be befriended by the bulk of Man. A genius who "fails" is a genius who learns how to be loved in life - and forgotten in death.

So, the dilemma of a genius is a difficult one. They must choose either to succeed in becoming who they should be, in expressing what only they can see, and, therefore, step so far outside the limits of the common Man, that there could never be anything in common with that Man. Or they can choose to hide their essence, to leave their thoughts unexpressed and undeveloped, to muffle their inner longings to create and become a semblance of what others are. They can choose to be "normal" or, at least, seem normal in every functional way, by not functioning outside of the norm. If they make this choice, they lose the happiness and sense of fulfilment that attends the highest creative activity - but they gain, in return, acceptance by the wider world; they may be embraced by the community, loved as every "ordinary joe" is loved - in that diffuse kind of way, that comes from thinking that "you" are "one of us".

So, it is not geniuses who fail in life. It is life that fails geniuses. Life fails geniuses by not allowing them the space to be. A genius must choose either a life within the community - or a life outside of it, in a very real sense. You see, if your work, the products of your mind and, indeed, the fullness of your inner thought, are beyond the understanding of the common man, then you, truly, have nothing in common with that man. There is no means to find genuine mutual understanding. It is to be a natural outsider - and, as you probably know, most people never reach out to the outsiders of this world - in fact, they enjoy debarring them, from the shared discourse of all. They feel unified by their act of exclusion.

Geniuses fail, because no-one wants them to succeed - or at least, no-one wants a living genius to succeed. They are quite happy to note that a dead genius, did, since there is nothing threatening about the mental powers of a corpse. Indeed, most living people have the mental powers of a corpse - so they probably feel quite well-disposed to one just like themselves, once the genius has died.

Geniuses discover that there is nothing more adept at working together, than the whole of Man, against the genius, if they are so foolish, as to reveal themselves. Thus, the socially skilled genius (no doubt there are some), notes this and chooses dissemblance - and the most effective means of disguising genius is to do nothing with it, at all. There. Done. "Happy"...but unfulfilled.

Indeed, it seems to me that the only geniuses who would not choose to make this choice are the socially inept geniuses. These would not, perhaps, understand the problem, would not act appropriately upon it, and persist in - oh the cheek of it! - being true to themselves and continue to create their works that so offend Man, whilst they live, but shall so delight them, once they die.

Thus, it is not that geniuses lack social skills - it is just that the only geniuses that we come to acknowledge as geniuses (usually after they are safely decomposed) - are the ones who lacked the social skill to work out how to "fit in" and be socially accepted.

So, there is one thing that a genius may never do, in public, and be accepted - and that is: create! As long as the genius persists in being incapable of being a genius, then they will find themselves quite capable of being loved by all.

So, if you are a genius - what choice have you made: to be loved in life, and forgotten in death...or loathed in life, and loved forevermore, once you are no longer able to feel it?

It is not much of a choice, is it?

Well, there is a solution. Any society which welcomed genius, would suddenly find that it had more of them. Thus, the answer is in all your hands: accept geniuses for what they are, love them for what they do - and don't for a minute feel a twinge of envy. If you can manage this, if the whole of Mankind can manage this, life for all would improve at an immense rate, as all the world's dissembling, self-defeating, "fitting-in" geniuses suddenly get to work, without fear of being loathed for it.

Overnight, there would be a revolution in the fortunes of Man - and all you have to do is stop hating and start loving. Now.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

IMDB is the Internet Movie Database for film and tv professionals. If you would like to look at my IMDb listing for which another fifteen credits are to be uploaded, (which will probably take several months before they are accepted) please go to: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3438598/ As I write, the listing is new and brief - however, by the time you read this it might have a dozen or a score of credits...so please do take a look. My son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, also has an IMDb listing. His is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3305973/ My wife, Syahidah Osman Cawley, has a listing as well. Hers is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

The language of a natural diplomat.

A couple of months ago, Tiarnan, then twenty-six months, showed his understanding of other people.

His mother, Syahidah, had given him a series of instructions, in English, to convey to his grandfather. He listened to her carefully and when she had finished, ran off to find his granddad.

When he got to his grandfather, he began to tell him, idea for idea, what she had asked him to convey - but he did so in MALAY, NOT ENGLISH. He translated it all, perfectly.

Syahidah was surprised that he had done this. Tiarnan's grandfather speaks both English and Malay - but he is most comfortable in Malay. Clearly, Tiarnan had noticed this - and so selected Malay as his granddad's preferred language.

Tiarnan's grandfather, Osman, laughed at this: "He doesn't think my English is good!"

I thought it telling that Tiarnan actually took the trouble to evaluate Osman's perspective, and to realize that Malay would be a better choice for him. The simplest thing, for him, would have been to just relay it all, as he had heard it, in English - but he did not do so: he translated it into Malay (for quite a lot of information) and relayed that instead.

It is funny to see how much Tiarnan understands of other people's needs. Perhaps the art of diplomacy (and social skills) start young.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and five months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and ten months, and Tiarnan, twenty-seven months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind)

Strategic thinking about social situations

Fintan, four, has a good understanding of the social world. He seems to peer into the motives of others and make judgement calls that are well-founded in an understanding of human behaviour. Sometimes, however, this leads to comic, though justified remarks.

A few days ago, Syahidah asked Fintan whom he would like to take to the cinema with him. He looked up at her and said, rather quickly: "Abang Ainan, because he doesn't eat. If I took Tiarnan, he might eat my popcorn."

He didn't get his wish, however. In the end, he went with his mother, father - and Tiarnan. Ainan was elsewhere.

He was right. Tiarnan ate his popcorn. He wasn't too put out, though - since I had got an extra large box of it, for him, just in case his prediction turned out to be correct.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and five months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and ten months, and Tiarnan, twenty-seven months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind, niño, gênio criança, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

A socially aware child: interpersonal intelligence

Fintan is a very socially aware child. In being so, he shows a generous degree of interpersonal intelligence. This is the intellectual function proposed as one of the multiple intelligences, by Howard Gardner - its counterpart is intrapersonal intelligence (knowing oneself).

A couple of weeks ago, it was a hot day. Syahidah and Fintan were in the Dempsey Road area of Singapore - which is a sheltered enclave of idiosyncratic shops and restaurants in low-lying buildings. They recall earlier times when Singapore had more space: it is popular with expats, perhaps for that very reason.

Fintan, four, and Syahidah were walking through the area, casting an eye into the shops that they passed. They had already been there some while and it was nearly time to go home. Suddenly, Syahidah said: "Let's go into the organic shop, Fintan."

They did so. Syahidah walked aimlessly around for a while, in its cool interior, then asked a shop assistant: "Do you have kale?"

"No."

Syahidah lingered in the shop with Fintan, until finally she left with him.

Fintan, four, was studying his mother very carefully. "Mummy, you didn't want anything in that shop did you? You just wanted to go in because of the aircon."

The funny thing is, he was right. Syahidah had just sought the relief of the aircon against the heat of the sunlit outside. She didn't really intend to buy kale, or anything else for that matter. Somehow, Fintan had divined this.

This is not the only time Fintan has seen through matters to their social truth. He often catches the real meaning of what is happening, to a surprising degree.

I think, of all the different ways a child can be smart, this particular one is among the most useful in the long run. After all, understanding people and their ways has implications for success in all areas of life.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and five months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and ten months, and Tiarnan, twenty-seven months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind, niño, gênio criança, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Reserved silence and social maturity

I had the privilege to observe Ainan, yesterday, in an impromptu classroom situation.

It was at a Science Show in the Mall event. These are events put on by the Science Centre and ASTAR - Singapore's Agency for Science Technology and Research (I think that is how it goes).

It was an all afternoon affair, but it was the end of it, that drew my attention.

Ainan sat with perhaps 50 other kids, listening to the presenters who were asking scientific questions of the audience. At every question, one, two or three kids would raise their hands, their faces straining to be the one chosen to answer. Ainan, however, was much cooler than that. He sat, with his mother and, instead of raising his arm would lean over to her and relay the answer to her.

I was some distance away but I could read the answers on his lips. Then another child would be chosen to answer. They would go up, answer the question into a mike, then receive a prize. Ainan, however, didn't rise to this particular bait - prize or no prize, he never let his arm rise into the air. He just leant over and answered each of the perhaps twenty questions to his mother. He made no effort to draw the presenters attention to himself, he didn't shout out an answer nor raise his arm.

I thought this very revealing. It seems that Ainan has learnt the social value of discretion. What benefit would come to him from answering all the questions? He would learn nothing more - but he might alienate the other children. So, what did he do instead? He answered none of them publicly - yet I could see that he knew the answers. He was taking a more discrete path.

I found myself impressed by this. It seems that he has acquired a certain social wisdom in the past year. He has learnt that it is better to be discrete than to shout out one's knowledge. He is more likely to have friends that way, and more likely to be accepted. He has, it seems, no need for the ego boost that comes from being seen to be the one who knows. He, instead, prefers to know that he knows - and to let his mother know, too. That is enough for him.

Ainan is, it seems, learning how to adjust to the social world rather more effectively than I had hoped. Relatively few gifted children learn to be this discrete, so early on - after all Ainan is yet only 7. It is a hopeful sign, therefore, that he will be able to navigate the social issues ahead that he shall no doubt face.

I wonder how many teachers, however, would understand the quiet child, who knows but doesn't show that he knows? Most would misunderstand, of course. Yet, what he would lose from the teacher, he would gain from his fellows: so it might, indeed, be a fair trade. It is no good having one teacher on your side, when to do so, you lose 40 kids. That doesn't seem wise. Ainan has chosen the socially more enriching path. A reserved silence is what one can expect from this particular gifted child in the classroom.

What do you have to do to find out what's on his mind? Have a quiet chat with him, away from the multitude of observers. Then he will let his guard down.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and eleven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and four months, and Tiarnan, twenty-one months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Social skills in toddlers

Tiarnan is eighteen months old. Though yet young, he has shown, on many occasions, an unexpected social adroitness that is often funny in its aptness.

A week ago, Tiarnan was moving about a lot in a taxi.

His mother, Syahidah, said: "Sit down."

"I don't want to." he replied firmly and continued to investigate the interior of the taxi, energetically.

Seeing that her own request wasn't working, Syahidah tried another tack.

"The uncle will scold you.", she said, referring to the taxi driver.

He stopped, then, to observe the taxi driver.

The driver duly played along and looked fiercely at Tiarnan.

Yet, Tiarnan wasn't phased. He clambered forward to the centre of the taxi, betwixt the seats, leant forward, and gently patted the driver on his forearm, to pacify him, all the time looking up into his face.

It was such a disarming thing to do, and so aptly timed, that, had the driver genuinely been angry, I am sure that that would have mollified him: who could be angry after such a display?

It is often surprising how complex, subtle and appropriate the social behaviour of a young child can be. Particularly, if that child has shown some skill in social circumstances. Tiarnan is one such: he always seem to know what to do, to create just the right result for him.

(If you would like to learn more of Tiarnan, eighteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and eight months, or Fintan, four years and one month, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, genetics, left-handedness, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Genius and long-term relationships

Do geniuses find long-term relationships difficult to maintain? Is the state of possessing rare powers of the mind, that allow the bearer to think thoughts no-one else has thought, and create works no-one else could have created, something which permanently separates the genius from others?

I ask, as usual, for a reason. Leonardo da Vinci was a striking man in many ways. It was said, that he was physically so impressive that, when he walked through the streets in the morning, on the way to work, that people would line the streets to watch him pass. Everywhere he went he made a vast impression on others. Yet, there is a caveat. You see in all his relatively long life (given the time), Leonardo da Vinci maintained NO long-term relationships, barring that with his adopted son (who was 10 years old at the beginning of their acquaintance).

Why was it that a man of Leonardo's legendary fame - which he achieved in his own lifetime - could not cultivate a range of long-term friendships? Everyone in his life was temporary - they passed on and through, leaving him alone.

Leonardo is known in name, by all alive, in the developed world - yet, in his lifetime, he had few who knew him well - and none who knew him long.

Was this some peculiarity of Leonardo da Vinci himself - or is it the common burden of all men and women of genius?

I have considered this question and believe that the answer is that, for many men and women of genius, the gulf that exists between them, and their more ordinary fellows, is too wide to cross readily and often. They are thus divorced from society. Many of them will, therefore, succumb to solitude, rather than revel in The Other. Yet, all is not lost. People of genius usually find greatest pleasure in their creative work - which, of course, for most disciplines, best proceeds in solitude.

Thus, though sad from a human standpoint, that Leonardo so lacked long-term human contact, from the point of view of his work, and the creative abundance he gave rise to, it is undoubtedly a great blessing on the rest of Mankind, that his mind was turned, so necessarily, towards his work, than towards social interaction. It is certain that Leonardo owed a significant proportion of his creative output, to the solitude that he would have so often found himself in.

So, from a wider perspective, it is for the greater good that geniuses are not so socially engaged, as others are - even if, from a more normal perspective, one would think that they are missing one of the greatest pleasures of human life: friends and love relationships.

(If you would like to read more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and eight months, a scientific child prodigy, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and one month, Tiarnan, eighteen months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Albert Einstein on gifted isolation.

The more gifted a child is, the more alone they tend to be.

This is not the product of a deficit, in them, generally, but a deficiency in others: the willingness to accept one of difference, in their midst. The more superior one's mind, to those around, the less likely one is to find sufficient common ground to build a solid friendship, of any kind, unless the gifted child (or gifted adult) ventures to be inauthentic and pretends to be other than they are, simply to win acceptance. Either path is a lost cause - for neither really wins true acceptance.

There is much that I can say on this, but I will keep this post brief and end it with Albert Einstein's observation on the gifted condition, as it applied to his rather special circumstance:

"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely." They are among the saddest words a genius has ever spoken (second I would think, though, to Leonardo Da Vinci's last words, referred to in another post).

Einstein lived a significant portion of his life as a world famous man. He was instantly recognizable everywhere he went. There was no escaping the recognition in others' eyes: it was universal. Yet, he protested, in this frank comment, that the whole experience had done nothing to assuage his loneliness. He was still a solitary figure by most standards. He still stood alone in the social world, much as he had, at one time, in the intellectual world. What was it that made him so alone? Ironically, the very gift that had made him so famous, made him so different from others that he could not meet his match: there were too few people with whom he could really have any worthwhile engagement, for long.

To some degree, this is the fate of all who are most gifted - if their gifts are enough to set them truly apart. Even the best of social skills can only create a range of friendships that fail to satisfy the deepest needs of the most gifted - for they cannot, in truth, find a match for themselves in them. They must satisfy themselves with the shallows of life and the depths of their work.

I am not sure if there is any satisfactory way around this phenomenon. Perhaps, the most gifted should accept the situation for what it is, and find most fulfilment in their work. Oddly enough, that is exactly what most geniuses do. It seems they knew what to do all along.

Brotherly love and solidarity

Tiarnan is a little boy of big emotions. Though only fifteen months old, he shows an interesting degree of complexity in his social interactions and emotional responses.

A few days ago, Syahidah scolded Fintan, for something or other. Tiarnan was a witness to this. On seeing that Fintan was upset by this, he took it upon himself to deal with the matter. He followed his mother out of the living area and into the kitchen and, when he finally reached her, he gave her an overarm slap, with all the not very mighty force of his diminutive frame. Then, having satisfied his innate sense of justice he hurried back to Fintan, where he sat beside him, sharing a silent solidarity with him.

It was touching to see this demonstration of togetherness with his much larger brother: there they sat, a Laurel and Hardy like pair - Tiarnan, appearing slender, delicate and dwarfed by his much stockier, three year old brother Fintan.

It is in such displays that we can read the love children have for each other. Tiarnan is very attached to his mother - yet, on seeing his brother scolded, he took umbrage - and sided with his sibling.

(If you would like to read more of Tiarnan, fifteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and five months, or Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted children and gifted adults in general. Thanks.)

Ainan, the unconscious actor?

Over the past few months, Ainan has adopted a range of expressions which I had not seen on his face before. These expressions are incongruous when set against what I know of him. Where have they come from and why are they there?

Recently, I had the chance to find out. I managed to observe a number of children from his classroom and watch how they were. After a while, I noted something really peculiar: I saw those expressions of Ainan on another's face. At once, I understood: Ainan had acquired expressions from others - the expressions I had begun to see, were not even his own.

Why would he do this? Well, a gifted child has to do many things to blend into their environment - and to be accepted. Ainan had clearly found another way to be accepted: be like those around him, incorporate their expressions and actions into his repertoire - become, in some superficial sense, as they are.

On the one hand I feel like congratulating Ainan on his socially skillful manoeuvre. How can a child not accept another child that echoes himself? On the other hand, I feel saddened, for Ainan is sloughing off some of his own uniqueness in social situations, to become more like the people he is with and so allow him to be accepted. He is being less of himself in public.

There is another matter which concerns me. The expressions themselves fit another personality. One set of them fits a rather foolish personality - so it is really startling when Ainan uses these expressions - because they are those of a fool. Anyone who did not know Ainan, on seeing this, would seriously misjudge him. In those expressions, he has captured the essence of dullness. It is quite perturbing to see Ainan assume such a face. Yet, assume it he does, for social reasons.

Is Ainan consciously acting or unconsciously doing so? I would guess that it began as conscious imitation but has since become an unconscious pattern repertoire, which he deploys in what seems like a suitable situation.

Perhaps, if Ainan were away from that social context he would, over time, drop this new behaviour and become as he was. In many ways, I would prefer that - but I understand why he is doing this. It helps him be accepted - and he is successful at it, for he has many friends. Yet, it may be true to say that some of these friendships have come at a price - the price of altering his social self to fit those around him.

On balance, however, I feel happy that Ainan has the social skills and personality to allow him many friends. For many gifted children, in his position, are almost friendless. It seems that he knows how to behave to make others comfortable with him - and to get them to like him. I suppose that that is another kind of gift. Yet, it is disconcerting to see one of those social skills at work, sometimes.

Perhaps this is the way with all of us. We are different in different contexts. So, too, is it with Ainan - but it was a surprise for me to come to understand what was happening.

Fintan, mummy's personal coach

Yesterday, my wife Syahidah was in a hurry to get ready. Fintan was watching this, but had something on his mind, that he wanted his mother to attend to.

"Not now, Fintan, I have to hurry to see Daddy!" she said to him.

He took this well, setting aside his wishes, in a rather mature fashion. You have to remember that Fintan is a curly headed three year old and picture that in your mind.

He then said to his mother, in a comical choice of words: "You go girl!", as if he were the older one, and she his charge.

It was almost as if he was on the Opray Show, hearing such words on his lips. His vocabulary surprises me at times and the way he chooses to use it: it is whimsical and expresses a character all of his own. I think that is the department in which Fintan really shines - the social one. In some ways, that is one of the more useful attributes to have.