How not to secure a publisher.

Many, many years ago, when I still thought of life as long, I was in the Chelsea Arts Club, in London.

It was around Christmas time, and there was a party going on. I was a guest of a friend of mine who worked at the Club and was not, myself, a member.

I remember one balding and earnest looking man approaching the padded couch where I sat, by a convenient table. He looked at me, a little unsure of himself, holding his drink - and asked: "Is it OK if I sit here?"

I nodded.

"I thought I should ask," he went on, still a little unsure of himself, "because I am not a member, you know."

Neither was I - but I wasn't going to advertise the fact, as he was doing. Clearly, he felt out of place.

We began to chat. It was Christmas and even the English are friendly, at that time.

He was an amiable man and we seemed to be getting along well. Then I asked him what he did.

"I'm a publisher.", he said, without any idea that this might be a problem for him.

"Oh? I write." I said, without any idea that this might be a problem for me.

He cringed a little, almost too quickly for me to see and visibly pulled back in his seat. I understood, at once, why: he feared that I was just about to launch upon the "I've written a book..." spiel that he must have encountered too many times before. Here was a publisher, out for the night, with no desire to be pitched, yet again, for business.

I noted his reaction - and changed the subject. I didn't tell him anything of my book project, at all. He seemed so relieved and the evening, which had just threatened to become embarrassing, went ahead well.

At the end of our conversation, we didn't even exchange contact details. There was something in me that felt that he wouldn't welcome it, given his avoidance of randomly encountered writers.

However, I did gain something from our meeting. I shall never forget his instinctual cringe at the word "write" - from a man whose livelihood depends on words. Surely, publishers must be a besieged breed, with every writer in the world camped on their doorsteps. It can't be comfortable.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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Ainan, the unconscious actor?

Over the past few months, Ainan has adopted a range of expressions which I had not seen on his face before. These expressions are incongruous when set against what I know of him. Where have they come from and why are they there?

Recently, I had the chance to find out. I managed to observe a number of children from his classroom and watch how they were. After a while, I noted something really peculiar: I saw those expressions of Ainan on another's face. At once, I understood: Ainan had acquired expressions from others - the expressions I had begun to see, were not even his own.

Why would he do this? Well, a gifted child has to do many things to blend into their environment - and to be accepted. Ainan had clearly found another way to be accepted: be like those around him, incorporate their expressions and actions into his repertoire - become, in some superficial sense, as they are.

On the one hand I feel like congratulating Ainan on his socially skillful manoeuvre. How can a child not accept another child that echoes himself? On the other hand, I feel saddened, for Ainan is sloughing off some of his own uniqueness in social situations, to become more like the people he is with and so allow him to be accepted. He is being less of himself in public.

There is another matter which concerns me. The expressions themselves fit another personality. One set of them fits a rather foolish personality - so it is really startling when Ainan uses these expressions - because they are those of a fool. Anyone who did not know Ainan, on seeing this, would seriously misjudge him. In those expressions, he has captured the essence of dullness. It is quite perturbing to see Ainan assume such a face. Yet, assume it he does, for social reasons.

Is Ainan consciously acting or unconsciously doing so? I would guess that it began as conscious imitation but has since become an unconscious pattern repertoire, which he deploys in what seems like a suitable situation.

Perhaps, if Ainan were away from that social context he would, over time, drop this new behaviour and become as he was. In many ways, I would prefer that - but I understand why he is doing this. It helps him be accepted - and he is successful at it, for he has many friends. Yet, it may be true to say that some of these friendships have come at a price - the price of altering his social self to fit those around him.

On balance, however, I feel happy that Ainan has the social skills and personality to allow him many friends. For many gifted children, in his position, are almost friendless. It seems that he knows how to behave to make others comfortable with him - and to get them to like him. I suppose that that is another kind of gift. Yet, it is disconcerting to see one of those social skills at work, sometimes.

Perhaps this is the way with all of us. We are different in different contexts. So, too, is it with Ainan - but it was a surprise for me to come to understand what was happening.