Is it better to be ordinary, than a genius?

Recently, someone from Concordia University, in Quebec, Montreal arrived on my blog with the search terms: “being ordinary is better than being a genius.” Are they right?

To be a genius is, necessarily, to be apart from others: their nature separates them from the mass, in ways which are unbridgeable. Yet, is this so bad?

The searcher seems to believe that it is better to be an ordinary person, unvisited by great talents. Now, from the point of view of “fitting in” this is quite clearly so. An ordinary person finds no difficulty in fitting into the mass around them. They are naturally accepted, for their evident commonalities. Their thoughts do not betray them as different. Their chosen actions are readily comprehended. Nothing that they do or are, is surprising to the general mass of people. I suppose this ready acceptance is what the searcher was thinking of. It should, therefore, be easier to be “happy” as an ordinary person, than to be “happy” as a genius. Yet is this meaningful?

A genius is, by definition, alone. They are innately singular in that their gifts distinguish them from all others. Some, therefore, might become lonely. Most however would find enough reward in their creative work, not to be overly concerned about a reasonable measure of personal isolation. Many geniuses in history were quite isolated. Yet, they lived fulfilling lives. In general, they received a great sense of achievement from their work, which, I suggest, to a great degree would have compensated for any relative lack in other areas.

Then again, even the greatest genius, usually finds enough adequate friends – adequate in the sense of sufficiently intelligent to be interesting to them – even if only by correspondence, to sustain them, socially. They may be relatively isolated, but they are usually not entirely so. The personal contact they have is enough to sustain them. After all the attention they give to their creative work, moderates their need for companionship, in direct proportion to their efforts. The more they work, the less need they have for others. Indeed, in those compelled to work creatively, the presence of others can seem, at times, to be an unwelcome distraction.

In a way, a genius can be more happy than an ordinary person. The reason is simple: a genius can find happiness in creative work, that an ordinary person could not even begin to do. Thus, the genius is not really deprived in the happiness department for they have access to sources of contentment not open to the common man. Thus, it can be seen that the genius is, in fact, luckier than the ordinary person in many ways. The genius can do what the ordinary man cannot and find pleasure in what the ordinary man cannot understand- but the genius can also do all the things that the ordinary man can do and find pleasure in all those things too.

So, the life of a typical genius might be “quieter” and more “isolated” than that of a typical ordinary person – but it is also richer, deeper and ultimately more satisfying.

So, my searcher was wrong in his or her supposition. It is most definitely better to be a genius, than an ordinary person.

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Genius and long-term relationships

Do geniuses find long-term relationships difficult to maintain? Is the state of possessing rare powers of the mind, that allow the bearer to think thoughts no-one else has thought, and create works no-one else could have created, something which permanently separates the genius from others?

I ask, as usual, for a reason. Leonardo da Vinci was a striking man in many ways. It was said, that he was physically so impressive that, when he walked through the streets in the morning, on the way to work, that people would line the streets to watch him pass. Everywhere he went he made a vast impression on others. Yet, there is a caveat. You see in all his relatively long life (given the time), Leonardo da Vinci maintained NO long-term relationships, barring that with his adopted son (who was 10 years old at the beginning of their acquaintance).

Why was it that a man of Leonardo's legendary fame - which he achieved in his own lifetime - could not cultivate a range of long-term friendships? Everyone in his life was temporary - they passed on and through, leaving him alone.

Leonardo is known in name, by all alive, in the developed world - yet, in his lifetime, he had few who knew him well - and none who knew him long.

Was this some peculiarity of Leonardo da Vinci himself - or is it the common burden of all men and women of genius?

I have considered this question and believe that the answer is that, for many men and women of genius, the gulf that exists between them, and their more ordinary fellows, is too wide to cross readily and often. They are thus divorced from society. Many of them will, therefore, succumb to solitude, rather than revel in The Other. Yet, all is not lost. People of genius usually find greatest pleasure in their creative work - which, of course, for most disciplines, best proceeds in solitude.

Thus, though sad from a human standpoint, that Leonardo so lacked long-term human contact, from the point of view of his work, and the creative abundance he gave rise to, it is undoubtedly a great blessing on the rest of Mankind, that his mind was turned, so necessarily, towards his work, than towards social interaction. It is certain that Leonardo owed a significant proportion of his creative output, to the solitude that he would have so often found himself in.

So, from a wider perspective, it is for the greater good that geniuses are not so socially engaged, as others are - even if, from a more normal perspective, one would think that they are missing one of the greatest pleasures of human life: friends and love relationships.

(If you would like to read more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and eight months, a scientific child prodigy, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and one month, Tiarnan, eighteen months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Albert Einstein on gifted isolation.

The more gifted a child is, the more alone they tend to be.

This is not the product of a deficit, in them, generally, but a deficiency in others: the willingness to accept one of difference, in their midst. The more superior one's mind, to those around, the less likely one is to find sufficient common ground to build a solid friendship, of any kind, unless the gifted child (or gifted adult) ventures to be inauthentic and pretends to be other than they are, simply to win acceptance. Either path is a lost cause - for neither really wins true acceptance.

There is much that I can say on this, but I will keep this post brief and end it with Albert Einstein's observation on the gifted condition, as it applied to his rather special circumstance:

"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely." They are among the saddest words a genius has ever spoken (second I would think, though, to Leonardo Da Vinci's last words, referred to in another post).

Einstein lived a significant portion of his life as a world famous man. He was instantly recognizable everywhere he went. There was no escaping the recognition in others' eyes: it was universal. Yet, he protested, in this frank comment, that the whole experience had done nothing to assuage his loneliness. He was still a solitary figure by most standards. He still stood alone in the social world, much as he had, at one time, in the intellectual world. What was it that made him so alone? Ironically, the very gift that had made him so famous, made him so different from others that he could not meet his match: there were too few people with whom he could really have any worthwhile engagement, for long.

To some degree, this is the fate of all who are most gifted - if their gifts are enough to set them truly apart. Even the best of social skills can only create a range of friendships that fail to satisfy the deepest needs of the most gifted - for they cannot, in truth, find a match for themselves in them. They must satisfy themselves with the shallows of life and the depths of their work.

I am not sure if there is any satisfactory way around this phenomenon. Perhaps, the most gifted should accept the situation for what it is, and find most fulfilment in their work. Oddly enough, that is exactly what most geniuses do. It seems they knew what to do all along.

Leonardo's view of Humanity

Yesterday, someone from America made the funniest search I have ever seen. He or she searched with the words: "Why did Leonardo da Vinci think people existed?" This is a reversal of the question posed by one of my posts: Did Leonardo da Vinci exist? Clearly they knew of the post and were responding to it in the most hilarious of ways...yet, I thought about their words - and they have a point.

What would Leonardo da Vinci have thought of the common man, he encountered? What would he have made of the gulf in ability between himself and others? I don't think his views on the matter have been recorded but his case points up the problems the extremely gifted have of relating to others in the world. What could Leonardo da Vinci have found to interest him in the conversation of a typical person of his time? Nothing at all, I would suppose. However, he was fortunate to be famous and well-regarded for this would have given him access to other famous and well-regarded people. He knew, for instance, the King of France - no slouch himself, one would think - and many other brilliant people - so he would have found interesting minds to engage with, because of his social position. Yet, the problem of the common man would have remained. What would Leonardo have thought of their inability compared to him? The comical searcher was not only making a funny search, but making a funny point - if Leonardo was so special that others might doubt the truth of his existence, because he just seems so unlikely, we have to remember that he would have thought of himself as normal - and the others as somehow lacking (from his point of view). Perhaps, indeed, he had puzzled at this disparity - and wondered at the existence of such a difference.

All gifted children and adult must come to terms with this difference between themselves and others. Perhaps the best adjustment is just to accept others as they are - without bemoaning their lack of certain abilities the gifted one might possess. There are other reasons to find someone of interest apart from the quality of their mind. They might be sweet-natured or pleasant to be with. They might be considerate or kind, good or loyal. They might have any number of qualities to be admired that do not depend on raw intelligence. Perhaps it is in these ways that Leonardo adjusted to the world. It is in these ways that any gifted child - or adult - however gifted, can also make an adjustment to the world and its people and come to accept them for what they are.

Yet, I can't help but feel that it must have been difficult, in some ways, to be Leonardo da Vinci.

(If you would like to read about Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and four months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, three and Tiarnan, fourteen months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children. Thanks.)

Gifted isolation or gifted community?

Most gifted people, children or adults, live fairly isolated lives. This is because of the statistical reality of their gifts. If you are more gifted than one in a thousand people, not many of the people you meet in life will be comparable. If you are more gifted than one in ten thousand, you may not encounter any in your life who are as gifted as you - except if you frequent those places where gifted people concentrate. If you are more gifted than one in a million people, it is almost certain that you will never encounter anyone "on your level" in your lifetime. Giftedness can, therefore, be a lonely affair.

Yet, not all is as it seems. One can have a conversation with anyone, on your level, or not. Furthermore, the "gifted communities" that might be available may not be supportive at all. I encountered one, or should I say one encountered me - an American message board, devoted to the extremely gifted - and too many of the comments received about me and my family were highly unpleasant. This would have been poor behaviour coming from anyone - but from a "gifted community support group" it was entirely inappropriate. However, it taught me a lesson: gifted community is not all that it should be and not all that it purports to be.

Before I go on, I should say that some boards do appear to be more friendly places - so there is great variety in the "gifted community support groups" out there. Some will be supportive, some will be jealous, hostile, embittered places that no-one would want to be.

The question you need to answer is: are you happy in your isolation - or do you need "community"? For many, who are honest with themselves, will discover that they have found happiness without the need for "community". Many gifted people express their talents through some complex productive activity - be it creative or not - and it is in this activity that their giftedness is manifest. There is less need for them, therefore, to have a "gifted community" to relate to. There is another issue which you should note. Contact with the gifted community can alter some parents' perspective on their children in ways which are negative. For instance, what if a gifted parent of a moderately gifted child encounters a support group for the profoundly gifted? How is that parent going to feel when he or she learns that their child is not only not so gifted after all, but, in comparison, seemingly not gifted at all? Are they going to be disappointed in their child? Are they going to expect less of them? Before such exposure to the wider gifted community, such a parent may have been happy with their smart kid and have looked forward to a bright future for them. Afterwards, they may not be so happy, nor have such high expectations. Yet, they are wrong to do so, for what it is very important to realize is that how your child will fare in life is NOT dependent on their relationship to the gifted community - but on their relationship to the NON-gifted community. You see, a moderately gifted child is going to become a moderately gifted adult - and, as such, will be smarter than almost everyone they meet. They will be smart enough to succeed in most occupations - and will be able to make a very good contribution in life, in whatever endeavour they choose. In fact, the moderately gifted child may grow into a better adjusted adult, who is consequently more productive, than their more gifted fellows - for the more gifted one is, the harder it can be to adjust to the world as it is.
(The ideal range of giftedness is an IQ 125 to 150 according to one estimate. This is the range of best fit to the environment, that allows most effective use of one's talents, without communication problems between the gifted person and their environment. A moderately gifted person, at IQ 130, say, fits into that range. So does a highly gifted person, at IQ 145.)

A parent must not lose sight of the reality of their child, in comparison to the wider world. Comparison to the gifted community is misleading. You see, the gifted community comprises a very unusual group of people. They are not the wider world. How successful your gifted child will be is dependent on their merit relative to the wider world - and not in comparison to the gifted community. If your child is smarter than the average person, then they will have better opportunities than the average person. It is irrelevant to know that there is some kid much smarter than your own - because that kid is not really the competition for your child, in most endeavours. There are too few extremely gifted children for them to be considered competition for most endeavours - there are just not enough of them to go around.

Contact with the gifted community may produce a lack of appreciation of your child's specialness, by confronting a parent with many children who are as gifted or more gifted than your own. In such an environment, you may UNLEARN an understanding of how special your child is. Your child is special in relation to the average child. In the wider world, it is the average child that your own will encounter most often. It is the average child who will fill many workplaces. These are the ones to measure your child against. Measurement against a child who is one in a million is laughably irrelevant - because there are so few such children and they cannot, in their numerical paucity, ever be competition for your child, in any real sense. Measurement against them, therefore, can only have negative effects - for it may reduce your appreciation of what is special in your own child.

Any gifted parent of a gifted child, therfore, should cherish the specialness of their child in relation to the world as a whole. Gifted community is for those who feel a need to be among those like themselves - and that is an understandable motivation. But if you do venture into the gifted community, choose well among those available - some are positive places, some are not. Furthermore, understand that no matter where your child is on the gifted scale, they remain special in TRUE terms, because they are unusual in relation to the wider world and the typical human. Any gifted child is equipped to do something special in the world, given a chance to grow and show themselves. That some are more equipped than others, does not alter the fact that all gifted children are more equipped than is usual.

We are not connected to a gifted community here, in Singapore - but we are quite happy in our isolation. We have each other and we have an understanding of our children in relation to the wider world. Our children are accepted by the non-gifted community and we have not had hostility on the personal level. On the whole, that is a lot better than what we encountered on that "gifted community support group". I would say, therefore, in conclusion that gifted isolation can actually be superior to gifted community - it really depends on which community you encounter and what you need from them. We enjoy our quiet lives, here, with no actual direct contact with a gifted community: you can too.

(If you would like to read of my scientific child prodigy son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and one month, and his gifted brothers, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

Creative genius and social isolation

The creative genius is often portrayed as a solitary figure. Why is this so?

Firstly, because it is generally true. To be a genius is to possess certain characteristics which are not conducive to wide acceptance by others. One of these characteristics is that one's thinking may simply be too different from others to be readily grasped. In general, people will not marvel at new thoughts: they will look askance at them, and their bearer. In many societies and many times, the thinker of new thoughts is not praised, but attacked; is not courted, but shunned; is not accepted, but opposed. Ill-treatment is often the fate of genius. It is only after many years, sometimes decades, sometimes, sadly after the genius has died, and their ideas prove themselves to be true, that they are finally - and reluctantly accepted. The world is often unkind to geniuses, in person, and only kind to their memories long after they have passed away.

There is another major reason why genius is often solitary: necessity. A genius cannot create while surrounded by social distractions. A genius must be alone to create, in whatever field they do create. Their thoughts must be uninterrupted, unbothered by others. Most people of genius do not mind solitude - indeed many like it - for it is when alone that they may be themselves unencumbered by social conformity. It is when alone that they may think their thoughts without fear of ridicule. It is when alone that the genius can focus, to the exclusion of all else, on that which really matters: their creative work. The creative genius is the rarest of humans for many reasons, but one of them is that a genius must have the strength to stand alone, the strength to bear solitude sometimes for many years, on a single project, if their genius is ever to create anything. A genius must therefore not only be capable in mind, but strong in heart: they must be independent in thought and in social need. Not many manage to possess both characteristics in ample quantity - and so not many turn out to be geniuses.

I can give one personal example of the necessity of solitude to create anything of value. I have written two books - almost three - but it is the writing of one to which I wish to draw your attention.

When I was twenty-five, I began writing a book, a long book, a deep book, a book that soon took over my life. To write this book, I sequestered myself alone, at night, in an office about fifteen minutes walk from my house. Each night that I wrote, (I didn't write all nights), I would walk down to this office, through dark unlit roads, savouring the encroaching solitude, for in the darkness and quietness, would I be able to focus on my work. I would walk across a golf course, at night, down some darkened steps, across a railway track and into a second floor office, in the converted attic of a building.

It was the quiet that I liked. There was only myself, the hum of a computer (which I didn't then have of my own), and my thoughts. It was in that solitude that I wrote, nightly, until the brightening of the dawn, never interrupted by a phonecall, never taken away from my work by the call of a voice. It was a kind of peace that I have not found since.

I wrote in that way for five and a half years, until the work was complete. It is 750,000 words long - that is three-quarters of a million words. It, to me, is a thing of beauty. I have not yet published it, but I intend to do so in the coming year or two. Whether it will be acclaimed a work of genius or not, I do not know - but one thing I do know is that any genius who wishes to create must find their own solitude in which to do so. Genius never created in a social tumult.

So, genius is solitary - but not in a sad way. A genius is alone, but not lonely. A genius enjoys solitude, not fears it - for in solitude the genius is alone with their thoughts - and that is not being alone at all. A genius uses the focus and peace of solitude to create. So, if you have a child who likes solitude, who works on things alone, let them be: they may be a genius in the making, a person who will use periods of solitude in their life to create their greatest works.

(If you would like to read about my scientific child prodigy son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and one week old, then please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I write also of child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general.)