The price of parental strictness.

Chinese parents are traditionally known for what would be regarded as “strict parenting”, in Western eyes. Indeed, some parents of Chinese origin have become famed for their regimented style of child rearing. Yet, there is a price to pay for strictness, a profound psychological price to pay.

Recently, two twelve year old Chinese girls, from Zhangzhou, in mainland China, Xiao Mei and Xiao Hua committed suicide in a bizarre pact. The girls left suicide notes in a cupboard which spoke of a desire to travel back in time to the Qing Dynasty (from 1644 to 1911) and seemed to indicate that they thought that death would achieve this, for them. The suicide pact came into being when one of the girls lost the key to her house and was afraid of being punished by her parents, for doing so. She decided to commit suicide, rather than face punishment. Her best friend heard about this, and couldn’t bear the thought of living on without her friend – so they both decided to kill themselves at the same time. They elected to do this, by jumping into a pond.

Now, what struck me about this tragedy was the reaction amongst the Chinese people. There has been an uproar blaming time travel TV shows for the suicides. They seem to believe that the children were somehow acting out, in imitation of such shows, in which people are propelled back into the past, when struck by lightning, or have a car crash. My personal thought on this is that the critics of the TV shows are seriously missing the point. These two girls did not die because they were imitating TV shows. They died, because they were TOO SCARED OF THEIR PARENTS. These girls were killed by strict Chinese style parenting. One of the girls was so frightened of her parents’ reaction to losing her house key, that she decided it would be better to die, than to face up to her parents. So, this tragedy is much darker than it appears. It is not about the delusions of two young girls, unable to distinguish reality from TV fictions...but it is about the psychological stresses they had been placed under by strict parents. Had their parents been more loving, more kind, more warm, more forgiving, more welcoming, I am certain that both these girls would still be alive today.

China should be re-examining the way it raises its children, in the light of this tragedy – not the nature of its TV shows. Children who felt loved and secure, with their parents, would not be so scared of them that they would prefer to die, than to face up to them, when something unfortunate had happened. These two girls were, basically, killed by their parents. Had their parents been less strict, they would be alive, today. It is that simple.

What makes this all the more tragic and puzzling is that China has a one child policy, so it is likely that these girls were the only children of their parents. If so, it seems even more tragic to me, that they should have been parented in such a strict manner, that they would rather die than face their parents’ wrath. Why did their parents need to be so strict, when they had but one lonely child to look after and raise? What would have been wrong with being warm, supportive, loving and flexible instead?

If a child fears their parents, then something is seriously wrong with the way those parents are raising the child. These children were in fear – and that fear led to their deaths.

From the reaction of the Chinese people and their misattribution of the problem to TV, I very much doubt whether the Chinese people will learn anything from this. However, there is a lesson here, for anyone who reads my blog: raise a child with love, not fear, for in love, they grow; in fear, they die, slowly, or quickly, but surely.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

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Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

A cat called Cow.

Until sometime last night, we had a cat called Cow. It was a black and white cat, with patches of each colour, like a cow. Hence, my kids chose that name for it. It was a young cat, perhaps 9 months old. She had an adorably sweet personality and was very warm and seemingly loving, nudging adults and children alike, as it to say hello. Of all her mother’s kittens, she was the one who liked to stay closest to her mother. This morning, my son, Fintan, 8, found her dead.

It was a bit of a shock to be told this news. You see, we have four young cats, who were dumped on our doorstep by their mother. Of all the four, Cow was by far the most charming. In fact, she was the only one that seemed to have its own true personality. The others were mainly just hungry and out for food the whole time. We had planned to give the other three away, and keep Cow. So it was unwelcome news to see Cow stretched out stiffly on the ground, upside down, with her chest exposed, as if arching in pain, her mouth open in a grimace of surprised agony.

Upon her chest, there was an oval wound, about an inch across. Something had put a hole in her chest, on the underside. Had she been bitten by an animal? Had she fallen on something sharp? It was all the more surprising to see her dead like this, since we had seen her alive only hours before.

The children stared at her unmoving body in silence, as we prepared to bury her. My wife’s father was here. He had dug a rectangular hole in the garden for Cow – a little grave. All the children stood around eyes fixed on Cow. They were unusually quiet. Cow didn’t look quite real anymore. She was completely stiff and looked like a stuffed toy – not an ex-cat, at all. The absence of life, made her look as if she had never been animate. She simply looked like an artist’s impression of a cat – and not a very convincing one at that. It is funny what death can do. It makes even the most living animal, look rather unreal. I was struck, then, by what had made Cow such an interesting cat. It was her personality – the way she moved, what she did, her seeming intentions and the general impression of warmth in her actions. All that was gone. Without her animating personality, Cow did not even look like Cow anymore. She looked like a cat shaped black and white object, with a pink hole in her chest.

We buried Cow, in silence and replaced the turf on top of her. The boys didn’t say anything. I don’t think they knew what to make of it all. This was their first direct acquaintance with death. I don’t think they have ever seen a dead mammal, or human, before. Cow had been their favourite cat. In all, I think they took it very well, though I could tell they were a bit shocked, since there had been no forewarning.

Last night, I had heard dogs barking, rather aggressively at about 3 am. Perhaps that was when Cow was attacked and died. Had the dogs come onto our property or had Cow wandered onto theirs? We shall never know. It was clear though that she had dragged herself back to her favourite spot in the garden and died near where we used to feed her. She had come home, for her final moments.

I was going to write about Cow a long time ago, because I thought her funny and endearing. I never expected the first time to write of her, would be of her early death. Reflecting on why she died, rather than any of her siblings, I think it may very well have been her colouration. The others were shades of brown and would be difficult to see at night. She was black and white and would have been easy to spot, at night. I think that which made her beautiful to look at, may also have cost her, her life.

My wife Syahidah reassured Fintan. “Cow has gone to Cow heaven to meet all the other “cows”.”

He smiled at that, finding it either a comforting or a funny thought. It wasn’t clear which.

Thank you, Cow, for being so sweet and making us all smile, at your warmth. My sons, in particular, will miss her, though my wife and I will too.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

On the dumbness of "intelligence".

CIA stands for the Central Intelligence Agency. I understand that, by “intelligence” they are referring to information, rather than skill in its use – but, nevertheless, one does expect intelligent behaviour from an agency bearing that name and having that role. Recent events, however, suggest that, perhaps, the CIA should look at the quality of either its intake or its training.

Hezbollah has discovered more than a dozen CIA spies in Lebanon. It is feared that they are likely to be executed, if they have not already been. So, too, CIA spies in Iran have been uncovered and apprehended, in a double blow for the iconic agency.

I was struck by reports that the CIA spies in Lebanon were meeting, in a large group, at a Pizza hut. Apparently, the code word for the venue, in their “secret” conversations, was “pizza”. Hmm. I wonder if anyone could guess what that meant? Former officials were the source of the code word. Present officials deny the code word “pizza” was used. My take on that is to ask: who has “face” to lose? Those who no longer work in the US government – or those who do?

Regardless of whether or not that particular code word was used or not – which, if it was, is a spectacular instance of catastrophic dumbness – the other aspect of the situation is equally troubling. Is it not conspicuous for a large number of agents and their contacts to be meeting in a public restaurant all at the same time? Is this not likely to attract attention? Indeed, it did...with the result that the spy network was apprehended and rolled up.

If these reports are true – of a ludicrous code word and attention grabbing meetings – then I have to wonder at how such things can be. It would seem that the CIA’s agents in the Middle East, have been living life without a full appreciation of the risks of their role. They have lived as if in a TV show – where the good guys are never caught and nothing ill ever happens to them. No-one who truly understood, deep down, the risks of the job, would choose to meet, in a large group, in a public place...it is just too likely to be noticed. A little thought, without any special training at all, would suggest many different ways to organize meetings, that are much safer, and less likely to be noticed. However, this was not done, it seems: foolish risks were taken, instead, as if, in fact, there were no risks at all.

I am left to wonder at the age of the agents in question. Were they young and inexperienced...and, perhaps, a little unprepared for their roles? Did they see it as a game, and not as a very perilous life, indeed? No-one of any maturity, with any perspective on the consequences of being revealed, in such a role, could have behaved, as these “spies” are said to have done.

If it transpires that these operatives were, in fact, very young, it would be wiser, in future, to use older, more experienced field operatives, with a better appreciation of the fragility of life, and the precariousness of their position, as foreign agents, in the midst of hostile territory.

That being said, I hope the operatives, young or not, return home safely to their families, intact and untortured – though I rather feel that is as much a vain hope, as their actions were foolish, in meeting in Pizza Hut, in the first place.

That pizza better have been worth it.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

On falling ill in a taxi.

It is time for a common policy of taxi driver response to a passenger falling ill, in the cab. I say this because of something which happened in Singapore, recently.

Some weeks ago, a man travelling in a cab, in Singapore, became ill - and fell unconscious in the cab. The driver took him to the nearest Polyclinic. There he had to wait to be seen, as is usual in Polyclinics. The real problem with this scenario is that he had had a heart attack. He died.

Now, this story might have had a different ending if the taxi driver's standard response, according to his company policy, had been to drive him straight to the nearest hospital. There he would have received emergency treatment for his heart attack. It might have been possible to save his life. Sadly, he was instead taken to somewhere that had two failings: plenty of people waiting to be seen, who might not be keen to give him priority - and the likelihood that the Polyclinic would lack the relevant equipment to deal with the situation.

No-one who falls acutely ill in a cab should be condemned to death by a taxi driver who, perhaps being a little too lazy, takes them to the nearest everyday clinic. In such situations, a hospital should be the automatic answer.

I rather hope that someone in a position to change policy reads this and responds sensibly and proactively to prevent other unnecessary deaths in future.

My condolences to the family of the man in question.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.)

Free healthcare for all: a basic human right.

I believe that free healthcare for all, should be a basic human right. It isn't. In many countries of the world, only those who can pay for healthcare, have access to it - and that just isn't right. Healthcare should be free for all who need it, the actual cost of supporting it distributed amongst all members of society, who are working, through taxation. This is the only way to prevent injustices such as the one I am about to address.

Kiron: does that name seem familiar? For some it will be a brand of lens, but for others it will mean something else entirely - it will mean a tragedy.

Let me explain. Kiron is the name of a very special child born recently in Bangladesh. This child was a hearty 5.5 kg at birth. Part of that seemingly healthy weight came in an unusual form: an extra head. Yes, that is right, Kiron was born with two fully normal heads on one otherwise normal body.

Now, even in the most developed society, a baby like Kiron - a baby whose body seems to be from an ancient legend, another time of mythic beings - would attract great attention. So it was in Bangladesh. A crowd of 150,000 people gathered around the clinic that had tended to Kiron. Though just newly born, Kiron was an instant celebrity in his native country.

Yet, that celebrity was not of much use to him. Though 150,000 people had gathered, in a kind of pilgrimage, to his clinic, not one of them reached out to help Kiron. You see, Kiron's parents were very poor. Their doctor advised that Kiron be sent for care to a hospital in Dhaka, but his parents could not afford a hospital bill. So, this marvellous child, with two functional heads, was taken home. There, he caught a fever - and this is the part that stings - DIED. Not one of those 150,000 worshippers had actually translated their worship into active assistance for the family. This most unusual of all children was allowed to die for want of the money for a hospital bill. Surely, a crowd of so many people, in a nation captivated by this child, could have helped the family at this time? Had they each donated 10 cents that would have been 15,000 dollars worth of hospital bill - surely enough in such a poor country. Yet, their interest did not extend past morbid curiosity, it seems. The child was allowed to die for no other reason than the parents couldn't afford the medical care to keep him alive.

Now, I object strongly to this scenario. Kiron should not have been allowed to die, for want of money. Kiron's nation should have provided healthcare, not only in this special case of this special child - but in all cases of all children and, indeed, adults, in need of medical care. Healthcare should be a right as ubiquitous as the air we breathe. No-one should lack it for want of money - for money shouldn't even be part of the equation - it just isn't right that it should be so.

No doubt many thousands of children - probably millions - die each year because of their parents' poverty. Not one of them should. Fewer of them would if every society made the effort to make healthcare free for all - or, at the very least, free for the most vulnerable ones of all: newborn children who have yet to mount an effective immune defense of their own, against the world.

Should there ever be another child like Kiron, I hope that the astounding birth leads to a more effective reaction than 150,000 gawpers who did nothing to save him. They should be ashamed, really.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.)