Empathy in young children

About two weeks ago, Tiarnan, six, was out shopping with his mother, Syahidah, in Kuala Lumpur. Suddenly, he tugged at his mother’s arm.

“Mummy,” he began, with concern in his voice, “It is so sad!” He pointed at a young boy walking down the road, unaccompanied. “Some children don’t have parents!”

Syahidah looked at the little boy on his own. He was about seven years old, perhaps, maybe eight. He was walking down the main shopping High Street, without an adult in sight.

“No, Tiarnan.”, she reassured, kneeling down to him, “I am sure he has parents. Maybe he is going to see them now, in one of the shops.”

Tiarnan looked long at the little boy walking off on his own and wasn’t so sure. He seemed a little heartened, though, to feel that, perhaps, his mummy was right.

Both my wife and I thought this a very sweet indicator of the kinds of thoughts and feelings Tiarnan has. He was actually sad, for a strange boy, he had never met, because he understood him to lack parents. He felt for another, in this world. That is sweet, in itself. Yet, we are well aware of how this perspective has come about. You see, Tiarnan in all his six years, has never been left alone in public, without one or both of his parents being present. So, his remark is a consequence of how we have raised him. We have never exposed him to any risk in public. In a way he had a point: where were the parents of that boy? He really shouldn’t have been left alone. We wouldn’t leave any of our own children alone...so why had his parents?

Perhaps Tiarnan was not so wrong in his perceptions, since that boy’s parents, if not non-existent, were certainly less present than his own parents are, always. We wouldn’t take such risks with our kids, ourselves.

Anyway, it was sweet to hear Tiarnan care so much for another child. It is a sign that he, himself, is likely to grow up into a warm and caring individual...and that is certainly a good outcome, for any wise parent.

Thank you Tiarnan, for your empathetic feeling.

A cultural note: there is quite a lot of crime in KL. There was a recent high profile case of the kidnapping of a 12 year old expat boy, in a wealthy area of KL. I would have expected, therefore, that parents would exercise more caution with the safety of their children, in public, than the parents of the boy Tiarnan saw, were doing. 

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

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If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

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Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

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Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.) 

A perspective on old age.

It is a privilege to get old - because so many never get the chance.

So, if you are old, and feeling a little less well than you used to - consider the alternative: dying young. Is that really better?

I am middle aged. I have no idea whether I will ever be old one day - but I say from this vantage, I expect to be grateful to have gotten there, if I am so lucky to live so long. I think everyone should because we all, along the way, live to see others die much younger than ourselves having lived lives tantalisingly incomplete and unfulfilled. If a person lives so long that they have fulfilled even one of their dreams and been happy enough along the way, then that is something to be satisfied in. So many have so much less, in life.

Recent events have prompted me to reflect on life and death a bit...hence the motivation for this post. I might write more in another post.

Keep on living!

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

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If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.) 

Optimism vs. pessimism

A few days ago, Ainan observed:

“Negative thinking: you are never disappointed.”

His remark came in the midst of a conversation about attitudes on life.

He seemed to be endorsing negative thinking as the way to go. For him, it seemed self-evident that one who thinks negatively, is going to have less of a problem in life than one who thinks positively. Personally, I disagree. You see, in my household, I am the optimist, and my wife is somewhat of a pessimist. It seems, however, that Ainan has inherited more of my wife’s disposition, on the matter, if he spoke autobiographically. I think this is a bit of a pity since there is something about optimism or positive thinking that my son has overlooked: an optimist will always give something a try because he or she believes there is a good chance of success, if one does so. The pessimist, on the other hand, may not try some particular endeavour having convinced themselves that they will not succeed, so why bother?

Luckily, Ainan’s devotion to “negative thinking” does not appear to be strong. In fact, I wonder if he was endorsing it in a tongue-in-cheek fashion. You see, Ainan is always trying new things and creating new things. So, he is certainly not held back by the typical pessimist’s attitude to such efforts. I think, therefore, Ainan was just observing that if you think negatively then you avoid one potential consequence, each and every time: disappointment. I don’t think, given the way he actually behaves, that he was relating how he actually thought.

With Ainan, now, there is a tendency to coin punchy phrases and one liners. Yet, these may not actually describe his personal view on the world, but more of his perception of certain understandings that appeal to him, in an aesthetic way. By this I mean that he likes the sound of the thought he has expressed, but doesn’t necessarily hold it for himself. He is playing with thoughts and ideas and seeing which appeal to the mind.

I shall enquire more as to this attitude to negative thinking, in time. For now, I will say only this: if he holds some degree of negativity, it could be allied to his tendency to be self-deprecating. It is another part of his tendency to downplay things. In this case, downplaying the possibility of a positive outcome.  In all, it adds up to a more sober less exuberant view of the future and the world. Perhaps, actually, this leads to a certain “level-headedness”, in that he won’t get carried away with possibilities, but will seek to estimate actualities instead...or perhaps even underestimate them. It remains to be seen what effect this will have on his choices in life. At this time, it does not seem to hamper him from experimentation and growth in any way. I remain watchful.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.) 

The relativity of ability.

As long term readers will know, Ainan has an unusual perspective on himself, one that, perhaps, others would not agree with.

A week or two ago, I remarked to Ainan:

“Your ability has been growing in recent months...” I spoke softly and without any undue emphasis.

“No it hasn’t!”, he said most firmly. “I am not getting any better, it is just that the tasks are getting easier.”

I didn’t wish to argue with him, so I maintained my silence. I had seen versions of this attitude and belief before in Ainan. He refuses to believe that his intellect is growing. He sees himself as ever the same. If he gets better at a variety of task, he blames the task for somehow getting easier, rather than acknowledge that he is getting better, or growing in any way.

I know why Ainan believes this. It is a defence in him, against the notion that he is in any way unusual. Ainan wishes to preserve the belief – which he holds – that his way of being is the norm – anything that deviates from him, is not. For Ainan, the intellectual standard, for “ordinary”, for a 12 year old, is his own level. That is how he wishes to see the world and his place in it. Thus, the idea that he might be growing or developing noticeably, threatens that stable world view – so he rejects it. For him, it is the tasks which change, not him.

This puts me in a dilemma. Should I try to get him to see his true place in the world, in relation to others – or should I leave him be, to preserve his illusion of “everdayness”, which he so wants to preserve? For now, I have left him with his view that it is the world that is getting easier to deal with, than that, he is growing more capable in doing so. I will have to deliberate though, in future, whether this is the right thing to do, in the long term.

This year I have seen an efflorescence of Ainan’s mind. He has taken to music, taught himself the piano, overnight, it seemed, and is now composing music. He plays it most days, quite beautifully. He is also growing as a writer and a mathematician. His mind seems to be expanding again, with a marked velocity. Yet, Ainan does not wish to see it. For him, all is static within – it is the world which changes without.

I have left him to his worldview and did not stress him by taking an opposite stance. I will just have to enjoy his mental renaissance, in silence, savouring it for myself without any overt remarks to draw attention to it. 

Whether Ainan likes it or not, he is growing – and it is enough for me to observe this. I don’t need to convince Ainan of it.

Grow on, Ainan! Or should I say: shrink world!

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page. 

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.) 

The cycle of life and death.

A few days ago, I told my two youngest sons about the cycle of life and death. Fintan, 8, listened intently, but didn’t really comment. Tiarnan, 6, however was most responsive.

“Everybody dies, someday...”, I began, looking at Tiarnan. He had made a remark, which I cannot now recall, which prompted me to introduce this subject.

His eyes fixed on me, somewhat intently.

“But, if you have children, Tiarnan, something of you will live on in them. Just like I will live on in you.”

That thought seemed a nice one, to him. He looked to his brother, for confirmation that he, too, thought well of it.

“You, Tiarnan, and you Fintan, are half Mummy and half Daddy...”

They both smiled at this thought.

“You have different halves of Mummy and Daddy, but you both have half of each of us. There are genes in every cell, that tell how to make you – they are like a recipe for making you. You have half of Mummy’s recipe and half of Daddy’s recipe. So, half of us lives on in each of you.”

They were a little awonder at this and shared that wonder with a glance to each other.

“When you grow up, you will have children too,” I said, my gaze encompassing both Tiarnan and Fintan. “And those children will have children too, when they grow up.”

Tiarnan then interrupted my explanation.

“Then they will die, but their children will live on and have children. Then they will die and their children will live on, and have children...and then...they will die and their children will live on and have children...and...”

Then he laughed, unexpectedly. It was a full laugh, a laugh that seemed to express an absurdity he sensed at the core of life. The whole cycle of life and death seemed ridiculous to my six year old son.

Suddenly he stopped.

“I am not going to get married.”, he said, determinedly.

“You will when you grow up.”

“No! I am not going to get married.”, he said more forcefully.

“Why not?”, I said, curious about my little son’s perspective on life.

“I am too shy.”, he confessed, softening.

“You will get less shy as you get older. I was shy as a young boy...but as I grew up, I became less shy, until I wasn’t shy anymore.”

He didn’t seem convinced. He even seemed to shrink in shyness at the thought of his own shyness.

“No. I won’t.”

“Yes, you will. Goodnight.”

I put them to bed and waited until they had fallen to sleep.

As I write of my son’s responses, I wonder, now, at why he said he wouldn’t get married...was it truly the shyness that would, he thought, block that...or was it a sense of the pointlessness of the cycle of life and death: did he think it too absurd to participate in? I wonder, because he seemed to be considering that absurdity when he suddenly stopped and said he wasn’t going to get married. Or perhaps, he had realized that if he didn’t get married, he wouldn’t be participating in that cycle of life and death in the fullest way. In either case, it was an interesting thought.

It is true though. Tiarnan is shy. However, he has many attributes which do best in someone who is not shy. So, he is full of contradictions – with a co-existence of positive attributes that require the absence of shyness, which is present, for full expression. I shall, of course, work on him overcoming his shyness. I shall write of one such attempt soon.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Staff Sergeant Robert Bales and the price of life.

In America, money buys everything – even forgiveness, it seems. At least, that is the implicit view of the American armed forces.

Staff Sergeant Robert Bales is being charged with the murders of 17 Afghan civilians, he shot to death in their homes, at night. There were four men, four women and nine children in the tally. He also attempted to kill six others. He faces a potential death sentence and a minimum life sentence with the possibility of parole, under military law. These facts are well known. What struck me as somewhat bizarre was what America has done in response to these killings. It has attempted to bribe the affections of the deceased’s families. The US has paid 50,000 USD to the families of those killed, per victim and 11,000 USD to the families of those wounded, per victim. Think about that for a moment. America imagines that it can buy the goodwill of the families of those it has murdered. In doing so, it is implicitly stating that it believes there is some exchangeable equivalence between money and life. There is no such equivalence, in their hearts. It is certain that not a one of the survivors would rather have the money than their loved ones back, alive, with them.

Then there is another curious fact about this. The international mass media are expressing amazement at the size of the sums the Americans have offered in compensation. They seem to be saying that these are large sums of money. Now, by comparison to past payments to those killed or injured by Americans in Afghanistan, they are. Typical prior payments have been 2,000 USD for a death; 400 USD for a serious injury and 200 USD for a non-serious injury. So, by that scale these are significant payments. Yet, there is another comparison to be made. America has placed a value on human life, called the “statistical value of human life”. Different agencies place different values on life. The Environmental Protection Agency values a life at 6.9 million USD. The Food and Drug Administration values life at 7.9 million USD. This leads to a sobering conclusion: an Afghan life is worth up to 158 times less than an American life, according to the actions of the American government, in compensating the Afghan families, whose members were murdered by Staff Sergeant Robert Bales.

Should the Afghan people ever come to understand this discrepancy between the value of an American life and the value of Afghan life, they might be mightily insulted at the compensation offered. It should be noted that the Afghans have a blood money culture in which compensation for the loss of life is expected – yet, Afghan commentators have remarked, in tune with my words, that no compensation is enough to make amends for these crimes – for it won’t bring back their loved ones.

If America really wants to play this game, of buying off the hatred of the people who have every reason to hate them, then really they should pay the same value for an Afghan life that they notionally ascribe to an American life. Each Afghan victim should have been compensated to the tune of 7.9 million USD. This would have another effect. It might make the Americans more cautious about whom they kill in Afghanistan. It could soon become very expensive to send young, anger prone, gun happy, American soldiers into a combat environment – for reasons altogether unrelated to their pay and support. Were every civilian death to require almost 8 million USD in compensation, there would, I am sure, be suddenly a whole lot fewer of them – and this could only be described as a good thing.

I shall patiently wait for the American government to pay out the balance of the 7.9 million USD payments for each victim. Until then, the US government hasn’t shown that it values Afghan life as much as it values American life – and that is a very grave insult, to this long suffering people. A life is a life – and it should be valued as much from a distant land, as from our own. That is a lesson the Americans have yet to imbibe.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Will Smith on true friends.

I came across a great quote from Will Smith, the Hollywood actor/film star today. It went:

“If you were absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.”

Brilliant.

If this is a real quote from Will Smith and not just a misattribution, my estimation of him has been increased by this pithy and oh-so-true remark. Everyone who has ever sought to achieve anything of real creative worth, must note this phenomenon, at some time or other. Especially when they actually create something worthy. All those people who were invisible, when you needed them, suddenly pop out, when you don’t. It is quite perturbing. There is a whole sub-species of Humanity who think that their fellow Man are so stupid, that they can be scarce, when their compatriots are struggling towards success, but suddenly be ever present when success comes at last. It is a particularly ugly behaviour.

Even a casual glance at the early lives of many geniuses, before they reached renown, reveals much private struggle, in which they strove to create their works, not infrequently against the indifference or unhelpfulness of those around them. I wonder at how those who stood by and did nothing to help, responded when the genius finally succeeded? Did they expect to be able to “cash in”, on the situation?

Will Smith’s wise words are worth bearing in mind, for anyone who is working towards a personal success of any significance. Observe the people around you. Note who is helpful and who is not. Note who is there for you, and who is never so. Never forget those who help you along the way – nor those who hinder you. When, finally, your success is yours. Note the responses of the very same people, good and bad: do they suddenly change? Do the once unhelpful or hindering types suddenly become profusely interested in you? If so, simply exercise your memory, and see them as they truly are.

Indeed, this is a particularly important matter for anyone who becomes rich, famous or both to bear in mind. Only those people who were supportive in your darker times, are worth your consideration when you begin to flourish. Those who were more noted by their absence, than their presence, should never be trusted, or given a moment’s attention – after all, they didn’t do so for you when you actually needed their help.

Fame and wealth make this situation particularly acute for their bearer. Many people are attracted to the famous or the wealthy, seeking favours of some kind from them, or even just the reflected glory of close association. Those people are easily sorted by the Will Smith Rule – above. The ones who were there, when you were “no-one”, are worth your attention, when you become “someone”. The converse is true for the others. When people you haven’t seen for twenty years suddenly start treating you as their best friend, it is time to start closing doors in faces...preferably ON faces.

From Will Smith’s remark, I read that he most likely experienced this too. It seems, however, that he saw through the sudden hangers-on. Good for him.

I would be interested in any anecdotes, from people’s lives, on any similar experience. Did personal success bring you a sudden avalanche of friends you never knew you had, sourced from among those who had become very practised at ignoring you, during your time of struggle? Stories below, please.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Girls Talk

No conversations are more amusing, or perhaps, more informative about the nature of Man, than the wisdom of young children. They are accustomed to see more truly, and speak more openly, for they have not yet learnt reasons to hide their thoughts, nor soften their observations.

Yesterday, Tiarnan, who has just turned six, complained to his mother:

“Fintan likes girls singing!” He seemed somewhat appalled at the idea.

“So?”, countered his mother, “They sound nice.”

He wasn’t convinced.

“I don’t like girls talking.”, he said, unwilling to give up his viewpoint.

“I am a girl.”, said his mother, reasonably, “I talk.”

“I like you talking, Mummy.”, he confessed. “I don’t like girls talking.”

At that moment, Fintan, eight, leaned forward intently and spoke pointedly.

“Tiarnan, in this world, 90% of all talking is by girls.”

Tiarnan considered that figure and couldn’t quite muster anything to counter it. Anyway, he would have been distracted by the laughter of his mother.

I found this exchange hilarious when Syahidah later reported it to me. Fintan’s comment might not be politically correct, but even though he is only eight years old, he has observed enough about people to have noticed that many a girl is more verbal than boys usually are. So, there is an element of truth in his view, even if “90%” might be an exaggeration.

I find this kind of conversation very appealing, for it reveals to me evidence of my children’s world models, that they have formed in their minds. I see, through their words, the world that they see, with its categorizations, understandings, purposes and values. It is most enlightening. What is most amazing is how quickly young children seem to form models of the world. Even very young children have interesting views about how the world works and what it all means. You just have to pause to listen to them to peer into another world, one both alike and unlike our own – but informed, nevertheless, by a surprising degree of logic and observation.

I wonder whether Fintan will still think, in ten years time, when he will be eighteen, that girls are responsible for 90% of the world’s speech. I shall remember his words of yesterday and remind him of them, when that time comes. It will be interesting to see how he responds. I expect that he will laugh at his boyhood remark. We shall see.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)