Self-deprecating humour of a child prodigy.

Some able people praise themselves, a few others do what Ainan does: be self-deprecating.

About a month ago, Ainan remarked: “If people learn from their mistakes, I must be the most knowledgeable person in the world.”

He smiled at the end, and snorted a little laugh. His eyes twinkled at me.

I laughed with him.

Now, it must be said that this is Ainan’s style – to underplay or downplay himself. It must also be said that his remark is not true – for he does not make an unusual number of mistakes, in fact, he seems to make many fewer than most. Yet, this remark of his, is certainly typical of the way he refers to himself. He is even able to bring humour into how he describes himself.

I suppose that this self-deprecating humour of his may actually endear him to people. There is nothing more irritating than someone who spends their days boasting about themselves. By the same measure, there is something disarming about someone who downplays their many achievements and abilities and even speaks of them in a humorous way.

I do worry sometimes, though, that Ainan is a little too self-deprecating, on occasion. It makes me wonder whether he is actually being humorous – or, in fact, cannot see himself as he is, in relation to others. I think a clear vision of one’s place in the world and relation to others, is most helpful in guiding one’s choices in life. I do hope that Ainan’s tendency to self-deprecate won’t get in the way of that.

Having said that, Ainan’s approach will probably win him more friends than the opposite tack would garner. He is not one to push people away with a massive ego...he simply doesn’t have one. If anything he has the opposite of an ego. He is a quiet boy, who does not impose a self-image on the world, but holds it in reserve. When he speaks of himself, it is occasionally to disarm what others might think of him. He also manages to do it with humour. Indeed, humour is one of his more notable characteristics and it leaks into most areas of his life. He even began to make scientific jokes as early as six years old – but that is another tale.

I like this new wittiness that I see growing in Ainan. He has become a fashioner of one-liners. Most of them are not self-deprecating however, and are neutral in content. I shall keep an eye on the self-deprecating side of him, though, because I would not like to see that become too dominant. It is dangerous to do that too much – for one day the person uttering such lines, might come to believe in them – and that wouldn’t be healthy.

In the meantime, I shall enjoy Ainan’s spontaneous humour and learn from the glimpses it reveals, of how he thinks about himself, and the world.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.) 

Being ordinary or extraordinary.

What is the difference between being ordinary or being extraordinary? Sometimes they are one and the same.

I once wrote about the gifted child’s viewpoint of others, in a post, “Gifted or Impaired?”. My basic contention in that post was that a gifted child may not conceive of themselves as gifted, but of everyone else as “impaired”. I had an interesting conversation with Ainan a couple of days ago, which called to mind that post.

I had come to understand that Ainan had a strange view of his gifts. So, I tried to make him see that what he could do was extraordinary.

“It is all ordinary.”, he retorted. “Everything is ordinary.”

There was an expansiveness in his “everything” that led me to understand something. For Ainan, there are NO extraordinary achievements, in this world – everything is lumped under the “ordinary” title he was bestowing on it.

I tried to counter him, but it was no use. He left the conversation with the same view he had held at the beginning: that everything he had been able to do in his life was “ordinary” – and that, perhaps, everything everyone else had proven able to do was “ordinary” too. Ainan’s inner standard for what would amount to “extraordinary” was so high that nothing and no-one – except perhaps comic book fictional superheroes – could possibly qualify as “extraordinary”.

In a way, I see Ainan’s viewpoint on the matter of what constitutes a special gift, as a defence mechanism. By conceiving all that he has done and can do as “ordinary”, he does not separate himself from others – he can be one among all. I suppose that there is some psychological security in that. He can feel that he belongs, in a way that, perhaps, to an objective outsider, he might not seem to belong at all.

I didn’t press the point. I am comfortable with Ainan’s conception of himself, if it makes him feel more comfortable being who he is, as it seems to. Indeed, his view of himself does rather agree with my understanding that gifted children might not necessarily be able to see their own gifts. Should they try to understand them, they might, instead, come to view others as “less than ordinary” or “impaired”. Ainan has, indeed, come to a version of this understanding. Ainan has come to the view that there is no such thing as extraordinary accomplishment – because he is, of course, benchmarking all such accomplishments against what he can do himself. Given the level of what he can do and does quite casually, nothing, by comparison, seems extraordinary anymore. Hence, he conceives of a very ordinary world, in which there is nothing special in a child being the youngest in the world to have passed O level, or being in College – as he was – at 8 years old. To Ainan, that is all very ordinary.

At this time, therefore, I have a truer understanding of Ainan than he does himself. He does not see the wider world just yet. He has seen only a small sliver of that world – a small, very academic sliver. So, he cannot yet see his place in the fullness of the world. I wonder, now, how he will feel when he comes to the realization  - which is pretty certain to come, one day – that he is very far from ordinary. Will he be able to adjust to such an understanding? Will he live in denial and try to hold onto his view that “everything is ordinary”. We shall see. In the meantime, I won’t raise the matter, again, but will watch, instead, for signs of how his world view is developing.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.) 

On being there.

For a child, there is no greater gift than the parent simply being there.

On Saturday morning, I put aside my own commitments, to be there for my youngest son, Tiarnan, five. He had an end of year school concert, at which he would be dancing twice. Now, to be there for him, I had to ask to be relieved from an unavoidable commitment of my own. It wasn’t easy – and there were consequences – but I felt that I had no alternative. My wife, Syahidah, was otherwise committed for an event involving Ainan and Fintan – so that left only me, to attend to Tiarnan. So, I went with him, despite all the pressures to do otherwise.

Though I arrived well in time, it wasn’t in time enough. The entire auditorium was already full, leaving only a temporary chair at the back, behind every other row of seating. I sat on it and waited for it to begin.

I have written of this kind of event before. It involves young children from two to six, dressed up in fine clothes, dancing to music, as an ensemble. I have seen this before. No longer am I surprised to see little kids dressed like adults on a night out for a ballroom dance. No longer am I culture shocked at a such a strange sight – though I was the first time I saw it. This time, I noted some new things. For instance, the very young kids, of two or three, barely respond to the music at all, with only one or two attempting to “dance”. As the kids get older, they become noticeably more coordinated and able to engage with the music. At Tiarnan’s age, it was noticeable that most were not particularly good with choreography. Tiarnan stood out in this respect. When he danced, he did so with rhythm, vigour and a distinct grasp of the choreography. He was clearly the most co-ordinated on stage. I felt acutely touched as I watched him dance. He had been placed at the back of the dancers, though why this should be so, I wasn’t sure, since he was by far the best dancer, there. Perhaps that is precisely why: his teacher didn’t want him to show the others up.

I was unsure whether he saw me, at the back, but I waved nevertheless. He didn’t respond. I really hoped he would see me out here, and know I was watching.

For the second dance, at the end, he was, again, the most distinguished dancer on stage – and that included all the six year olds, who had joined them, for the grand finale. What was most pronounced is that his moves were to an inner clock – there was a rhythm and fluidity about them, moving from one movement to the next, that all the other youngsters lacked. To me, this shows that something in him, related to motor skills, is more developed than is typical of his age, or indeed, of those who are one year older than him, since he outshone them all. Given his mother’s proclivity for dance, I am not surprised by this, however. She has always been an uncanny dancer.

For me, the best moment of the whole event was at the end, when Tiarnan looked out over the audience, his head uptilted to stare at the back of the hall. Then he waved, in my direction. He had seen me. On his face, there was a contented smile. His daddy had been there for him. I waved back and he echoed my wave again.

I remember my own childhood and how important it was for me, that my parents should be there, to witness particular achievements. In a way, such times were a means to show them what I could do. They were a communication from son, to parent – a way of letting them see a bit more about me. Thus, that they should be there, could not have been more important. I learnt that from my own childhood. So, I always try to be there for my children, whenever they are doing something of note. I know that, although they might not say it, my presence is very important to them. They would be sad, if I could not make it.

Personally, I lost out by being at my son’s concert. Something which was meant for me, to do, went ahead without me, done by another, because they would not and could not wait for me to join them in the afternoon – which I did. Yet, I weigh my personal loss against my son’s gain and know that I could not have chosen otherwise. A child would not understand the parent’s need to be elsewhere to do something. My son would have felt ignored, had I not been there.

I asked Tiarnan: “Did you see me in the audience?”

He nodded, silently.

“Did you like that Daddy was there?”

He nodded, silently, again, though this time with the hint of a smile.

That was good enough for me. I made the right choice.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

The value of self-esteem.

My time as a teacher taught me much. That seems a funny thing to say, but I think that a teacher learns much about people if they are observant and reflective.

I have noticed something about Chinese mainland students. Quite a few of them don't think much of themselves. This strikes me as different to the Western students I grew up with, most of whom thought rather too much of themselves.

I once asked a class of mixed Asian students what they thought was most interesting about themselves. The answers were very revealing. A significant percentage of the Chinese PRC students said: "There is nothing interesting about me." None of the other Asians in the class (Vietnamese, Mongolian, Korean, and Uzbek) said this about themselves.

I thought it sad that they thought so little of themselves. If a Western student thought in that way, we would be concerned about their self-image and esteem issues. Yet, it seems fairly normal in the population of Chinese students I have taught.

I went further and asked them what they most liked. One of the ones who had said that he was not interesting, said that he liked Gundam Seed (a manga type cartoon). I asked him why he liked it: "No reason." He was unable to articulate what it was that he liked about it.

I put the two responses together. He seemed to have no insight into himself. He could not look at himself and see what was interesting: he lacked the ability to reflect. Thus, when asked why he liked something, he was unable to examine his reasons. To me, this indicates a paucity in the ability to think, in general. Students brought up in the Chinese tradition often seem to emphasise the recall of information learnt by rote - but when asked to engage in analytical or creative thinking, they fall silent. So lacking is this ability that they are not even able to think about themselves with any real coherence.

China is growing apace. Yet, if China is ever to fulfil its potential, I think its people need to be educated in a different way. They need to be taught not only to remember, but to think. They also need to come to value themselves as people. Perhaps the two are linked. They don't see themselves as significant individuals - therefore their thoughts have no value - and so they don't think. They just await input to be recalled later and suspend the faculty of reflection upon it: after all, they think, "I am nothing", "I am not significant...so any thought would have no value." At least, this is how quite a few of these students seem to me. There is a very real sense in which their cognitive development is incomplete: they have got to the stage of recall of knowledge, but not gone beyond it, to use of that knowledge, in new ways, or understanding of that knowledge. They are stuck, in a very real sense, halfway through what we would regard as an educative process. China has a long way to go, I think, before it can hope to challenge the developed world, at the highest intellectual levels: to do so, they have to change the very nature of the people they are producing - and that takes time, effort and resolve. That's assuming, of course, that it is possible at all, in the first place.

The first step is, I feel, that Chinese students start to believe in themselves and their value, that they start to see themselves as interesting and worthy. Only then will China truly mature, as a nation.

(Please note: the above analysis assumes that the Chinese language students I met in Singapore are typical of China as a whole - it is possible that they may not be, for various reasons.)

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.)

The Value of An Individual

I came across something rather saddening recently. It was a blogger writing of his opinion that he had nothing worthwhile to say - because others "wrote better" than he did. He listed several Chinese names - and my own name, which is why I came across his blog.

Now, the first thing that occurred to me, on reading this, is that he was unaware of his own value, as an individual. He writes about things others never could - because they have never been, and never will be, him. He may consider what others write to be more "worthy" - but that does not make what he writes worthless. None of those that he praises by picking out as being "good writers" could have written his blog posts - for his posts come from his life, his views, his understandings and his experiences.

It is easy to forget, in a competitive world, that, in one sense, none of us have any competition at all. We are all unique. There will never be another "us". We will live but once and then be no more. Nothing can be more valuable, therefore, than the individual - for each of us is irreplaceable and inexchangeable by any other, ever.

So, to all those bloggers and other creatives out there (for blogging, at its best, is a creative activity, or should be), do not ever feel diminished by the greatness of another. No other can be you. No other can write, think, feel, act as you do. Whatever you do comes from whatever you are - and there is only one like you - and that is the one you see in the mirror every morning.

Should that blogger ever read this page, I would urge him to write on - and express the unique self that he possesses. I would urge the same call to express the self, upon all others. In whatever way you can express who you are, you should do so - for no-one will ever again be as you are. Make your uniqueness count: express it.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and five months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and ten months, and Tiarnan, twenty-seven months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind)