On coping with rejection.

The biggest difference between those who succeed in life, and those who fail, is in how they cope with rejection. Some are spurred on by it – others are destroyed by it.

Today, I stumbled on an Internet reference to an Indian Singaporean boy who had shown significant precocity as a child. At the age of 12 or so, he was doing A level exams. He seemed set for a great future. Then he applied for Cambridge, with three A levels in hand...and got rejected. Now, this boy, who had been consumed every day of his young life by Maths and Physics, was totally disheartened by this. He gave up his studies of Maths and Physics. No details were given as to his mental state, but I imagine, from the way he behaved, that he was depressed. He no longer pursued his interests. They no longer seemed to interest him. His relative described him, at the age of 15, as having “lost both his interest and his ability” in both Maths and Physics. He no longer showed precocity. He had become “ordinary”.

It was saddening to read of this case, because I can only say, from my own experience of Cambridge University, that this boy’s rejection from it, may actually have been a good thing. As a young boy, in Cambridge, he would have faced a daunting level of stress and pressure. This may have been damaging and is likely to have been much more than he was prepared to cope with. Looking at his very stark reaction to a simple rejection, I cannot imagine it being even remotely possible that he could cope with life in such a pressured, demanding University. He has given up his life dream simply because one University said: “No.” That is profoundly silly, in its own way. Cambridge reject many good candidates every year...even some great ones slip through, no doubt. They do so, because they are oversubscribed – they are overflowing with good candidates to choose from. Another issue which this young boy seems to have overlooked, is his own age. I am sure that Cambridge is not keen to take on a young boy. They probably rejected him not for his grades (which admittedly were good, but not as good as most candidates), but because of his AGE. They probably didn’t want to cope with the challenges of taking on a thirteen year old, as he would probably have been by the time of admission.

This boy, of such great promise, has given up everything because he could not get into the University of his choice. In so doing, he is showing that he is unable to cope with rejection. Thus, though it is a shame that his talent may now never flower, I can’t help but feel that anybody who gives up, on one rejection, is not going to be able to cope with the difficulties of life. If it hadn’t been Cambridge rejecting him, that stopped him, it would have been something else. For all his evident intelligence and diligence, this boy lacks resilience – the ability to cope with adversity. Thus, whatever the size of his talent the likely dimensions of his success, are going to be limited by this failing. He will never be able to overcome challenges, until he learns to cope with rejection and be resilient in the face of life.

I hope he learns the skill of resilience and the toughness to cope with rejection. If he does not, there is no way this boy is going to achieve the heights his basic intellect and diligence promised. His descent into what seems like depression holds a lesson for all parents of gifted children: do not let your child be put off by a rejection – or indeed, many rejections . People are often rejected for reasons that have nothing to do with their talent. Such decisions should not be allowed to crush a child, but should just be used as a lesson in how life does not always go smoothly or according to our ideal wishes. All children need to learn to overcome such challenges. Children who don’t, are unlikely to ever succeed, no matter how intelligent they are.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Frank Anthony Wilczek: a childhood tale.

Today, I was at the Kuala Lumpur Innovation Forum 2011. There, I met an academic from the USA, who had an interesting tale to relate to me. The subject of my son, Ainan, came up in conversation and he, by association, told me the tale of another precocious boy, he knew as a teenager: Frank Anthony Wilczek.

Wilczek was in the American academic’s classroom in school. In fact, they sat next to each other, since the students were arranged in alphabetical order and my new acquaintance’s name began with W. Now, you may think this is not particularly remark worthy. Yet, it is for a couple of odd facts. Firstly, the classes in question were AP Physics (Advanced Placement) and AP Calculus. These were, by American standards, tough classes. Thus, one could expect that the students in those classes were the brightest in the school. So, my acquaintance had been quite bright as a child. Yet, Frank Anthony Wilczek stood out in these classes – for he was, according to my informant, just 12 years old at the time. Wilczek had been a child prodigy, of sorts.

Now, I was told, everyone in Wilczek’s class was awed by his intelligence. My acquaintance said that he knew, just KNEW, that no matter how many extra hours of work he put in to his Physics and Maths, that he would never be able to be as good or as bright as Wilczek – it just wasn’t about the work, Wilczek really had something the others did not. Indeed, the common view in his class, at the time, was that, one day, Wilczek would win the Nobel Prize. Rather uncannily, Wilczek did just that, for work he had done when he was a graduate student in 1973 – “the discovery of asymptotic freedom in the theory of the strong interaction”.

The tale of Wilczek’s precocious childhood and adult success, is one that struck me as worth knowing more widely. Some people believe, really believe, that child prodigies only shine in childhood. Such people dig up cases of child prodigies who went astray as adults – such as Sufiah Yusof – and use that “evidence” to bolster their case that prodigies do not become adult geniuses. Well, the truth of course, is rather more complex. Some prodigies do, in fact, become adult geniuses – like Frank Anthony Wilczek. Many prodigies become respected experts or performers in their fields – and only a minority, I would say, a very small minority, ever go astray so magnificently as Sufiah Yusof did. In fact, she is the only example I know of her kind – so she is hardly typical of the life outcome of prodigies. On the other hand, there are rather many prodigies who became very distinguished adult geniuses...others include Norbert Wiener, the father of Cybernetics, John von Neumann and even Richard Feynmann, who had aspects of the child prodigy about him, particularly in his areas of interest – Physics and Maths.

What particularly struck me about the Wilczek story was that the other kids in his class were able to see, instantly, for themselves, that Wilczek would “win a Nobel Prize one day”. That was their assessment of their classmate – and funnily enough, he went on to do just that. So, intellectual promise is evident in childhood. It is quite possible to look at a young child’s manner of thought and make fair estimates for their future. Should that future not come to be, I rather think it has nothing to do with their quality of thought or ability, but would be due to the random obstructions that are encountered in many lives. Should such a child not live up to their promise that is not because the promise was illusory – it is because life can be hard, unfair and obstructive. Quite simply, life can get in the way of the promise of any child, prodigy or not. If, however, there is enough “luck” in life, of the young prodigy, such that their obstructions are not overwhelming, then, it is clear, that such prodigies can grow to be very special adults indeed.

I wonder what Frank Anthony Wilczek, who is still alive at just 60 years old, would think if he knew what his fellow classmates thought of him all those years ago? They saw his future before he had lived it. I wonder, did he see it himself, as clearly, or was his ultimate success a pleasant surprise?

Young prodigies should be nurtured carefully, for if looked after, they, too, can become as successful as adults, as Frank Anthony Wilczek is – and many others like him.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

In search of an identity

It is interesting the ways in which a young child comes upon an identity. A few days ago, an incident opened Fintan’s eyes, to one possible identity for himself.

Fintan, 8, was watching The Pursuit of Happiness, with Will Smith, on TV.

There was a line, on screen, that caught Fintan’s sharpest attention:

“To be a good stockbroker, you have to be good with people and good with numbers.”

Fintan looked startled. “That’s me!”, he exclaimed. Then he looked across at his mother and with profound curiosity asked her: “What’s a stockbroker?” He asked it as if it could be the most important question in the world.

His mother explained to him. Fintan seemed most interested in her answer. He absorbed the understanding and was driven inward to reflect on the concept. He seemed to be weighing it, for worth.

Not for the first time, I am led to wonder if my middle son, Fintan, is going to find a career in the financial world. If so, this day may be the one that switched him onto this particular path.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Making dreams come true.

Everyone has dreams. Many of us live for them. Yet, often dreams stay just dreams and are never more than unfulfilled wishes, we take with us, beyond the ends of our lives.

Fintan, seven, however, has a solution. A few days ago, he remarked:

“If you want your dreams to come true…”, he began, portentously, “Sleep!”

There is a certain wisdom, in that – and a hint, perhaps, of an understanding that most dreams can only come true, in one way: in slumber.

Of course, knowing Fintan, he will not, personally, be satisfied with that way, alone, of achieving his dreams. There is a certain resoluteness in him, a “grit”, to use what feels like an old word. I hope he manages to make his dreams come true, for real…whatever they are or shall be.

I am not one to forget, however, that part of my role as a father, is to help him make those dreams come true – at least, whilst I am around, to be able to do so.

Happy dreaming, Fintan – both asleep and awake.

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page. To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here: http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)