Eden Wormer: when bullying should be a crime.

Eden Wormer, 14, committed suicide on Wednesday, after being relentlessly bullied for two years, at Cascade Middle School, in Vancouver, Washington.

From her photos, in the article I saw, in the Daily Mail, in the UK, Eden seems like a bright girl – at least her eyes tell such a tale. Those who knew her referred to her as “talented”. She was also evidently quite good looking. I am led to wonder if it was these attributes that led to her being bullied: the fact that she was most probably brighter than the others, and better looking than some of them. It is said she struggled to “fit in”, trying by changes of personal styling, hair colour and the like, to do so. So, it is clear that she was “different”. She paid a high price for her difference. She was bullied mercilessly by her fellow students – until she could take it no more. Her final words to her father were, “I love you Daddy, goodnight”...followed by a goodnight kiss. She was found dead in the morning.

Now, what gave me pause about all of this, was a statement from the Vancouver police. “We haven’t found any evidence that the bullying rose to the level of a crime.” Really? How much evidence do you need...the girl is DEAD! The stupidity of the police statement really gives credence to their image as donut eating dopes. Eden Wormer felt that the bullying was of such an unbearable intensity that she preferred not to continue living...her own action, in killing herself, is irrefutable proof that the bullying was of a criminal level. I realize that the world’s police forces typically do not attract the brightest people, but even they should understand that the effects of bullying are subjective – they are determined by what is felt by the victim. In this case, the victim was persecuted to death. Her death is proof that a crime took place, in my view.

The Vancouver police have seemingly indicated that they are not going to do anything about this death. Well, they should. Every one of Eden Wormer’s bullies should be arrested and charged with murder – for that is what they have committed. They murdered Eden Wormer and their weapon was psychological abuse. They abused her to death, abused her so much that she could not take it anymore and fled life, to death, to escape it. They murdered her as assuredly as if they had shot her. So, they should face the same penalty as murderers in her nation. I also believe that they should be charged as adults, since anyone, even a teenager, can understand that bullying is hurtful – after all, that is its intent and purpose, so, of course, they understood that they were hurting Eden Wormer.

I did some background research on this story by entering the terms “bullying and suicide” into Google. I was disturbed at the vast number of bullying related suicides that came up as news items...some of them from kids as young as 10 years old. Yet, it is clear that very little is done to stop bullying. Bullying was rampant at my school, King’s College School, Wimbledon – both of the physical and the psychological kind. I personally experienced one or the other (usually the latter) on most days of my entire school career in the senior school there. The culture was truly awful...one of bullying the brightest or those who stood out in some way. It was mindless, cruel and malevolent – and ever persistent...it just went on and on, on a daily basis, grinding away at one’s core. Somehow, I endured it...but it wasn’t fun being the brunt of so much hostility. So, I can fully understand what Eden Wormer went through. I fought back in various ways and adopted an outward persona that was so intimidating, in its own way, that it made many of my bullies back off...it worked. I created a barrier for myself, that kept away much of the bullying...a psychological barrier of my own – one in which it became less likely that anyone would challenge me. Yet, of course, though the physical bullying was snuffed out by this, mostly, the psychological bullying remained – the sneers, the whispered words, the social exclusion, and so on...that was unstoppable...but at least I found my own way to close down the physical aspect of the bullying. Eden Wormer, it is clear, found no way to deal with what she was going through. She found no means to protect herself. So, in the end, she felt she had no choice but to kill herself.

Schools, in general, the world over, seem to do little to address bullying. They seem to see it as an accepted part of the child’s world and don’t intervene too much. Yet, bullying is highly destructive. It can make childhood hell for its victims. King’s College School, Wimbledon, was hell for me, for much of my time there...but I endured it, because I had a very strong sense of myself. I understood that those who disliked me, did so out of jealousy for what I had shown I was able to do. Intelligence was not a characteristic that made one popular at my school. Indeed, it seemed to be a liability, particularly if combined with enough creativity to make one “different”. That always courted a venomous response. I remember one other boy, who was physically and psychologically different – though I shan’t name him to spare him embarrassment. He was laughed at, on many occasions...the other boys (it was a boys’ school), would just jeer at him, when he opened his mouth, when he expressed his view, when he simply talked. Partly this was because his speech was odd, in sound – but in general I think it was because he was different. He seemed to ignore it all – but really, it must have been hell for him, to have such almost universal disdain directed at him, on a daily basis. The one thing that seemed to protect him, was that he believed he was smarter than other people. I thought this a little misplaced, at times, though. He once said to me, when I asked him about a physics question: “Oh, you wouldn’t understand.”. That was funny because in S level physics, I received a grade 1 Distinction – and he ended up with a grade 2 Merit...so perhaps he was the one who wouldn’t have understood! Nevertheless, though he was not quite right in his view of superiority, it was good that he had this belief to protect him – for no-one ever intervened on his behalf.

It is time for bullying to be treated as a crime. If a victim commits suicide owing to the bullying, then the bullies should be arrested and charged with murder – for their psychological and perhaps physical abuse, had killed someone. Ethically, and legally, bullying should be regarded as an attack with a psychological weapon, where no physical attack is involved. It should be recognized that psychological abuse, on a persistent long term basis, can destroy a person’s will to live. In short, bullying can kill. It should, therefore, be treated in the same way as all other intentional behaviours that lead to the death of another. It should be treated as murder. Were bullying punished in this way, by those sentences appropriate to murder, whenever it results in a death, bullying would rapidly decline, in all nations that implemented such punishments. If the bullies understood that they could spend a very long time in prison, or in some severe cases, perhaps, receive the death penalty themselves, they would not be so keen to bully others. The world’s bullies must be led to understand that they place themselves at personal risk of very severe punishments, whenever they bully anyone else. There are simply too many deaths related to bullying, for the world’s societies to stand idly by. Punish bullies for their very real crimes. Stop bullying now – and save the next “Eden Wormer” from suicide.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

(If you would like to support my continued writing of this blog and my ongoing campaign to raise awareness about giftedness and all issues pertaining to it, please donate, by clicking on the gold button to the left of the page.

To read about my fundraising campaign, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-in-support-of-my.html and here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/01/fundraising-drive-first-donation.html

If you would like to read any of our scientific research papers, there are links to some of them, here: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2011/02/research-papers-by-valentine-cawley-and.html

If you would like to see an online summary of my academic achievements to date, please go here: http://www.getcited.org/mbrz/11136175To learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 5, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

There is a review of my blog, on the respected The Kindle Report here:http://thekindlereport.blogspot.com/2010/09/boy-who-knew-too-much-child-prodigy.html

Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

You can get my blog on your Kindle, for easy reading, wherever you are, by going to: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Who-Knew-Too-Much/dp/B0042P5LEE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1284603792&sr=8-1

Please let all your fellow Kindlers know about my blog availability - and if you know my blog well enough, please be so kind as to write a thoughtful review of what you like about it. Thanks.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at:http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/

Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is athttp://www.genghiscan.com/This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

The end of Israel.

One day, it seems likely, there will be no Israel. At least, not in its present form. Ironically, the reason for this will not be hostile Arab nations, but Israel itself.

I was struck, the other day, by the foolishness of Israeli forces killing human rights activists who just wished to deliver aid, through Israel's blockade. Israel, rather comically, and absurdly, one might note, tried to blame the activists, for their own deaths, saying that the activists had attacked their commandos. That is right: commandos. The Israelis had sent commandos to board their ship - and then had the gall to be surprised when the activists objected and tried to defend their ship from the incursion.

Most people would agree that the activists acted in a perfectly natural way, to defend their ship against boarding by hostile forces. If the Israelis had meant no harm...why board, and why use commandos?

What Israel forgets, or doesn't care about it, so much, is that the whole world is watching them - and much of the world was left unimpressed by their actions. It may even be that people who had no prior sympathy for Palestine, might acquire some through watching the actions of Israel.

Israel may not care about world opinion - but it should. It is only through a network of global support, that Israel continues to survive as a nation. I am not sure that, alone and entirely unsupported, as it might one day be, that Israel could survive in the Middle East, for long.

After World War II, almost every nation had sympathy for the Jews and what they went through - but that sympathy is being gradually eroded by the Israel that surviving Jews and their descendants have built. Modern Israel is too heavy handed, too, might I say, brutal, to win new friends or to hold on, indefinitely, to the ones it has.

Should Israel continue to be heavy-handed, the "sympathy capital" of the Holocaust, will be gradually eroded, until, one day, none of it remains. Then, Israel might stand alone, in its hostile quarter of the world...but not, I think, for long.

It was right that the world should have been sympathetic to the Jews after World War II - but now, as Israel wields its power in the world, in an often heavy handed, ill-thought out manner - it is also right that it should begin to lose that sympathy. It is only natural. Indeed, I am struck by the irony that a people once bullied, and terrorized, as they were in World War II should now, in some quarters, be seen, themselves as bullies and terrorizers, of others.

Israel feels that it must be this aggressive to survive. However, their situation is exquisitely ironic - because the more aggressive they are, the more resentful will their neighbours become and the more likely it will be that they will, one day, be extinguished. The very strategy which they feel is necessary for survival, is the very strategy that is hastening the day they will be extinguished.

Only if true peace comes in the Middle East, will Israel be secure from destruction. Yet, I don't see peace being what Israel is actually pursuing. Israel is, instead, seeking a kind of power or dominance over its neighbours. In some ways, they are seeking to use fear, to control their enemies. Again, I see the irony of those who once had much to fear, themselves turning to fear, as a weapon for survival.

I do not know enough about the Middle East, to comment definitively - but I know this: Israel's own actions, lose them more friends, than it wins them power over their enemies. They are eroding their international support base. They are damaging their own image, as historical victims, deserving of support.

In a way, I would not be surprised if some elements of Israel's enemies are rejoicing at Israel's actions: for it is undermining the Israeli state more effectively than most actions those enemies have themselves been able to take.

Israel needs to practice diplomacy, not muted war: they should be striving to master the well-chosen word, over the mailed fist. Sadly, however, I think they feel more secure in military power, than in peace-seeking diplomacy.

One day, I think, Israel will come to understand that its conduct, has led to its undoing. All Israel needs to do, to ensure its own ultimate end, is to just carry on precisely as it is, now. The Israelis will do the work, that their enemies have been unable to do. Given their stubborn-ness and tendency not to listen to international opinion, I think it is almost certain, that the Israelis will be their own undoing.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Fintan and the bully.

Fintan has recently started a new school. He is enjoying it and is making lots of friends. However, not everyone wants to be his friend. A couple of days ago, he told us a little tale of life at school.

"Daddy...today a bully came up to me and kicked me in the leg, for no reason."

I found the way he told of the incident very informative. He seemed genuinely puzzled that anyone, that he had never harmed, should wish to harm him. He had not encountered this kind of behaviour before.

"How did you respond?", I enquired, gently, hoping for one particular answer.

"I pushed him down to the ground.", he said, his gaze falling inward, to remember the moment.

"That's good.", I approved, for it was the kind of answer that I had hoped for.

So, Fintan, at six, has encountered his first bully - and, I think, bested him. You see Fintan did what the research on the effects of bullying says a child should do: fight back. It is the biggest mistake in the world, to tell a child to "turn the other cheek". You see if a child lets the bully get away with bullying, that child will never learn to assert themselves, to stand up for themselves, to face difficulties - they will always be hiding from them, and running from them. Fintan did the right thing - even if, I am sure, he did it in his own mild, slightly puzzled way.

Interestingly, the research I read recently says that children who fight back, when faced with bullying grow up to be much more socially competent than children who just hold in their response, and simmer away in resentment at the way they are being treated. The child who fights back, is much the more emotionally mature child. No doubt, there are other benefits, too. Perhaps next time that particular bully thinks of having a go at Fintan, he will pause and reflect that, the first time he tried it, didn't work out too well - and then pass on, and leave Fintan in peace.

So, my advice to Fintan, and any other kid who is bullied is simple: meet every hostility, with one of your own. In time, those who are trying to bully you, will just back off and leave you alone - and go off to pick on easier targets.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

A triumph over teacher bullying

Often what is said in comments gets lost, so I am going to draw your attention to a success story here. Anna Stanton is a parent, from England, of a gifted child, who has posted a comment a few times about her child's situation. Her son Jack, was not being treated well by his reception class teacher. Jack is six. His teacher had even resorted to destroying his creative work, shouting at him and isolating him from the rest of the class, face against the wall. These are all signs of bullying.

Among the many possible solutions I suggested, was the one adopted: speaking to the Principal regarding moving class. That was done. The move was allowed - and now Jack is much happier, being taught by a teacher who is himself gifted. This is the best solution of all: a teacher who knows giftedness by possession of it. His new teacher accepts him for who he is, sets ability appropriate work - and rewards him for the signs of creative production he shows. I am happy for Jack - and his mother.

Thus, if your child is not happy in school...don't let the situation continue: act, for action brings rewards, when done carefully.

The beginnings of this story is found as a comment under The Confederacy of Dunces at: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/confederacy-of-dunces.html

and continued at Are you the parent of a gifted child? at: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/11/are-you-parent-of-gifted-child.html

If you would like to learn about my scientific child prodigy son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, six, and his gifted brothers, go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of child genius, adult genius, prodigy, savant, and gifted children in general. Thanks.

The biggest bully in the school

Who is the biggest bully in the school? Is it the oldest kid in the classroom? The heaviest in the class? The one with the nastiest temper, most given to anger? Think about it for a second or two.

Perhaps you have thought of it, perhaps you haven't. Sometimes it is the teacher who is the bully.

What do I mean by a teacher who bullies? Well, sometimes a teacher takes a dislike to a student, often a gifted student, and engages in directed attacks. They might be in the form of remarks at the expense of the child, it might be shouting, intimidating, social isolation, expulsion from the class, or more simply, but just as harmfully, ignoring the student: never choosing the student to answer a question and ignoring that student's question.

Why would a teacher pick on a gifted child? Sometimes the teacher is somewhat insecure or inadequate and feels threatened by the gifted child who always asks questions she cannot answer. Sometimes, the teacher takes offense when the gifted child seems bored and disinterested in the class: this teacher might punish the student in some way - yet what is the student's crime - it is the teacher who is being boring by teaching below the level at which the child could work.

Sometimes the teacher simply cannot understand what the student does or says. This teacher is usually not very bright and can react with anger at the actions, words, thoughts and questions of the gifted child. One such teacher has bullied the gifted child of a reader of this blog. I have answered her in the post beneath "A confederacy of dunces", below, at: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/confederacy-of-dunces.html

The teacher shouted at the reception class student (aged 6) who had made a model of a nephron, part of a kidney, in class, on his own initiative, having been asked to do something else, along with the others.

For this display of creativity and technical skill, memory and knowledge, the teacher shouted at him, "Not to be so silly", when he told her what it was, dismantled his model in front of him, told him "It is naughty to lie to me and waste material." and sent him to stare at a blank wall for the rest of the afternoon.

That action is many things, but one thing it is most certainly, is bullying. Just because the perpetrator in question is a teacher, it does not alter the status of her action: it was the act of a bully. It also demonstrated very clearly that his teacher is far from bright - she is probably not bright enough to teach the average kids, never mind the gifted ones.

How common is bullying by teachers? I can only go by those who have confided in me. My wife experienced it. I experienced it, my brother experienced it too. My reader's gifted child experienced it. I would say, therefore, that it is not uncommon for the teacher to be a bully.

I will speak more of my own and my family's bullying experiences in another post. For now, ask yourself, as the parent of a gifted child: is my child being bullied, by his teacher? Would you know if it were happening? Teachers are in a position of responsibility and respect: the student is conditioned to accept whatever they do. Some teachers abuse this position - and their students. Tell your child that the teacher has no more right to engage in destructive behaviours towards them than anyone else has. Ask your child to describe any incident in which the teacher upset them. Judge if the teacher was engaging in bullying. If so, speak to the Principal and ask for a different class for your child that would not expose him or her to that teacher - or find another school, if the behaviour is chronic. The most damaging bully of all, is a teacher - for the student has no protection from them and no help from anyone against them. Naturally the teacher is supposed to protect the child from bullies, not be bully.

Remember it is the gifted child who is more likely to be bullied because they will stand out as a target in the classroom, so if your child is gifted, be on special guard.

If you have experience of bullying teachers, or your children have, please share your experiences in the comments.

(If you would like to learn about Ainan Celeste Cawley, six, a scientific child prodigy, and his gifted brothers go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html )