The pain of brilliance.

I know a very bright young Professor, in his thirties, in a foreign University, in South America. I won’t give any more identifying details, because I think he should remain anonymous to protect him. Now, he is very much brighter than a typical person. He came first in a competitive examination to determine who would be selected for his academic position. He is publishing papers at a good rate and is making a name for himself in his discipline. He is even working with a very famous University, in Europe, on a special project. This is a mark of distinction indeed, for he is doing something for them, that they are not able to do themselves. In short, he is doing well in his academic career. He has come far for one so young. Yet, it doesn’t make him happy. Why, you wonder?

Well, it is simple. He is in pain...social pain. It brings him almost to tears to have to deal with his fellow academics in his University, because they are almost all mediocre, by comparison to him. Everyday, he must try to accommodate himself to the general “dumbness” that surrounds him. Everyday, he must struggle through conversations with people who are completely unable to follow his thoughts, should he allow himself to show them to others. He is suffocating. He is enveloped in a social bubble that prevents true communication to those around him, simply because it is impossible for them to understand him. Now, I understand him well. I know this situation. Perhaps that is why he discussed it with me.

My friend’s problem is the peculiar affliction of many gifted people all over the world. If one is truly gifted, then, in a very real sense, one is also truly cursed. For with the gifts of the mind, come the curses of the social world. It is essentially impossible for my friend, to fit in, in his present environment, because the disparity in intelligence, between him and those around him, is too marked. He is brilliant. They are not. Nothing that he, himself, can do, will ever change that. The only way he can accommodate to it, is by hiding himself, and nurturing a false public self, to be accepted. However, the real him is still there, inside, hidden away, quietly suffocating, quietly tortured by it all.

I have suggested to him that he find a more elite University to join, for the average intelligence of the staff should be greater, and there are likely to be more truly bright academics there. I hope he does so, for there can be nothing but misery in his future, if he stays where he is.

Everyone who is not truly gifted, imagines that life must be wonderful for those who are. The truth, however, is rather different. Great gift is a great burden, too. With every blessing it brings, there are concomitant curses that nothing the gifted person does, will ever change. It is still a blessing to be gifted – but a mixed blessing. It is not innately a gift that brings great happiness in its wake. Happiness, as a gifted person, must be worked for. Each gifted person must come to their own accommodation with the world and must find their own path within it, that satisfies whatever personal, professional and social needs they may have. Some, like myself, find that the best solution is to become accustomed to a quiet life. If one does not need constant social contact, or gives up that need, then life is easier – for there are many other ways to be fulfilled, that don’t involve people.

I am lucky. I have a good wife who complements me well. That fulfils my primary social needs. Anything else is a bonus. I enjoy the company of intelligent people, when I have the chance to spend time with them – but I have learnt not to need such company too often. Every now and again, is enough, to meet any social need I might have.

My friend does not deserve to be in pain. He did not ask to be the way he is. He did not make himself more intelligent than the people around him. That is just the way he is. Yet, he suffers all the same. Many gifted people suffer likewise – yet their pain goes unknown, it is something overlooked, marginalized and ignored. Rather than being understood, many gifted people are envied. So, not only do they have to put up with the pain of intellectual isolation – but they receive varying degrees of social hostility too, quite often. This is sad, because, like I said, they are the way they are, through no fault of their own. One cannot blame someone for their genetic inheritance.

I hope my friend manages to change his life for the better and finds a more intelligent milieu in which to live. I hope, too, that every significantly gifted person, in the world, finds at least one other, to relate to, at the level they would wish to, in an ideal world. That is all it takes, to make the pain go away: one person to talk to, freely. Do you have that?

Posted by Valentine Cawley

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My Fortieth Birthday

Today, it is Happy Birthday me. I am forty years old.

I must say it seems odd to write that number. It appears to be rather greater a number than I feel has fairly passed. In other words, it didn't seem to take long to reach forty. That, in itself, is worrying. It implies it will seem just as brief a time to reach 80. Ouch.

However, much has happened in my forty years - particularly in the last ten of them. Since 30 I have gone from being a single man of no children, without a house to call my own (rented only) to a married father of three, living on a different continent, and in a pleasant apartment. So, quite a lot has changed.

Life is better now, I think than when I was 20 - so I can't complain. In fact, it is surprising to be able to write that. Everyone seems to think that the young have it better. I am not convinced that it is so. I am now twice as old as at 20 - yet I feel that life is a lot more than twice as good.

I don't have time to count my blessings at this point, since I am to take a brief holiday, for which I have to ready myself.

This blog is one of the new additions to my life since I was 30 - and an enjoyable one it is too. I shall keep writing. I hope you continue to enjoy reading.

Though I am halfway to being an old man...I am a contented one. Forty is not so bad, I think.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day all.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and one month, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and seven months, and Tiarnan, two years exactly, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)