The magic of a baby name.

Sometimes, the search engines teach me surprising things about the way others think. Today, for instance, someone arrived on my blog, having searched with the terms "prodigy boy names". The searcher was from Stanwood, Washington in the USA.

Now that search gave me pause for what it suggested about the thinking of the searcher. The most obvious interpretation is that they were searching for a name for a new born or soon to be born boy - and had decided to name their child after a prodigy. I found that rather sad for what it suggested the child's childhood would be like. The most likely outcome would be that the child would not meet the parents' expectations - for, it doesn't take much knowledge of people to realize that anyone who would name their child after a prodigy, is implicitly stating that they would like a prodigy for a child. The problem with that, of course, is that, unless prodigiousness is in their genes, as a gift that they may pass onto their child, there is just no way that they are going to have a prodigious child. They can wish all they want. They can choose the most prodigious of names - but that name has no magic in it. It is not going to cast a spell over the child and make that child, suddenly, miraculously, into some kind of clone of the prodigy from whom the name comes. The name of a prodigy is an accidental label, that may be readily detached from the prodigy and used to label someone else. Yes. However, the properties and qualities of that prodigy do not come with the label. Conferring the name of a prodigy onto a child does not make that child into a prodigy. In fact, it is going to do something else: it is going to make the child very sad indeed.

The problem, you see, is that, one day, the child will understand where the name comes from. This is clear because prodigies tend to become famous - so the child is likely to hear of their famous namesake, at some point. When the child does, it will eventually occur to them that they could have been named AFTER the prodigy. Indeed, if the name is a rare one - as I have observed the names of some prodigies are - such as Ainan, for instance - then the child may conclude, quite fairly, that he or she MUST have been named after the prodigy. Then the line of reasoning will lead the child to understand, in time, that the only real reason that their parents could have for selecting that name is if they admired the prodigy in some way. It is a small step from that to realizing that the name was an aspirational choice of the parents - and that they, indeed, wanted their son or daughter to be LIKE the prodigy in question. In short, they would realize that their parents wanted to have a prodigious child.

What happens, however, if, as is overwhelmingly likely, the child in question is NOT a child prodigy? Well, that can only lead to a deep unhappiness about who they are and what they have achieved. It can only lead them to conceive of themselves as inadequate, as a failure and as not meeting their parents' expectations. This is psychologically very damaging for a child. Thus, it can be seen that, far from being a good choice for a child's name, the name of a prodigy is, in fact, the worst choice of name for a child. Indeed, it gets worse. Imagine, now, that the parents of the child TRULY wanted a prodigy for a child. Imagine that they TRULY admired the nature and quality of the prodigy after whom they had named their child. Imagine then, how TRULY sad, it would be to have to use the name of that prodigy, every time they spoke to their own child, constantly reminding themselves of the contrast between aspiration and reality, between the fabled prodigy, and their own, rather more normal child. I am sure, indeed, absolutely certain, that that would take a toll on the parents, after awhile. They may not even be aware of the source of their unhappiness: but it would lay in the very name they had chosen for their child. Every time they utter it, they would be invoking the image of the OTHER, in their minds, unconscious or otherwise, they would be recalling the nature of the one they had admired enough to name their child after them - and would then, reflexively compare that image to the reality of their child before them. It would lead them to see their child as less than they should be. It would lead, perhaps, to them being disappointed with their child and perhaps, to undervaluing them. Yet, it should not be. You see, their child is uniquely special. There will never be another child in the whole history of the human race, like their child. Their child should be valued precisely because he or she is NOT like the prodigy, precisely because he or she, is uniquely his or her self. It is not in the particular abilities, that a human being is truly valuable, but in their particularities: the uniquenesses that make them unlike any other. Once that is understood, all children are to be equally cherished, for all children are equally unique.

Yes, of course, it is a wonder to a parent to have a child with special abilities. It is something that can bring great pleasure to any parent. However, one must not forget that ANY child, indeed, ALL children should bring great pleasure to their parents. Each child should be accepted as they are, treasured for what they are and not found wanting for what they are not.

To name a child after someone special, is a mistake that will reverberate throughout the life of the child - for it is vastly more likely that the comparison will not be a favourable one, for the child -and therefore would be a damaging one, to their self-esteem to have it constantly recalled to mind, each time their hear their own name or are moved to say it. In some way, to be named after another, is to have one's own life and identity taken away from one. It is to become less unique and somewhat blended, in people's minds and unconscious understandings, into the image of the one after whom they are named.

Thus, if you are to name a child, choose a name for personal reasons, for internal reasons that have nothing to do with the famed individuals in the outside world. However, if you do choose a famous name be aware of this: to do so, would be to ensure a life of constant comparison between your child and the famed person. The question is: would your child do well in that comparison? Is it fair on the child? Do you want them constantly to be reminded of a probably greater other that they were supposed to be like, but never were?

It is a dangerous game, therefore, to name a child after the famous. Choose instead, a quiet name, into which the child can grow. Choose a name they can make their own. Who knows, perhaps, the child will grow into someone special indeed and leave others with the dilemma of whether to name their own child, after yours.

Happy baby naming! Choose wisely and with aforethought...

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.htmlI also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

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A sense of achievement.

What does a sense of achievement mean, these days? When I was younger, it had a clear connotation: that of real accomplishment giving rise to solid feelings of having done something worthwhile. Nowadays, it seems to be seem somewhat different.

Recently, I got talking to a student from China. I asked him what his greatest achievement had been, so far. His answer took some time in coming.

"I don't think I have achieved anything in my life. My achievements are all the seeking of pleasure, because I am a hedonist. I used to dance and drink all night long - and abuse drugs. Those are my achievements. Now, I have changed, as I have come of age. Now, I am trying to study English."

His answer was one many young people, today, could have given. Real achievement is not the aim of many of them: pleasure and entertainment are. Many modern lives are shallow things, lived just for sensation. It has even gone so far that a member of this younger generation can regard the pleasure seeking itself as his life's most worthy achievements.

The only hope in his reply is that he perceived that he had changed and that he was now trying to learn English. Colouring that reply, however, is that he often seemed listless in class, as if the life had been drained from him. Perhaps that was the damage done by his earlier lifestyle.

I worry about the future, when the present is filled with people whose aims are shallow. A great future cannot be built on the efforts of shallow people. The civilization that such people would build would, at one time, have been called hell. Is that what the future shall bring?

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

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Prince Charles on Human Achievement.

In 2004, Prince Charles commented on the aspirations of young people today. His comments were widely reported and were critically attacked. Many people thought he was trying to say that people shouldn't try to rise above their station, in life. They thought he was being, in some way, feudal. However, I don't think he really intended that. Let us look at what he is quoted to have said:

"What is wrong with everyone nowadays? Why do they all seem to think they are qualified to do things far beyond their technical capabilities? This is to do with the learning culture in schools as a consequence of child-centred system which admits no failure. People think they can all be pop stars, High Court judges, brilliant TV personalities or infinitely more competent heads of state without ever putting in the necessary work or having natural ability. This is the result of social utopianism which believes humanity can be genetically and socially engineered to contradict the lessons of history."

He is observing what is evident in young people in the Western world (and perhaps elsewhere, too): they seem to think they are going to be great. By this, I mean, that a typical teenager believes he or she is going to be one of the things that Prince Charles refers to: a pop star, a TV personality, a High Court Judge, a Head of State. One could extend the categories: a film star, a footballer, a millionaire (a billionaire), a model...etc, etc...Young people of today think their success is assured. They think that they stand above others now and ever will in the future. From the perspective of an experienced adult, who has actually seen the world in action, such an abundance of exuberant ambition is sobering to witness. It is sobering precisely because it is unrealistic.

What Prince Charles was grappling with is the simple fact that all of these aspirations that the children hold, require something most of the children will not have: natural ability, for one, and often a degree of willingness to work hard towards one's goals. For instance, any child can kick a ball. Many a child can dream of being the next David Beckham - but how many of those children actually have a significant athletic ability? How many of them have signicantly greater an athletic ability than their fellow children? How many of them, furthermore, are willing to hone their skills and their bodies through long years of training? Very, very few, indeed, I expect. They see the glamourous end: the famous footballer jetting about the world, from game to game, enchanted fans in hot pursuit. What they don't see is what that footballer had to go through to get there. They are able to envisage the beautiful life they would have, as a famous footballer, but not the life that is actually led to reach those goals.

Prince Charles was much criticized for his views - but I don't think that people were right to do so. I think that the media, in general, failed to understand what he was trying to say. He was saying that the youth of today had aspirations beyond their ability to achieve them. They aspired to be famous film stars, when they couldn't act and were not beautiful. They aspired to be pop stars, when they could neither dance nor sing, and did not delight the eye. They aspired to be High Court judges, when their academic prowess was only mediocre at best. His view is that the children had unrealistic expectations. His view was that the school system, which never chastised the children for mediocrity, never used the word "failure" in their general direction, did not acquaint the children with the idea that failure was possible. While this is good for self-esteem, it may lead to children who have unjustifiably high self-esteem. These are children who really, really, really, believe in themselves - but who really, really, really, lack justification for that self-belief. It was Prince Charle's implicit view that this situation was not rare, but common. Most youngsters of today fell into that trap. Most of them thought of themselves as great people, for whom great success was assured. Sadly, of course, almost all of them are going to fail. Statistics alone guarantee it. If you have a nation of 60 million people of whom 20 million aspire to be film stars and that nation only has enough room for 20 such film stars in that generation...how many are going to fail in their aspiration? 999,999 out of every 1,000,000. Only one in a million will see their dream come true. It is the same for all their other aspirations. So many people will be aspiring to their positions of success than there are places in those respective realms. The result is, of course, that almost all of them are destined for failure in their primary goals. Almost all of them will have to revise their goals, along the way, and settle for something else.

This is the reality of which they are unaware that, I think, Prince Charles was trying to awaken them to. The modern media world has conditioned people to believe that great success is available to all. The modern media creates stars out of nobodies, through reality shows. The modern media creates the belief in people that celebrity and wealth and a life of ease, are available to all, when in fact that they have always been and always shall be available only to the few. This is the "lesson of history" to which I think he refers. Great success has always been a rarity and always will be.

Prince Charles is not saying that people should not rise above their station - as some media criticized him. He is saying that they should have a realistic understanding of who they are, so that they might aspire to something they can actually achieve. A life spent chasing pop stardom when one doesn't have the requisite and multiple, native abilities, is going to be a life wasted. What if that person has, instead, other skills that might be better employed as a nurse or a doctor? Then that person really should look at the medical field. It is a question of finding a good match, in terms of career, for who you are. Too many people waste their lives aspiring to dreams that have no realistic possibily of coming true, simply because the people in question lack the requisite abilities.

Thus there is wisdom, not foolishness, in Prince Charles' advice.

Aim for what is a reasonable choice, for you. Do not aim for iconic cultural roles such as footballer or film star - unless you really have what it takes to succeed in such fields.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and one month, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and six months, and Tiarnan, twenty-three months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)