Natural hairstyle and individuality

As regular readers will know, Fintan, four, has curly hair. Yet, we live in Singapore - a "Land of the Straight-Hairs", as I call it. Basically everyone, apart from foreign visitors, has straight, black, flat hair.

A few days ago, Syahidah took Fintan to the Science Centre, in Singapore. This is a kind of interactive Science Museum - though not as extensive as the Science Museum in Kensington, London, that I remember from my childhood, it is still worth a visit, particularly for children.

While wandering around the exhibits, Syahidah noticed two children who looked rather surprising: they both had curly hair.

"Look Fintan!" she pointed them out to him, "They are like you."

He looked and he saw and then he spoke a little disenchantedly, "Yeh, but who is the father?"

His arm picked out a man far away across the room, amidst the bustle of many people coming and going - a curly headed man. How he spotted the man in such a crowded, busy, poorly lit, room is a marvel - but being sharp of eye is typical for Fintan.

There was too much separation between the children and the "father" so Syahidah watched him for a while. Soon enough she saw him close the gap between them and interact with the kids: sure enough, he was the father.

This was one of the only occasions that Fintan has ever seen another curly headed person. Two things are interesting here: first, he was very quick to scan the environment and link the distant curly headed man as father to the nearby curly headed children. But also, it is telling, perhaps in a sad way, the conclusion he drew from this: that those children had reason enough for their curly hair - but he did not. You see neither his mother nor his father have curly hair - but we both have slightly wavy hair. It seems that two genetic doses of "wavy" is enough to make hair curly.

Why do I write this? Well, Fintan feels set apart by his appearance here, in Singapore. No other child of his acquaintance looks remotely like him. He doesn't look Malay (but is half-Malay), he doesn't look Irish (but is half-Irish), he doesn't look Chinese (but speaks it a little), he doesn't look Indian (but occasionally eats their food!). He has no real visual affiliation with any of the basic groupings of Singapore. Being of two different racial lineages, he looks only like his brothers. Allied to this disparity of race, is his hairstyle - abundant, never straight, curls, with plenty of natural body - and this makes him feel marked out from his fellow children. That feeling is unlikely to ever leave him, unless we live somewhere else.

Even Syahidah's attempt to make him feel that there were others, by pointing out the curly-headed children fell flat - because the father's appearance made it clear where their appearance comes from: Fintan has no such understanding of his origin. He cannot say to himself: "My hair looks like Daddy's" or "My hair looks like Mummy's". The fact is, it looks like neither's. Perhaps, then, he feels a little unanchored, a little set adrift. He needs to be moored to the facts of his origin - in a comprehensible visual way - but, owing to his mixed genetic lineage, he cannot really have that. The admixture has obscured his origins - and made something new.

Yet, I am happy for him that he is different. He is different in many ways - and not just hair. He is very much himself and unlike any other. In time, I think he will come to appreciate that and learn to be content with the way things are. It is just that, at four years old, finding common ground with one's fellow youngsters is a big social issue.

I look forward to the day when he is happy to be a stocky, curly headed, half-Irish, half-Malay, handsome man!

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and nine months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, four years and two months, and Tiarnan, nineteen months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)

On haircuts and conformity

What is so important about a haircut? I have been prompted to wonder this by my son Ainan's school's obsession with the issue.

You see Ainan's hair has a natural wave in it. This gives him a "Romantic" appearance, when his hair is left to its own devices, akin to the Byronic era (and his friend Shelley, for that matter - we mustn't forget him). As a general impression, Ainan's hair, for me, conveys character and distinguishes him from others. Why is this? Well, we are living in Singapore, The Land of the Straight Hairs (as a Red Indian might have put it). Almost everyone in Singapore has straight black hair which lies flat upon their head. It is unobtrusive, looks the same from person to person, and doesn't get in the way.

Ainan's hair is different (though not curly like Fintan's on which I have posted on another occasion). In Singapore different seems to mean "not good". I make this as an observation of a general trend. That which stands out tends to be criticized, subtly or otherwise - and it has long been this way. In this manner, people are encouraged to stay within narrow bounds - and in general they do. It leads to a conformist society.

The matter of hair is just one on which conformism is enforced. In Singapore's government schools a standard short haircut is required. No-one's hair is allowed to deviate from this. There is no room for personality, or individuality of appearance: everyone must conform to the ideal of very short, sharply cut, tidy hair. Well, frankly, it looks ugly on many people - but that is the rule.

I came to know this rather abruptly when I was picking Ainan up from school. A teacher hovered about him waiting for someone. That someone turned out to be me. "Are you the father?" He began, sternly, without stating whom I was supposed to be the father of - which is odd considering how many children there were around. I guessed he meant Ainan, since they were quite near each other.

"Yes." I replied, unsure whether that was the best answer, true though it was.

"He has to get a haircut." He said this in a way that let you know that he was quite put out by the matter. It was a matter that provoked some irritation - anger, even, in him. He went further: "His hair is too long for this school."

I looked at Ainan's hair. It was not short, but neither was it long. It had what I call a "natural length" - it just seemed right - a middling sort of length that didn't get in his eyes, but gave his head some character, something distinctive about it - what with his wavy hair framing his face. I couldn't see anything wrong with it.

I felt his stern-ness of character as he stood in silence then. After a minute - or two - quite literally passed with nothing being said between us - because frankly I was unimpressed with his PR skills, so brusque did he seem, he said: "Well, are you going to get it cut?"

I just nodded minimally and grunted. I wasn't going to give him a word.

The funny thing was, he was basically stating that he thought Ainan's hair was somehow scruffy because it was too long. I busied myself throughout that silent two minutes pondering his appearance. He had a certain definite scruffiness himself. His hair was short - but his clothes hung sloppily on a frame that had definitely never been to a gym (though it was possible that he had swallowed a gym, and carried it around in his generous belly). It was funny that a man who projected sloppiness, should be so upset about a child whose hair was not cropped. I said nothing however, for he looked the sort who liked to argue - and I wasn't in the mood.

When I got home I learnt that he had made the same request of my wife, on another day - and yesterday he did so again, for Ainan's grandmother. So, he had stood beside Ainan on many different occasions, seeking to ambush relatives, who came to collect him, over the matter of his hair. It borders on the obsessive.

Yesterday, Ainan got a haircut.

When he came home and I first caught sight of him, my mouth opened in involuntary shock - and I clapped my hand to it. Ainan saw this reaction, but just looked on me impassively, not wishing to recognize my reaction.

Ainan looked very different indeed. Gone was the human quality of his hair, gone was the individual appearance it had given him, gone was the sense of the Romantic age - and what replaced it was a rather militaristic, very short haircut that let not a single wave run through his hair. His hair was neat in the sort of way someone with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) would make it neat. There was not a single hair venturing to stick up from his head. All was flat, tight and orderly. It looked, to my eyes, quite unsettling. It looked just like everyone else in Singapore's schools. Ainan's haircut now looked just as flat and straight - though not black - as everyone else's (owing to its shortness). All the personality of Ainan's appearance had been extracted - and he had become the Required Regulation Schoolboy.

I suppose I will get used to it - but I simply don't like it. I don't like a system which insists on a standardization of appearance of the schoolchildren - a system that doesn't like the kids' personality to come through. Perhaps they are not conscious of what they do - but when teachers make a big issue out of a haircut, as the teacher at Ainan's school did - they are repressing the individuality of their students. It is their individuality which is their most prized possession - if that is squashed, you will end up with a dull nation, filled with dull people who dare not express themselves - correction: filled with people who do not know HOW to express themselves.

There should be no regulation in the matter of appearance in school - or anywhere else. People should be allowed to be themselves and show themselves as they are. Only then can a lively, varied, interesting society be encouraged to grow. Too much emphasis on conformity of appearance (and behaviour - but that is another post) suffocates a nation. No such nation has a long term future in a world that demands creativity and innovation from each country - if those countries are to have a place in that world.

(If you would like to know more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged seven years and seven months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children in general. Thanks.)