Valentine Cawley's gender.

I have noticed that Yahoo search suggests "gender" when my name is put in, as a search item. It is clear, therefore, that many people don't know whether I am male or female. Well, whilst it may disappoint some and delight others, I am male. I know that my name could be a bit confusing, but all the "Valentines" that I am aware of, are men. The women I have heard of, of similar name, are called "Valentina". There is a difference.

I thought it best to answer this question here, because none of the search results, under "Valentine Cawley gender", had the answer - they weren't particularly relevant.

The existence of this puzzlement, on the behalf of enough searchers to be noticed by Yahoo, leads me to understand something: my name is spreading beyond the details of my identity. It seems that my name is becoming detached from my self. It is a strange thought, but clearly there must be people who have heard my name, but who don't know enough about me, other than that, to decide whether I am male or female. It is, I think, a curious position to be in. Yet, perhaps, it is understandable. Many people, after all, will know me for my writing about my children. This would seem not to be the preoccupation of a father, but more like that of a mother. Yet, I write as a father, not as a mother, however odd that might seem to some. In response to the notion that it is odd for a father to write, so copiously, about his children, I would say that a father has a point of view on parenting, too - and perhaps there is more need for a father to write, since fewer do, I would hazard, than mothers. Thus, the father's view is less known, the father's experience less public.

I don't know what elements of my parenting will have lasting interest - or even passing interest - for others, but I know this: if I make no record of them, they can have no interest at all, and will never be known. So, I write, perhaps in the hope of communicating something of interest to some, in time to come, or in time present. If, that confuses people, as to whether I am male, or female, I can fully understand. My role as a writer on family, is a confusing one.

Perhaps it says something of the nature of our society, that there should be confusion as to whether I am male or female. Perhaps we have not advanced so much in our gender roles, as a society, as people might suppose. Perhaps it is still not alright for a father, to be too much directly involved in day to day parenting. It certainly seems a surprise to some, that the writer of this blog should not be the mother, but the father. That speaks of gender expectations, too, in more than one way. Firstly, there are certain expectations of relative involvement in child rearing of mother and father - and secondly, there are still lingering beliefs, among some, that women are more verbal than men - so how can I be a man, when I am so verbal?

Well, some men can use words just as well as women - just as some women read maps, better than almost any man. I am one such person writing contrary to expectations.

So, I may write like a woman, sometimes...but I am a man. I may have a topic more commonly thought of a mother's - but I am a father.

I hope that is clear, now. Happy reading. I hope I haven't upset your view of me, by upturning your idea of what gender I am...but I think the truth is better than a fantasy.

Thank you.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)