The need for greater empathy

Empathy is a much underestimated quality. It is not first on the list of most parents when they speak of what they desire in their children, yet I think it should be.

Parents often seem to want intelligent, beautiful, healthy, happy, creative children...but who among them asks for an empathetic child? I think the world would be a much better place if this quality were more prized.

Empathy has great power. An empathetic child will feel the pain of others around them - will reach out to help them, to comfort, nurture and cherish them. An empathetic child will grow to be a warm hearted person who blesses all they meet with a supportive presence. An empathetic child does not grow up to be a criminal; does not wound or hurt others; does not behave in an anti-social manner. An empathetic child understands well the impact they have on others around them and would never do anything, consciously, to harm another. Empathy is the one quality, that for certain, leads to a better world. Intelligence can be a positive or negative force. Hitler was pretty intelligent, and Stalin too - but it lead neither of them to a place of goodness. Had both been empathetic European history would have been a very different affair. Empathy is a preventer of wars, a guardian against crime, a bringer of happiness. None of the other qualities that I have mentioned: intelligence, creativity, beauty, health and happiness - necessarily has any of its power.

Yesterday, I wrote of Tiarnan's empathetic reaching out to a tree. Now, that might seem funny - but to a fifteen month old toddler, seeing the tree standing alone and immobile in a field, it must have seemed that the tree needed comfort. It was an act of empathy, to reach out to it, and hug it. In that single act, we see that Tiarnan has an empathetic nature - that he is built to care. Tiarnan should, if this act is as diagnostic of an empathetic nature, as it seems to be, grow to be a warm, nurturing, caring and supportive individual. Whatever else he may be - whatever else of the qualities parents normally seek, that he may transpire to possess, I think that number one among those qualities is the inner kindness and thoughtfulness that led him to hug and comfort what, to him, was a lonely tree.

I rather feel that, among the many other things he will no doubt be, Tiarnan will turn out to be, quite simply, a great friend to have. That's empathy.

(If you would like to read more of Tiarnan, sixteen months, or his gifted brothers, Ainan Celeste Cawley, seven years and six months, or Fintan, three, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, the creatively gifted, gifted adults and gifted children, in general. Thanks.)