How to grow up fast.

Little children seem to grow up fast, from their parents’ point of view. Yet, as most of us remember, that growing up doesn’t seem half fast enough when you are a little kid. Tiarnan, today, came up with a solution to the problem.

My four year old son, Tiarnan was talking to his elder brother, Fintan, seven. They were in the kitchen, near the refrigerator, which, perhaps unseen by me, Fintan had probably recently opened. For those who haven’t read long enough to know, Fintan is the big eater of the three sons. He is also the biggest and strongest for his age.

“I want to be you.”, said Tiarnan, to Fintan, as he looked up at his much taller brother.

“Then,”, Fintan began, considering the proposition, “You have to go to my school.” From the way he said it, he seemed to think that would put him off.

Tiarnan was undeterred. “Let’s change places.”, he continued, focusing more intently on his new idea, “You become me, and I become you.”

I interrupted him, then. “Why do you want to be Fintan? Is it because you want to be bigger?”

“Yes.”, he said, simply.

Then the two of them raced off, continuing some imaginary game or other.

To my mind, this encapsulated Tiarnan’s outlook so well. Tiarnan is ever imagining himself as superheroes, who are physically powerful – yet he himself is small. So, something in him wants that power and strength for himself. He sees that Fintan has some of that: he is stocky and well built for his age and quite tall – so, for Tiarnan, a very big step towards his goal of physical power would be simply to become Fintan.

Then there is the more conventional side to Tiarnan’s aspiration: he simply wants to grow up and have the requisite attributes and skills (and size and strength) of an older person. He wants to zip through his childhood and get to a mature stage overnight. This is, of course, a common wish in many children. However, of our three sons, the wish is strongest in Tiarnan, perhaps because he is the youngest and smallest.

What Tiarnan doesn’t appreciate is how we see him. He is most endearing just the way he is, growing up the way he is and changing day by day, the way he is. I, personally, would not see him fast forward through any of it. Simply seeing him change gradually, over time, is a delightful experience. Were there ever a technology that allowed children to become “adult” in form, in a much shorter time frame, I, for one, would not avail myself of it, for my children. Childhood is short enough as it is, without throwing it away entirely.

That being said, the adult like quality of Ainan’s mind is also something I would not change. That brings its own pleasures. However, I am pleased that Ainan’s mental advancement, does not also mean a shorter physical childhood. It is good to see him grow, in the normal way, at an expected rate. It is, in fact, a good reminder, that he is a child, still, however bright he might be – and such a reminder is good to have, lest he be misunderstood.

Tiarnan will just have to be patient, as all children must learn to be – and wait for his own access of strength, size and power to come at the biologically appointed time. As he waits, he can, of course, imagine his own superhero status, all he likes. That, of course, is fun, in itself, to watch – but that is another story.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 7 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

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Please have a read, if you would like a critic's view of this blog. Thanks.

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Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/

Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)

Abby Sunderland and the limits of childhood ambition.

The recent case of Abby Sunderland, the 16 year old girl, who was attempting to sail solo around the world, brought to mind another case of youthful ambition: Jessica Dubroff.

Jessica Dubroff was - and I mean was - a 7 year old student pilot, who sought to be the youngest pilot to fly across America. As most people will know, her surprising ambition, ended in tragedy - with her, her father, Lloyd Dubroff and her flight instructor, Joe Reid, being killed shortly after take off from Cheyenne airport, in bad weather. A veteran pilot who observed the take off, said that the single engined plane appeared to have been overloaded.

When I heard that Abby Sunderland had put out a distress call, some 2,000 miles southwest of Perth, I thought immediately of Jessica Dubroff and how the untempered ambition of youth, can so easily lead to tragedy.

Fortunately, Abby Sunderland was spotted by an Australian plane and rescued by a French vessel. However, her "adventure" raises an issue: were her parents being responsible when they allowed this adventure to happen at all?

I don't think they were. I think her parents had put the possibility of a landmark achievement before the personal safety of their child. They have forgotten that the primary responsibility of any parent is to ensure the safe passage of their child, to adulthood - and that means keeping them alive.

Jessica Dubroff's parents were a little mad. So, too, are Abby Sunderland's. They are a little mad, because they have let the goal (the youngest to sail around the world/fly across the US), to get in the way of a realistic assessment of the situation. In both cases, there was a very real chance of death, for their child. Not just a small chance of death, but a really significant chance of death. In pursuing this ambition, both sets of parents were allowing their children, to risk their lives, unnecessarily. Clearly, the probability of death is difficult to quantify in each case - but I would say that it was rather high. It didn't surprise me, at all, when Jessica Dubroff and her father died. I had rather expected it. It would not have surprised me, either, had Abby Sunderland died, also.

What is being forgotten here is that a child may have the intelligence and learning ability to master a physical skill - that of flying or sailing - but they will not have had the life experience to have developed any wisdom in pursuit of that skill. In other words, when they come upon an unexpected challenge, they will not have the mental wherewithal to deal with it. Death is then likely to rapidly ensue.

It may strike you as curious that I, the father of a child prodigy, should be so unsupportive of Jessica Dubroff's parents and Abby Sunderland's parents, in this matter. However, my disapproval is founded in a realistic understanding of the situation: with child prodigies, knowledge and skill come long before wisdom in their application. The latter can only come from life experience. Thus, the parent who allows an admittedly skillful child to take on a potentially life threatening physical challenge is being foolish at best, culpable at worst.

I support the ambition of any child to achieve anything, as long as that ambition does not endanger the child or anyone else. Both Dubroff's and Sunderland's ambitions fell foul of this stricture. In both cases, the children endangered themselves AND others by their pursuit of their record breaking ambitions. In Dubroff's case she managed to kill her father and instructor, as well as herself. In Sunderland's case, she endangered the lives, not only of herself, but those who came to rescue her in bad weather, with 60 knot winds and waves of 25 feet.

So, if you have a child who has an ambition, take a good look at that goal. Does it endanger the child or others? If so, don't do it. Let the goal wait until the child is old enough to have the experience to pursue it, with greater safety. To do otherwise is to neglect the first law of parenting: keep the child alive, until they are old enough to have children themselves. To break that rule, is to go against the whole force of human evolution, for we are all here today, because every one of our ancestors, obeyed that rule, whether they considered it, or not. I cannot imagine any greater foolishness, therefore, in breaking the very rule that put us all on Earth, in the first place.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)