The impossibility of winning approval.
The first lesson that everyone should learn, about Singaporeans, is that it is impossible to satisfy them: whatever one does, will be seen to be wrong, by some. I shall explain.
On my blog, I have written of the ways in which Singapore's education system did not help Ainan, when it could have done. I have written of its obstructiveness, of its sloth, of its lack of imagination, of its essential unwillingness to do the obvious. I have also written of the times and people for whom we feel gratitude for their support. However, the response to my blog, in certain quarters, is very revealing: they criticize me for being "ungrateful" and for "attacking those who helped you". Well, that is just not true: I have thanked those who actually helped us - and I have criticized only those who did not help us. At no time, have I attacked anyone who helped us, in any way. It seems that these critics have a very selective way of processing information: they only see the criticisms, and do not recognize who the targets are. They also ignore the times I have thanked people.
So, the situation is simple: if I point out the failings of anyone with respect to Ainan, they call me "ungrateful"...but if I express gratitude, as I did in my last post - they are either completely silent, OR THEY ARE NEGATIVE and CRITICAL. Basically, whatever I write, I attract criticism and rebuke from a certain portion of readers who are almost always Singaporean (I don't know why, but they seem to love to bring down their countrymen).
You will note that my last post, which has now been seen by hundreds of people, attracted only two comments: a negative one from "Keith" - from Singapore, saying Ainan had no right to an education, anyway - and from a girl inspired to thank me for what my blog has given her. Note that the Singaporean is critical and hostile - and the foreigner is thankful. I am truly puzzled that this should be so, because the post is one of thanks to an employee of a Singaporean educational institution. Apparently, thanking people is regarded as bad form, by some Singaporeans.
This is not the first time I have seen this tendency from Ainan's countrymen. It can mean only one thing: some people simply resent what we are and what we are doing. So, if we say something negative, they will attack us - and if we say something positive, about the same thing, they will ALSO attack us. They will attack us whatever we do.
Given this, I think it was wise of us to move overseas. All the people we have met in our first two months in Malaysia, have been very pleasant towards us - and I can see, too, that the online chatter, from strangers, is much warmer about us, too. To me, this is mysterious. Ainan was born a Singaporean - but there were too many people there who were cool towards him, or even downright hostile. Yet, we have found the opposite, so far, here in Malaysia. The general tone towards us is warm, some very warm indeed. How strange.
Anyway, it is good to recognize this situation now, rather than have spent more years, being subject to criticism in Singapore. Life looks likely to be happier here, in KL.
I should point out that not all Singaporeans were critical or hostile towards us. Some were nice. It is just that their niceness was drowned out, particularly online, by those who were unpleasant. That is a pity.
Despite this tendency of online critics to criticize us whatever we do, we shall continue to do as we are. There is no point in trying to adjust our behaviour or online presence, to cater to the critics, because, as is abundantly clear, they will criticize us no matter what we do.
So we shall just be ourselves. It is all anyone should be, or should do, whatever others say.
Have a good day.
(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html
I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.
My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/
Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/
This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)
Labels: an overseas view of Singapore, hostility, Malaysia, online critics, the impossibility of winning approval, to yourself be true

