Where sympathy is a crime.
In Singapore, sympathy is a crime. At least, it seems so, from the way posters respond to me whenever I express sympathy for the plight of anyone, at all. I find this both revealing and perturbing. It reveals the Singaporean psyche - such as it is - and perturbs all who understand what is laid bare.
Recently, I have written with sympathy of David Hartanto Widjaja, Zhou Zheng and Dr. Allan Ooi: they all share one common bond - the manner of their deaths. Their suicides have brought them together in a way that life did not, for I doubt that they knew each other. Yet, in death, they are one: the Singapore suicides.
Now, my posts on the pressures that led to their deaths attracted a response that I should have expected, but didn't. Many of the respondents were quite harsh. They blamed the victims. They called them (in some places on the net): "losers", for killing themselves. They were looked down upon for their "weakness". In all, the general thrust of the comments was most unforgiving, not at all sympathetic and altogether rather cold. The impression was left that Singaporeans are a heartless lot, without feeling for their fellow humans - indeed, without any care for them at all. To me, this observation is a greater tragedy than the deaths of the three young men. It is tragic that Singaporeans should care so little for each other that the manner of these deaths should not inspire any sympathy. One begins to understand why, living in this heartless, cold, uncaring society, that three young men would decide to kill themselves. Surely, life, in some quarters in this city, cannot be very pleasant, when one is surrounded by such heartless, unfeeling people.
Another thing that surprised me about the comments I received and read on other sites on the web, is that some of the commenters are noted for their intelligence. They are relatively well-known writers on the net and have, in the past, seemed intelligent on quite a few topics. Yet, on the subject of these recent suicides they are blunt, dismissive, unmoved, unfeeling and uncaring. Quite simply, they react as if at the passing of three cockroaches, rather than three intelligent young people. I found this rather perturbing, for it indicates that in the Singaporean "elite" there is a lack of feeling for one's fellow man. In its place there is cold reason.
This observation of mine is not one based on one instance. It is based on the fact that EVERYTIME I am sympathetic towards someone or something, on the net, I get coldhearted, uncaring and even nasty comments. It happened when Nordin bin Mondong climbed into the tiger enclosure, too. I find this really rather concerning. It indicates that Singaporeans have never really learnt the value of the lives of others. They have never really learnt to appreciate the general concept that life itself is valuable and that each of us is uniquely precious. They have, in its place, a detachment from each other - and a disregard for the fate of their fellows. In particular, they don't care for those who "couldn't cope", those who were overwhelmed by the stresses of this society. There is the general opinion that they were "weak" and therefore deserving of their fates. There is no sympathy, here, for those more sensitive than ourselves. Indeed, sensitivity, as a characteristic, is seemingly despised.
As an outsider, I see a society that has lost sight of what matters. People matter. Lives matter. Money doesn't. Yet, in Singapore it is the latter that matters, and the former which are undervalued.
There is also a general lack of insight from the respondents concerning the causes of the suicides. They never look at themselves and their society to see if it could be to blame, they always blame the victims, instead. In Singapore, the victim is always at fault - for Singapore is a thing of blameless perfection and flawless wonder that could not possibly have played a part.
Well, it is clear to me, as an outsider, that were Singapore a kinder, warmer, more human society, that none of those three men would have killed themselves. It is the very harshness of the Singaporean people before human sensitivity, that led to their deaths. It is also that very harshness they show in response to those deaths.
The funny part of this is, of course, that when anything befalls the coldhearted respondents, no-one around them will give a damn - and so they will come to know what it feels, to have done to themselves, what they have so often done to others.
I shall continue to be sympathetic to those on whom misfortune or too much of life's pain has fallen. No doubt, my commenters shall continue to be unsympathetic and heartless, too.
I am not going to change my outlook simply because the people around me don't share it. It is important to retain one's deeper humanity, even if the society in which one lives has lost its - or never really known it.
Singapore has yet to learn what to value. At present, they have selected the wrong things to worship. Here, Mammon is God - and, in all else, they are unbelievers.
Perhaps it would take the fall of Mammon (which might be happening) to wake them up to more meaningful aspects of life.
However, it will not be until there is a flood of shared sympathy, when I post, again, on something unfortunate, that I will finally know that Singapore has matured to become fully human. Until then, sympathy shall, no doubt, remain a crime.
(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.
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Labels: an overseas view of Singapore, coldhearted, David Hartanto Widjaja, Dr. Allan Ooi, heartlessness, lack of humanity, mean-spirited, suicides in Singapore, sympathy is a crime, unfeeling, Zhou Zheng
