Missing the point of life.

What do these people have in common?: George Clooney, Hugh Grant, Jennifer Aniston, Ricky Gervais, Cameron Diaz, Winona Ryder, Eva Mendes, Jessica Biel, Helen Mirren, Margaret Cho, Jacqueline Bisset, Janeane Garofalo, Jay Leno, Kim Cattrall, Kylie Minogue, Lara Flynn Boyle, Opray Winfrey, Renee Zellwegger and Robbie Williams.
Have a think. What is the common trait?

You probably thought: “they are all “stars””. Well, yes…but that is not what I am reaching after. Each of the famous people named is child-less. They are not parents and except for one (Hugh Grant), have never expressed any interest in having a child. Hugh Grant began to mutter about fatherhood as a possibility at 49…but almost two years have passed and he has yet to do anything about it.

From my point of view, each of these famous people is missing the point of life. It is almost certain that none of them will have any children, in life. When they die, their uniqueness, such as it is, will die with them. None of the particular elements that went up to make their individual gifts will be passed on. They will be completely lost, as if they had never been (except for media records). In a very real sense, these people, at whom most of us look up to, as if they are outrageously “successful” are each, in actual fact, complete failures, in the only sense that really counts: in evolutionary terms. The four and half billion year chain of life, that gave rise to them – an unbroken chain of succession – ends with them. They are thus, total failures. They are the end-stop, of all the multibillion year striving that engendered them. There is something terribly tragic in that. Of course, what is most tragic is that none of them seem to realize it. They are too superficial, too concerned with their “personal freedom”, to understand what they are doing, or what they are losing.

I do not have success on the scale of any of these famous names. Yet, in another sense, I am far more successful than any of them. I am a successful parent, with three unique children. That is a kind of success that, in my eyes, outshines all that they have achieved in their media-hyped worlds. If I am fortunate and my children go on to have children, and their children, children and so on, then I shall have descendants spreading out through time, into the far future. Those famous names, however, will nothing behind but their names. Which is worth more…a legion of children…or a name? Life is ever greater than a word – whatever those famous people might think, now. Then again, it is possible that I will leave a name, as well as my children and grandchildren in this world. I might leave both types of legacy. That type of dual success is forever barred to Hollywood’s childless couples.

The common man might not see my life as “successful” as a Hollywood star – but in the way that really counts, I am far more successful, and accomplished. My life is lived with an understanding of the true purpose of life – theirs is not. I have given life to the world…but all they have given is entertainment. Set against each other, side by side, a life of entertainment does seem rather trivial by comparison. They have chosen a life free of substance, rich in triviality and fleeting sensation. They have set themselves free of children, so that they are “free” to enjoy themselves the better. Now, that is a choice we can all make – to choose pleasure over parenthood – but pleasure is always a fleeting thing, that needs to be forever sought again – parenthood is forever, or at least for life. It is not difficult to see, for me, at least, which, ultimately has the greater value.

So, which would you rather be: a Hollywood star, who is forever childless, or a parent of several adorable children? Would you choose the spotlight, or parenthood?

Posted by Valentine Cawley

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On avoiding a trivial life.

By happy chance, I was saved from a trivial life, not by success, but by failure. I should clarify that - not so much failure, as not abundant success.

I shall explain. You see, there is nothing more trivial than the modern actor, as conceived in the filmic world. It doesn't have to be this way - but it is. Modern film actors are almost always substanceless beings, devoid of real meaning and real artistic worth. Many of them cannot truly act, but are there for their natural gifts of appearance and charm. Those who can act, are often not allowed to, by film vehicles that require them to be little more than living props to special effects. The result is that few modern actors get the chance to be truly something worth being: a creator of "real" people.

I have been an actor. It is something I used to enjoy very much. I acted on stage, tv and the odd film - but, luckily, and I say this with great personal gratitude, it didn't take off in a big way. I did not become a star of film or tv. I am glad that this is so, because, I realize now, it is too easy to be tempted into a shallow life, if one is successful in such an arena. The opportunities on offer are not really creative opportunities and so it would be easy to waste one's life being uncreative in a supposedly creative way. By this I mean that the demands upon the modern actor do not usually admit the possibility of much creativity and even if they did, that creativity is secondary to the script and to the work of the director. The result is that actors do not, generally, have the chance to be what I term primary creators: builders of something truly new and unique.

The actor's life is a seductive but ultimately empty one, if that is all that you are doing. There is the fame, the money and the adulation that go with a successful actor's career - but these are all, in the end, shallow things if they are not accompanied by true creative accomplishment, which, in most cases, they are not.

I have had a lucky break, therefore. I was lucky enough to have the chance to act in diverse roles, but not so lucky as to be ensnared by the seductive life that could have developed, indeed, would have, had it taken off in a big way. Thus, I have managed to enjoy what acting has to offer, as an art, but without having to suffer the emptiness that follows upon making that one's sole lifelong pursuit.

There are other more worthy means of creation than acting. Writing is one which I enjoy. Scientific research is another - which I also enjoy. Then there is art, music, philosophy and so on. There are so many other ways to express one's humanity which afford more opportunity for creativity than does acting. I am lucky in that I presently pursue two of these other areas: science and writing. They give my life more meaning and substance than acting alone would have done.

That being said, there is merit in combining the life of an actor, with the life of another type of creator. That would be a more balanced, though rarely chosen course of action. Most actors, though, don't make such a choice largely because it is not possible for them: they don't have any other means of communication and creation, they are stuck within their own narrow facet of life and its observation.

For me, an ideal life has at least one form of true creativity as a significant part of it...preferably more than one form. A life without creativity is not, as far as I see it, a complete one. So, too, an actor's life, without another form of expression, is also incomplete and unsatisfying. Most actors, though, would disagree with me. They find wholeness in their partial creative lives. That is their choice and their understanding, but it is not mine.

I wonder, now, would I be pursuing research and writing had acting taken off in a big way for me? (I lacked the contact base to make it so, but in a way that seems fortunate now). I cannot know. I hope I would have had the wisdom to seek greater completeness of expression, but I cannot know, from this vantage. I only know, now, that this way has merits the other does not. So, in the end, life has brought me to a productive place that is worth being in. It is just that, at the outset, I could not see that I would get to this particular place at all.

I must say that the life of an actor is not the only shallow choice. A pop star, for instance, is another choice that seems glamorous but which is ultimately hollow. So, let it not be thought, that it is to acting alone that I direct the observation of shallowness: there are many areas to which it could apply.

It is funny to think it, but I am happy to lack great success in one area of my interest. That is a thought, I would once never have thought it possible to think - yet I do. How about you, too? Are there are any areas of your life that you now, in retrospect, find yourself happy not to have succeeded more fully at? You might be surprised at what some honest reflection reveals. Write your reflections below, please.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, 10, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, 6 and Tiarnan, 4, this month, please go to:
http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html

I also write of gifted education, child prodigy, child genius, adult genius, savant, megasavant, HELP University College, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, Malaysia, IQ, intelligence and creativity.

My Internet Movie Database listing is at: http://imdb.com/name/nm3438598/
Ainan's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3305973/
Syahidah's IMDB listing is at http://imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

Our editing, proofreading and copywriting company, Genghis Can, is at http://www.genghiscan.com/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. Use only with permission. Thank you.)