The roots of kindness.

World Kindness Day is on 13th November 2009. So, it is apt that attention should, once more, focus on the Singapore Kindness Movement. The big question to be asked, first, of course is: is Singapore an essentially unkind society?

The short answer, unfortunately, is yes – and I shall tell you why. Singapore is a country built on competition. It is a nation that has raised competition to be the apex of all human endeavour. Were there Ten Singaporean Commandments, the first would be: Thou Shalt Win (At All Costs). Here, in Singapore, the only thing that matters, really, is that one should “win”, no matter what it takes to do so. In a culture where the only success is to be “No.1”, it seems necessary, to the people, to step on everyone else to get there. People brought up to believe that “winning is all”, become people who will do anything to win. This creates a fundamentally unpleasant attitude towards other people. You see, in such a “winner takes all” culture, other people are not seen as one’s fellow citizens, of a shared nation, but as one’s COMPETITORS. It is a small step from the word “competitor” to the word “enemy”. Thus, true Singaporeans don’t love their fellow man, they compete with them; fight with them; trample on them. They come to be people who only think of one person: themselves – no-one else is considered, or even considered worthy of being considered. No-one else matters, but “me”.

Singapore is a nation of people each of whom has the same thought running through their heads: “me, me, me”. There is no room for thought of anyone else. The consequences are clear. Singaporeans won’t do even the most basic of kindnesses for each other. They slam doors in each other’s faces, instead of holding them open. They get on trains, or into lifts, before others have got off. They steal each other’s taxis, getting into cabs others have called. They jump queues and get angry if challenged (which rarely happens). If offered a seat, on a bus, or a train, they will almost always fail to say “thank you”, but will sit in silence. Unbelievably, they even attack their fellow Singaporeans online, for doing well, in any endeavour. The list of poor behaviours could go on forever – but there is no need, for all the behaviours share one thing in common: a lack of thought for anyone else. Here, no-one considers the feelings of others.

Now, how are we to change this? How are we to make a kinder society? The Singapore Kindness Movement is a start. At least, it might prompt people to reflect on the issues and begin a process of personal change. However, I think it is too late to expect adults to change their ways, significantly. If Singapore is to become noted for the kindness of its people (which would, after all, be a lovely thing, wouldn’t it?), the efforts must begin in early childhood. Singapore’s children need to be taught to think of their effect on others; they need to learn to consider the feelings of others, just as much as they do their own. Parents can help with this, but schools should take on much of the burden. The instilling of kindness, as a desired attitude, could be woven into every lesson, in every school, in the land. It should begin with the teachers…perhaps they can be kind to their students. Every time they do so, they are teaching the children about kindness.

Perhaps, too, if Singaporeans could learn to compete less, with each other, and appreciate more, each other’s achievements, then a greater consideration for each other, might grow in their hearts. If Singaporeans can accept that other Singaporeans can win, too, and that that is something to feel pride in, rather than resentment of, perhaps the essential attitude of Singaporeans towards each other, might be changed for the better.

Kindness is a very important quality of a people. A kind person makes the lives of every person they ever meet, better. Of course, the opposite applies, too: an unkind person, makes the lives of everyone they meet worse. So, the Singapore Kindness Movement does not represent a trivial idea. It represents something fundamental to the quality of life, for everyone living in Singapore. If Singaporeans are, on the whole, unkind to each other, then it makes Singapore an unpleasant place to live in. Thus, it is important, for every Singaporean to begin to think in terms of how they can be kind to others. At each and every interaction, with other people, thought should be given to how they might show kindness, in that moment. Were all to do this, Singapore would quickly become one of the world’s most pleasant places to live in.

Of course, it takes two people to be kind: not just one. By this I mean, whenever anyone shows a kindness to another, that other should say: "Thank you", for the kindness shown. Should they not thank their benefactor, they would be greeting a kindness, with rudeness...which is just another variety of unkindness. So there are two parts to this: being kind to others - and being polite to those who are kind to us.

Be kind!

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

IMDB is the Internet Movie Database for film and tv professionals. If you would like to look at my IMDb listing for which another fifteen credits are to be uploaded, (which will probably take several months before they are accepted) please go to: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3438598/ As I write, the listing is new and brief - however, by the time you read this it might have a dozen or a score of credits...so please do take a look. My son, Ainan Celeste Cawley, also has an IMDb listing. His is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3305973/ My wife, Syahidah Osman Cawley, has a listing as well. Hers is found at: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3463926/

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

The Amazing Bouncing Apple iPod.

This evening, I saw an Apple iPod, bouncing along the ground. It was being dragged by a young Indian man to whom it was attached. The Apple iPod bounced its way in front of a crowd at a bus-stop near a shopping mall - and an entire row of heads duly turned and tracked the bouncing Apple iPod as it passed them. Tellingly, not a one made a single move to tell the Indian owner of the Apple iPod about his strange tail.

The Apple iPod owner was on the phone, completely oblivious to the rattle of his electronic equipment, as it skipped across the surface of the pavement.

Seeing that none of the perhaps fifty witnesses was going to act, I decided to give chase to the man and tell him of his Apple iPod's imminent destruction.

"Excuse me!", I called, from several metres behind him.

He didn't hear me, but yabbered on in some uninterpretable language on the phone.

"Excuse me!", I called again, to his oblivousness.

He didn't notice.

"EXCUSE ME!", I said, rather more loudly, on the verge of a shout, from about two metres behind him.

He didn't hear a word.

This went on for three more cries.

Finally he turned, rather oddly, to the right and all the way around. This was odd because I was standing to his left - and surely he must have heard that. It was clear that he could only coordinate his body in one direction.

"Yes?", he asked, while pressing his phone still firmly to his ear.

"Do you really want to drag your Apple iPod like that?", I asked, pointing to his electronic tail some metre and a half behind him.

"Oh!", he looked quite startled and then, unexpectedly, in this country of no appreciation for kindnesses done, he said, with some enthusiasm: "Thank you! Thank you!"

He picked up his Apple iPod and walked off ahead of me.

A minute or so later, he turned around again and stared up at me.

"Thank you, sir, thank you!"

Apparently, his thanks was of the lasting kind and he felt the need to repeat himself, the first thanks not being enough.

I found the whole incident rather instructive. You see, this young man with the Apple iPod, managed to drag it past an entire crowded bus-stop full of people...and all they did was stare to their own amusement. Not a one did anything to inform the man of his misfortune. The question that bothers me is: why? Why did no-one - out of perhaps fifty people - actually just tell him what was happening? It would have cost them nothing to do so - but would spare him the cost of a smashed Apple iPod.

I feel that Singapore is one of those countries in which people have not yet learnt to care for one another. If everyone looked out for everyone else and if everyone reached out to help when they had the power to do so, Singapore would be so much a better place than it is. Everyone would be happier and everyone would feel more attached to this nation - it is even likely that EMIGRATION would decline. Yet, it is not so. Singapore is a country in which everyone just sits back and watches another's misfortune without anyone even thinking of intervening to help. It is, therefore, a nation in which entirely preventable unhappiness is allowed to unfold without intervention.

I witnessed this particular incident with the Apple iPod, however, I only read of another incident that it reminds me of. There was a report in the newspapers recently of a young girl who was molested in public. She cried out for help...but despite there being many, many people nearby (as there always is, in ever so crowded Singapore) not a single person stepped forward to help: they all just watched, instead. To my mind this means that those who watched and did nothing, were as much molesters as the person who molested her. You see, in not intervening, they were, to my thinking, complicit in the act: they ALLOWED it to happen. They all, individually, had the power to prevent and bring to an end the molestation - or, at the very least, catch her attacker. All they had to do was step forward and act...but none chose to do so.

Now, I find this collective cowardice and indifference very strange. You see, in Singapore, there is no threat of the molester being armed, as there is in some other countries. In Singapore, there really are no weapons around. The attacker, therefore, is almost certain not to have a weapon of any kind - so what, therefore, is the personal risk to those who intervene? There is none. Yet, despite the fact that there is no risk to the onlookers, they chose just to carry on looking, instead of helping the girl.

Perhaps, matters would improve if the law permitted ALL the onlookers to be charged with complicity in the molestation, for not doing anything about it. Perhaps, then, people would act to help others, when someone was under attack or in distress. Given the way Singaporeans are (ie. indifferent to the fate, lives and safety of all others but themselves) this is the only way to ensure that Singaporeans would ever help each other. It should become a crime not to help another if you have the power to help them. That would solve the problem overnight - it would also provoke a sharp decline in the crime that remains in Singapore (for though crime is low, it is present).

I find it odd that Singaporeans don't understand this simple idea: that we are all in this life, together. We all live and die, together. Therefore, we should all look after each other and make this life as good as can be. We should not live our lives as if no-one else matters and ignore the plight of all around. If we ignore others, they will ignore us - and that is bad for everyone. Today, I did something simple to help another. It cost me nothing but two minutes of my time, which I would have spent anyway, since he and I were walking in the same direction. In other words, it cost me no additional time...all that it cost me was the effort of speaking. Yet, it saved him from a broken Apple iPod, for if he had dragged that around much longer assuredly it would have come to harm.

Yet, it should not have been me, who stepped forward to help him. For many, many people must have seen him dragging his Apple iPod behind him, before I did. He walked past a bus-stop, in front of me, as I got off a bus...so I was among the LAST to see him, at that time. Yet, I was the only one to act.

If Singapore were as I hope it will one day be, there would be many voices telling such a man of his predicament; there would be many people giving chase to the molester - and some giving aid to the girl. Presently, though, Singapore is a country in which it is almost certain that no-one will come forward to help anyone else, under any circumstances. As one poster once observed to me, on this blog: "They will only help someone if there is money in it for them." In other words, this is presently a nation in which you would have to PAY a bystander to help you.

I hope to see an improvement in this kind of behaviour. People must realize that if they give to another, of their time, their support or their kindness, they are also giving an example to many witnesses of a better way to be. The next time, those witnesses may, in turn, give to others...and so a virtuous circle begins and soon the behaviour of helping others is commonplace.

Try it, the next time you see that someone needs help. Reach out and help them. Usually, it will cost you nothing, but it will mean everything to them.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)

Singapore Kindness Movement.

Singapore has a "kindness movement"...but does it need one?

Coincidentally, I had a conversation with a group of Koreans living in Singapore, recently. They spontaneously observed...all of them...that Singaporeans are "not kind". This is, of course, from a Korean perspective, which is, rather like the Japanese, in being quite a gentle, polite society. However, what they had to say was instructive. I shall retell one story from the conversation.

One of the Koreans, who speaks English, Korean and Chinese Mandarin quite well was buying food at a hawker stall. She decided to speak English, rather than Chinese, so as to practise her English (her Chinese being a stronger language, for her).

The two Chinese ladies at the hawker stall also replied in English...bad English, but English nevertheless and set about getting her food. However, what they did next was unexpected. They started criticizing the Korean girl's facial appearance and clothing choices, in front of her, in Chinese. The criticisms were quite harsh and the Korean girl found herself being most wounded by their remarks. She said nothing, however, but just listened.

The Korean girl came away from the experience with the impression that Singaporeans are rather unkind about their fellow humans. She had only been in Singapore a few weeks and this was an influential moment.

There are many examples I could give, from their conversation with me, alone...but that one should suffice. The Chinese stallholders felt safe to be unkind about her, because they thought she would not understand. However, I think that they should not have been unkind, even if she could not understand. She would have picked up on the non-verbal language even if she had not understood a single word of their Chinese (all of which she did understand).

April has been designated as Kindness Month. It will be good to see if the Singapore Kindness Movement can actually have an effect on the type of behaviour I am sure we are all familiar with: that which mars someone else's day, for no other reason than a lack of care for one's fellow man.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to:http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.

We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.

This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)