On being matter of fact.

People are funny - if you like sick jokes.

I shall explain. Occasionally, I get very indignant comments (which I tend not to post), from people who accuse me of being "arrogant" and "proud". When I read their tortured words, I find myself quietly puzzled. It seems strange to me that someone who has never met me, never heard my voice, never listened to my words, never seen my expressions, never known my handshake, never had a chance to converse or discuss ideas with me, can come to a conclusion about my nature.

Usually, they base their assumptions on the fact that my posts speak of my children. They read in my simple descriptions of their doings and beings "arrogance" and "pride" - yet, I have neither. I am actually a very straightforward person of no pretensions whatsoever. Anyone who knows me, well enough, would agree. Strangely, however, these indignant posters find the means to make a character judgement of me, without actually ever having met me, or having any first-hand information to go on, at all.

I find it interesting that people who have no real information can come to clearly what are firmly held conclusions, on someone else's personality. I think what is happening here, to a great extent, is that they proceed by assumption. They assume that a person whose child happens to be gifted in some way will be "proud" or "arrogant" about it - and then project this assumption onto the writer who describes such a child. Perhaps, indeed, what they are projecting is themselves: if they were in the same situation THEY would be "proud" and "arrogant".

Parents of gifted children sometimes encounter such reactions in person, face to face, when they unwittingly annoy another parent by simply telling a story, as an act of sharing, about their child. It usually never occurs to the parent of a gifted child that the other parent might be annoyed by such a story - because the child described is doing something their child cannot. Basically, a lot of this assumption of "pride" and "arrogance" comes down to pure jealousy. The jealous person projects negative qualities onto the gifted parent, so as to justify their own negative feelings towards that person. They don't see that the origin of the negativity lies in themselves. Were their jealousy to go away, so would their belief in the other's "pride" and "arrogance".

In this, rather dumbed down world we live, all a gifted person or gifted parent has to do to cause offence to others, is to think, in public. Nothing is more sure to cause offence than an intelligent utterance. To think, is to be damned. You see, many people...usually not very bright people, find it very hard to actually acknowledge that a bright person is not being "arrogant" or "prideful" when they speak with evidence of a working mind. They are simply being authentically themselves.

For a bright person, it would be inauthentic not to speak, as if thought were in action. It would be a lie not to be clear and lucid in verbal expression. It would be untrue to pretend not to know or understand. Yet, many people expect an absence of thought in the conversations they hear; expect a cumbersome lack of clarity or just an ever present simplicity, in expression; expect others not to know or understand. All one has to do to offend such a person is to think, to know or to understand.

In many societies, being bright, is socially unacceptable. In Singapore, the best way to be is to be just like everyone else (see prior post). However, in the best societies (which may be hypothetical) the best way is just to accept others as they are and value them for themselves. Few, though, seem to practice this ethos.

I write in a matter of fact way about everything: the things I understand, the things I appreciate, the doings of my children, memorable moments in their growth. There is never a moment when I feel "prideful" or "arrogant". In fact, I have never really understood the need for such emotions. We are all human beings. We are all living the one life that we shall ever have. I think we should be more accepting of each other.

I write about giftedness (and many other things). Giftedness, as an issue, does not get the attention its innate importance deserves. I think, therefore, that it is important to write of it and perhaps do something to increase awareness of the issues and problems involved. All other areas of life have their advocates, spokespeople, writers and communicators. I don't see why I shouldn't be one for giftedness - for such people are needed. Every community needs a voice. I voice the concerns of a particular segment of the population that is often afraid to speak out too much, lest it attract the negative attention, sometimes very aggressive, negative attention that is customarily hurled at the gifted and their parents.

No. In my experience, gifted children and their parents are not "proud" or "arrogant" - they are just simply trying to make the best of what they are, in the hope of offering something to a, perhaps, undeserving world. (For a deserving world, wouldn't accuse them of "arrogance" or "pride" in the first place.)

By the way, the latest person to accuse me of "pride" and "arrogance" was a Singaporean (IP address). It is a pity that people such as him/her cannot accept others as they are, without assuming them to be what they are not. Such sentiments don't make one feel entirely welcome, here...but you know, it is a big world out there. There are many places that are more accepting of people who have something to offer.

(If you would like to learn more of Ainan Celeste Cawley, a scientific child prodigy, aged eight years and seven months, or his gifted brothers, Fintan, five years exactly, and Tiarnan, twenty-eight months, please go to: http://scientific-child-prodigy.blogspot.com/2006/10/scientific-child-prodigy-guide.html I also write of gifted education, IQ, intelligence, the Irish, the Malays, Singapore, College, University, Chemistry, Science, genetics, left-handedness, precocity, child prodigy, child genius, baby genius, adult genius, savant, wunderkind, wonderkind, genio, гений ребенок prodigy, genie, μεγαλοφυία θαύμα παιδιών, bambino, kind.We are the founders of Genghis Can, a copywriting, editing and proofreading agency, that handles all kinds of work, including technical and scientific material. If you need such services, or know someone who does, please go to: http://www.genghiscan.com/ Thanks.This blog is copyright Valentine Cawley. Unauthorized duplication prohibited. Use Only with Permission. Thank you.)